Goal #1 of the 2010-2011 School Year

Okay, so this school year, one of my goals was to bring my lunch every day so I could avoid paying $2 for a lunch from the cafeteria which provides little to no nutrition and is less than appetizing.

I made it two weeks.

Yesterday I bought my first school lunch and could barely choke down the frito pie. The corn I took one bite of and then decided I was done.

Today was "chicken" sandwich with mac and cheese and sliced apples. I managed to get the "chicken" sandwich down with half a bottle of Sunkist, the mac and cheese was okay but I just wasn't in the mood for it and the apples tasted like floor cleaner.

I wish Jamie Oliver would come to our school and do a food revolution. I'm sure he would have no opposition.

Snowman Zombies!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the other day, DFW got dumped on by the Snow Gods. Yay! It was so fun! Most TX children's experiences with snow are watching the flakes fall and then melt. Sometimes it sticks and then they can build and miniature snowman that is comprised of 50% snow and 50% dirt and leaves. But this week was different! In my backyard, I got 6 inches of snow and in places further north, they got more. So what does everyone do when it snows that much? Of course we go out and build snowmen! And if you looked outside yesterday it was a winter wonderland with snowmen galore. But today, after things had started thawing out, their true colors came shining through and it felt a bit ominous driving down the street with dismembered and disfigured snow people staring at you as if they had eaten all the people that lived in the house and if you got out of your car, you were next! So I took a few pics with my phone (I wasn't getting out of the car) so you'd believe me...

As if he's leaning back giving an evil laugh...

They look friendly but...

Lost his head...

Weeeee-yerd!

Those valentine hearts are a ruse...

The horror!!!!

I have more pics on my fb photo album titled Snowman Zombies. It makes me afraid to go outside...

No Words...

I just wanna know how American Apparel even stays in business selling crap like this. Do people really buy this? Why? Why would they do that? If this is fashionable, consider me...I don't know...whatever the opposite of fashionable is...unfashionable? Whatever.

Maybe...I Should Try This?

Please don't show this to PETA. Please don't hate me. Squirrels are evil. If you don't believe me, read my post from about a year ago... click here. You guys remember that? I do. And the stinking squirrels have already started bombing Millie and myself with pecans. I'm not lying. They don't just let them drop. They are thrown at us! There is a definite sound difference with the amount of force the pecans hit the deck with. Then Millie looks up at me with this look on her face like, "Holy crap! That was CLOSE!" It's ridiculous. Anyways, good idea? What do you think? My dad sent me this video...I have to give him credit. He's always got good ideas. He tried out for Jeopardy once...it's true.

I Really Hate It When...

...you are standing there at Home Depot in front of a shelf of hard to reach 60 lb. bags of cement and there are two grown men standing 5 ft. away from you who don't offer to help until they see you about to fall over under the weight of something that weighs half as much as you. "No, I don't need your help...anymore, I've got it...thanks."

You Know...

...sometimes a girl doesn't want to be pushed away, she wants to be pursued.

...sometimes a girl doesn't want to make you feel bad, but wants to make you feel happy again.

...sometimes a girl doesn't want you to let go, she wants you to hold on real tight.

...sometimes a girl doesn't want you to back off, but wants you to step up.

I mean, I'm just sayin'.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Need (NEED!) an iPhone (in no particular order...)

1. Someone called my phone "old school" the other day...it's barely two years old.

2. The hinge for the "flip" part of the flip phone is broken, so...yeah.

3. Cracked screen around the edges from sitting on my phone.

4. Crack on the keypad from sitting on my phone.

5. The sticker on the middle button (you know, the one that has all the shortcuts so you don't have to go through menu all the time) came off, like, a year ago. I have no idea what happens if you push the left or right side...

6. It's got dirt stuck in little crevaces from sweat and make-up that I can't get to, and it grosses me out.

7. The camera function is useless as I can take pictures but I can't do anything with them.

8. It takes forever to send a text message because I don't have a full keypad and I'm not talented enough to be able to use the word guessing function (see? I don't even know what it's called!)

9. I have a hard time hearing people as their voices are either muffled or too low, so I end up messing with the volume ALL the time and then missing half of whatever story someone is telling me.

10. It makes this sad little squeak when I open my phone, like it's saying, "Please! Just stop!"

See? I NEED an iPhone! I have to wait till August 15 though...cause AT&T said they can offer me a "discounted iPhone upgrade at a higher price". Does anyone else understand this? I don't, but whatever...

Really? Really.

Normally I would leave any and all fashion topics up to Bombshell Maigen because she does a much better job at it than I ever could, but I just had to share my thoughts about The Sash. Who knows, she may have already blogged about it and it will look like I'm trying to be like her. Well, I am. Every girl can use a little bit more fashion knowledge in their life...especially if they think The Sash (cleverly designed by American Apparel) is something they should purchase and wear. Ok, here are my thoughts:

First: You can take The Sash and use it as a giant bowtie!

Second: You can take The Sash and use it as a flower waist belt!

Third: You can pretend like you are a snake charmer or a fortunate cancer patient with hair and wear it as a turban!

Fourth: You can use it to tie onto your purse so you have the appearance of being messy!

Fifth: You can put it on your hat so that everyone sees it, but you will have some tough competition at the Kentucky Derby I'm afraid.

Sixth: You can wear it as a skinny belt to accentuate your all too skinny and all too tight pants.

Seventh: You can look as ridiculous as this poor girl right here:

I think I will put The Sash in the same category as American Apparel's The Sack and also The Snuggie.

This Makes Me Happy...

Did you know that the sequel to Night at the Museum beat the Terminator Salvation movie this weekend? This really makes me happy. Now don't get me wrong...I love the Terminator movies (don't judge), but I really like it when kids movies beat out the blow up movies. This means that more families are spending time together than apart.

And that is all I have to say. The end.

How To Inflict Pain On Yourself Without Moving a Muscle

The answer? Go to a Single Adult Conference. You don't even have to attend the whole thing. One day will do plenty. Half a day actually would be sufficient. Not that I want to inflict pain upon my readers, but just so you will understand, here are a few highlights:

1. We sat for basically 9 hours. Yes, 9 hours. That's not a typo. We listened to the welcome speaker for an hour. Ate lunch for an hour. Had workshops (a.k.a. listened to speakers) for four hours. Listened to the Texas Boys Choir (the entertainment portion of the evening) for an hour. And then listened to our keynote speaker for an hour. My whole body ached after that.

2. It was freezing...FREEZING! You know that time of year when it stops being nice and cool and starts to get warm? The time of year we are in now for instance. And then they program the A/C to come on because it's so warm outside. And then it turns freezing cold inside and you have to go outside to warm up. There is just no happy medium...it's either too hot because the A/C is not on or too cold because it is.

3. Erica, Jen, and I were the youngest people there by at least 20 years. Okay, okay. There were a few other people our age but not many. And by not many I mean like 3 or 4 others. I counted 2 people knitting, 1 person in the first aid room (when you know there will be old people coming, I guess you have to be prepared with a first aid room...all we did was sit though, so I have no idea what this woman did to constitute needing to lie down on a cot with a blanket covering her), 8,348,357 barrettes, 200 women, and 10 men.

4. Going back to a familiar place from my young adult/youth years is just an invitation for awkward moments. Life is messy and it never turns out how you thought it would back then. What are you supposed to say when an old friend that you haven't seen or talked to in years announces to you that she has recently divorced her second husband? "Uhhhh...errr....ummm...okay."

5. Questions. I have so many questions. Why do miraculous events and inspiring stories only happen in Utah? Why were all of our speakers from Utah? (Okay, not all but most) Why is there a married couple assigned to preside over the single adults? Why didn't I realize it wasn't going to get any better? Why did they come in and take away the soft cushy chairs and replace them with the hard metal chairs for the last hour of the conference?

6. The overall theme of the conference was something about being of good cheer. Every talk was geared toward someone who is going through a really difficult time in their life and designed to lift them up. It's not a bad topic...for one or two of the talks, not for all of them. I couldn't even pay attention anymore at the end. I kind of wanted to stand up and scream, "I'm fine! I'm happy! Can we talk about something else now?" But then I realized that the majority of the people there needed that even though I didn't.

Anyways, I won't bore you to death with the details but I do need to commend my comrades who endured to the end with me by presenting them with two very special awards:

Erica gets the award for being the youngest person in attendance, for staying awake the whole time, and for making me laugh at inappropriate things in church.

Jen gets the award for being the most positive, taking notes and sharing them with me *wink*, and for sharing her blanket with me so I didn't turn into a human popsicle.

And now for my favorite quote of the day yesterday:
"Did you ever think you would find yourself at a single's conference surrounded by old people wrapped up in a camping blanket?" - Erica

Let's Just Get This Over And Done With

Last month started a season that comes around every so often. It brings with it new beginnings and a chance to start a new fresh part of your life. No, not Spring! Blah blah blah! Why would I blog about Spring? I'm talking about Wedding Season. I have already attended a reception, a wedding/reception, and a bridal shower so far this season. The two weeks after Valentine's Day, 5 people that I knew got engaged. Not just acquaintences, but people that I talk to on a regular basis. Now I know everything I'm about to say is going to come out sounding cynical and bitter, but I'm really not. I really am happy for my friends and family members who get married and I do want to be there as a witness of their special day, but each time the thought runs through my head, "Let's just get this over and done with already." I'm not talking about the wedding itself or even all the traditional festivities that go along with it. I'm talking about the part where people walk up to you and say things like, "You're next!", or "Sooooooo...how are things going? Anything...NEW????", or "We'll be doing this for you pretty soon.", or my favorite "I can't wait for YOU to get married." I'm not lying, it seriously makes me want to swing a shovel at their head...even if it's my closest family member. Instead I just give clipped one word answers and annoyed looks. I'm not sure if it has the same effect. But don't worry, I won't hit anyone with a shovel...they usually aren't available at weddings. Anyways, it's not that they are trying to be mean or anything. I know that. They do it out of love blah blah blah because they want me to be happy blah blah blah. So, just a word of advice for everyone, from the smug marrieds to the singletons, don't pester people about their relationship status. I mean, after I have just spilled my guts to you about how I bought a house, finished my master's degree, and took a trip to Forks, Washington, don't you think I would have mentioned my really hot super nice boyfriend if I had one? C'mon! Aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhh!

Okay, that's all. Loveyoubye. :)

I Like My Bubble

So this morning I was driving to work and I heard a story on the radio about this woman who had a chimpanzee for a pet. Yesterday the chimp attacked the owner's friend and started eating her. Disturbed? Yeah, so was I.

If you've heard about this story and have heard the 911 call, you are probably just as disturbed as I am right now. It's scary.

This lady treated this chimp like a child of her own (it eats people food at the dinner table, goes for rides in the car, looks at pics on the internet, and channel surfs with the remote). Then one day he was acting weird so she gives him Xanax and then right in front of her he attacks her friend and she has to go at the chimp with a butcher knife and shovel to get him off her. The chimp escaped and found a police car, and got in and the police officer ended up shooting the chimp.

But could you imagine? Your pet attacks your friend and then begins to eat her right in front of you?

...This is why I like the bubble that I live in...cause I don't want to imagine that.

And I know, chimps are wild animals and aren't really the kind of animal you should keep for a pet. That's not what this post is about. It's about the fact that I like my nice clean and tidy life and even though I know someday I might have to go through some horrible tragedy, for now I would like to enjoy my bubble where my kitty is nice to me and is happy to see me. She actually sat on my lap last night and stayed there for about an hour. I've had that cat for 11 years and not once has she ever sat in my lap voluntarily. It's a big step.

Anyways, I just thought I would take a moment to express my gratefulness for the absence of horror in my life. :)

Highly Disturbed And A Little Confused

First of all, I would like to apologize for all of my recent posts being about weird subjects that there are no words for. Second, I would like to apologize for this post being the second of weird ones about cats. This one is incredibly funny though, so even if you don't like cats, please keep reading.

Okay, a little background: my family is a family of cat lovers. We always have been. Everyone has a cat except for two of my brothers (and they may have cats but I don't know). Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, everyone. So when we all get together you can guess where our conversations go 90% of the time...cats. And everyone knows everyone else's cats names and we tell stories about them like they are part of the family. Stories often begin like this, "You'll never believe what (insert cat and/or child's name here) did..." You're laughing already aren't you?

Here's an example: Tonight my brother and SIL were asking me what I wanted for Christmas and I couldn't give them an answer. So to try and get me to think of something, my brother asked, "If Millie could get you something for Christmas, what would she get you?" to which I answered, "Uh, probably poison." Because we all know that Millie pretends to love me but in reality I think she plots ways to get rid of me on a daily basis. Mostly her plots include tripping me, ignoring me, or my favorite: playing with my emotions (this is where she comes up and loves on me and then promptly growls and runs away).

So my most recent cat story I have been sharing is that Millie has taken to getting up on the couch behind me and rubbing her head on my head. Sometimes she will even lick my hair. If I reach up and pet her, she just pushes her head against mine. It's very odd.

Well, my cousin came over tonight and brought his girlfriend and as we were sharing cat stories, I brought up the head rubbing and she said it was because Millie was trying to dominate me.

WHAT?!! DOMINATE ME?!!!

No, no. (insert finger shake here) My cat knows who is in charge. My cat comes when I call her. My cat sleeps at the foot of the bed. My cat doesn't jump on the counter or the table. She's a brat, but she knows who is boss. I know the rest of you don't believe that, but it's true.

I was very disturbed by this whole "cat dominating human" thing so I decided to do some research of my own on Google. My initial search led me to believe that it wasn't a dominance issue, just her marking me with her scent to show love and affection (although why after 10 years of companionship she has decided she now needs to mark my head with her scent instead of my legs, I don't know). I then did a search for "my cat rubs my head with her head" and found some very interesting stories. Some very disturbing stories. Some very funny stories. And I have posted them here for you to read.

"All three of our cats do this to some extent. One will knead my hair while I'm laying down and then sleep in it once it's arranged to her liking. The other will chew on it and play with it. And the third likes to sort of perch of my shoulder and knead and nuzzle until he's entangled in it. Then he purrs and drools. The drool is actually a little gross, but I haven't really worked out a solution yet since I don't have the heart to make him stop. It's really the only time he's affectionate and I feel like it's sort of a bonding thing between us."

This person IS dominated by their cat. And not just one, but three! THREE! Never in a million years would I ever allow any animal to arrange, chew, play, or entangle themselves in my hair. Yuck. Just plain yuck.

"My oldest cat loves to play "hairdresser" when my hair has been freshly washed and up until the next day. I'm pretty sure she loves the smell of the various shampoo and conditioners (since I use several different brands).She will come up behind me on the couch, or on my pillow when I am propped up in bed and will stroke my hair gently with her trimmed claws as if combing it. Sometimes, I will hear her sniffing and breathing the scent deeply and then she will sometimes "bonk" my head with hers because she is so happy. So yeah, lots of cats have a "hair fetish", especially for freshly-washed hair..."

This person is also dominated by their cat. Seriously? I would be scared to go to sleep at night with a cat in my house that combs my hair with it's "trimmed claws".

"My cat loves hair. I wouldn't really care that much, but she loves to swallow it, too. I am constantly pulling soon-to-be-ingested chunks of hair (still connected to my head) out of her mouth. Since I shed constantly (and, oddly enough, as a semi-hairless cat, she doesn't shed at all), she always has a strand or two of my hair hanging out of her mouth. This wouldn't bother me so much, except it causes disgusting digestive troubles for her on the other end. Ew."

How do you sit there long enough with your cat chewing on your hair that they actually have time to begin ingesting it? If it's so gross, do not let them get that close to your head! Your cat is looking at you as something to eat. You should be worried...a lot.

"I used to have a cat that loved to get on the pillow while I was sleeping and knead my hair. On several occasions I woke to find him completely entangled - unwrapping a cat from your hair at 4 a.m. is not a fun process. After that he slept downstairs."

Finally, one smart person! You don't allow your cat to sleep with you anymore when it is entangling itself in your hair.

So now I am confused. Is Millie trying to dominate me or just show love and affection? Regardless, the head rubbing is ceasing effective immediately. I know you all think I have a bizzaro cat, which I do, but let's face it...all cats are bizzaro. Maybe that's why my family likes them so much. Maybe that's why we prefer cats over dogs (animals that do nothing but love you and try to please you)...we are more bizzaro than affectionate. I don't know.

Today at 3:15...

...I will be ready with purse in hand to walk right out of here. I cannot tell you how much I hate this week. Every year it is the worst...possibly even worse than the week before we get out for summer. Everyone is so incredibly ready to get out of school for the blessed 2 weeks and on top of that, everyone is so stressed out because not only do you have your own personal Christmas hell to go through, you have school Christmas hell to go through as well.

This specific week, however, has been crap-o-la. First we had the lovely day of Arctic Winter on Tuesday. The day which I couldn't get my garage door open (eventually I did though) and the same day that the power went out at school. Then it turned into Regular Texas Winter where it's just wet and cold and you hate being outside on Wednesday. The day that the heat didn't work in the library and there was a foul smell in the hallway, so I secluded myself in my freezer and tried to stay warm without puking from the stench. Then it turned into The Rainforest when the fog settled in. The day we had a PTA Pajama Read-In and Choir Concert here at school. It wasn't so bad...just extremely muggy throughout the whole school. This was also the day I discovered that a ginormous branch had fallen and was precariously leaning on a wire connected to my house. It almost knocked me over when I pulled it down.

However, today, the sun is shining and I get to see my gals for book club tonight. :) So let's hope it's the beginning of the end.

And remember folks...

"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear."

Twilight: To Love or Not To Love

If you saw Twilight and liked it, great. I am very happy for you that it brought some amount of joy to your heart no matter how great or small that joy might have been.

I however, did not like the movie. I thought it was pretty much terrible. Here are a few reasons why (in no particular order):

1) There was no meadow scene. Edward was jumping around in trees and Bella was following him around by expertly manuevering over moss covered fallen trees. Bella is supposed to be a huge klutz...yes, that is very important to the story line.

2) Bella. She was a spaz 90% of the time. I couldn't even tell what she was thinking with all of the blinking and shaking and pained looks.

3) Edward. He looked like he was about to vomit 90% of the time. When he smiled, I actually believed he was Edward...but that didn't happen too often.

4) All the other vampires looked fake. And Jasper...oh Jasper was pure awfulness. He gets his own number...

5) Jasper. I think I've already posted my feelings about how incredibly gay he looks in the movie. And what was up with the bug eyes?

6) The Biology scene...need I say more?

7) Bella and Edward's conversations were...well...awkward. It felt a lot of the time like I was listening in on a private conversation and it kind of made me uncomfortable.

8) Billy and Edward's stare of death as they drove past each other.

9) 90% of the lines were out of context. For example: Bella pulls up to school. Mike runs up to her and says to her in a rush, "Hey Bella. I don't like you dating Edward. He looks at you like you're something to eat. Bye." and then runs off.

10) The overall directing, acting, and script...it was like someone let a 13 year old take over all three.

Now, here's the part that I don't understand. Friends that I have talked to that saw it and liked it agreed with the things I listed above. But then they still said they liked it in spite of that.

So I'm done. I'm done trying to convince the world of how terrible the movie was. It's like trying to fight a losing battle. No matter what points of argument I give, you will agree with me but then still pick the other side. It's too frustrating...I can't do it anymore. So if you liked it, good but I can't discuss it anymore. We'll have to find other things to talk about like the greatness of Little Debbie's Snacks or funny episodes of The Office or what you are going to get me for my birthday present or what Millie's different meows mean. Those are some good starting points for conversations right? Yeah, I think so.

Apparently...

...there are some nerds out there that think that I am in love with them because I wear this shirt:

Please let me clarify: I am not IN LOVE with you because you are a nerd...I just love your nerdiness.

This is one of my favorite shirts. I like to wear it...a lot. I shouldn't because inevitably I end up having some awkward conversation with someone who says to me, "I'm a nerd." and then stares at me to see my reaction. I should have a response down by now, but I always end up smiling, giving an uncomfortable laugh, and then try to find something else to occupy my attention.

So, Saturday night I was working at the bookstore and consequently wearing my nerd shirt. We close at 8:00pm and right at 7:59pm, in walks two guys. In all fairness, they knew exactly what they were there to get and they didn't keep us there forever while they shopped, thank goodness.

We'll just call these guys Nerdy Nerd and Friend of Nerd. Nerdy Nerd pays for his merchandise first, and then Friend of Nerd puts his stack of books on the counter to pay for his. While I am ringing up Friend of Nerd, Nerdy Nerd says to me, "I'm a nerd." I smile, laugh uncomfortably, and occupy myself with trying to get them out as fast as possible so I can go home. This however did not deter Nerdy Nerd at all. He then takes out his cell phone and says, "I can prove it. Listen." and then proceeds to make me listen to some polyphonic beeping. So I just smile and nod my head in agreement that yes, you have now proved your nerdiness to me. Nerdy Nerd realizes that I have no idea what song he has just played for me, so he tells me. "It's from Super Mario Brothers."

Apparently, this isn't enough to convince me that he is really a nerd so then he says, "Wait, I have another one!" and then plays the Star Wars theme music.

"Wow! That is really nerdy." I say.

Please, please, please go away. Please.

"Here's another one." Seriously? I know you are a nerd. Just stop. Why is your friend standing there letting you make an idiot of yourself?

And then he begins to play the Darth Vader/Storm Trooper music from Star Wars. "That officially does it. You are a real nerd." I tell him.

So, Mr. Nerdy Nerd, I am not in love with you but I do love your nerdy ways and I do appreciate that you felt the need to prove it to me.

I Love/I Hate

I love counting change. Weird, I know, but I love it. It's soothing to me...kind of like alphabetizing things or listening to a clock tick.

However, I hate how dirty money is. Especially pennies. All the other change is shiny or whatever but pennies are always so incredibly nasty. Why is that? Why are pennies so gross? My fingers are black after counting them. *shiver*

I hate taking tests. Especially state certification tests in the state of TX. They suck. On Saturday, I had to take my librarian certification test and it was so unorganized and the administrators didn't know what was going on, it drove me nuts. Oh, and I just plain hate taking tests.

However, I always love to watch know-it-alls say something obviously stupid. It makes me smile. Which is what happened at my test Saturday. We'll call Miss Know-It-All KIA for short. Here is my story:
I get to the test site (Bryan Adams HS in Dallas...not a place I want to be after dark), and we are seated in the auditorium so that the administrators can make announcements on where everyone is supposed to be. While we are sitting there a LIC (Lady in charge) comes in and tells us that if we have a cell phone to go put it in our car because no cell phones are admitted. If we don't have a car (like if we got dropped off), then when we get in to our room to hand over our phone to the test administrator. If we are caught with a phone during the test, then our test is taken up and we must leave without finishing. So we get to our room and KIA asks the administrator if he wants to take our phones and he says "No, just keep it in your purse." Then a mini discussion ensues as KIA tells Mr. A (Administrator) the rules and he basically tells her it doesn't matter. KIA is frustrated because, well, she knows it all and is super nerdy taking some super nerdy math test and is one of those people who MUST follow the rules. Then after Mr. A is giving out the tests, KIA asks if he wants to see her calculator. He gives her a puzzled look and then she states loudly, "You're supposed to look at my calculator and make sure the memory has been wiped." Then she addresses the entire room and says, "It was in the rules. I read the rules and that's what it said." Really? You read the rules? Because if I remember correctly, on the first page in bold letters it states that cell phones are not permitted at the test site.

So just remember that with everything that you hate, there is always something in there you can find to love, and with everything you love, you may find something you don't like but you can still love it despite that.

There Is Nothing Wrong With You

Before you say, "Yeah right." Just hear me out...

As a single person, over the years I have heard my friends say things such as:

"What's wrong with me? Why don't guys/girls like me?"
"I don't know what is wrong with those guys/girls in your ward."
"There's a reason why so-and-so isn't married..."

And then my absolute favorite:

"I don't understand why you're not married."...which we'll get to later.

Now let me just tell you this:

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!!

Trust me, I've tried to figure it out and I've tried to fix everything...EVERYTHING, and nothing works. You know why? Because nothing is broken. I have thought that if I was:

more athletic
more politically minded
a good rollerblader (yeah, I really thought that once)
good at sports
better at managing money
healthier
prettier
skinnier
quieter
louder
funnier
smarter
dumber
less worried
more worried
less paranoid
more paranoid
more grown-up
more childlike
more churchy
even less churchy
etc...etc...etc...

...that he would find me more interesting, and the truth is, even though I tried to be all of those things at one time or another, it never worked. I even tried repenting once. Yes, I repented for still being single...guess what? That didn't work either...cause I didn't do anything wrong.

On the reverse side, it drives me nuts when people mutter, "What is wrong with guys these days?" Uh, just because they are not all beating down my door with marraige proposals doesn't mean that there is something wrong with all of them. I would think it highly weird if all the guys I knew were constantly trying to date me. Plus, I would loose a whole lotta friends. You can't blame an entire gender just because the one or two that you like doesn't like you back. Remember that we get to choose, and you are not always the right choice for someone else nor are they always the right choice for you.

Okay, next point: "I don't understand why you're not married." Really? Cause guess what? Neither do I. I'm not actually doing anything that would keep me from being in a relationship with someone...I'm not doing anything wrong either. The only thing I can figure out is that it's not my time yet. It's just not my turn. Heavenly Father has an order and a reason for everything and he hasn't forgotten about all of us, he's just gettin' things ready.

Sometimes I feel like that whiny kid that wants a reason for everything you ask him/her to do. You know, the one that you just get so fed up with and then turn around and yell at them, "Because I told you to!" Yeah, that's me...the whiny kid. But HF never yells at me...ever.

Now, before you go off thinking, "Whatever, you have no idea what I'm going through." or "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before." or "You don't have any room to be talkin'." Yes, I do. I have football fields of room in the boat that I was in with loads of other people who all got out one by one and went off to snag boyfriends, get married, and have babies. I'm not married. I ain't got no babies. There's nobody in my life to reassure me that I'm beautiful, smart, funny, blah, blah, blah. And I'm freakin' bailing water out of that boat with a teacup every day. So there.

So, who will you listen to?

Satan: "Hmmm...sorry. You just aren't good enough to make the Married's Team. :( Maybe next year, honey."

or

Heavenly Father: "I'm working on it...this is going to be so good! You are going to love it...I promise!"

An Awkward Sunday

Yes folks, that was what today was...an awkward Sunday. It all started when I had my interview in order to get a new temple recommend. We'll call this man Bro. P. (who is a very nice man and I am in now way trying make him look bad nor do I think badly of him...I laughed a lot at the things he said and I hope you do too). Anyways, so Bro. P. sat down with me and was asking me the typical get-to-know-you questions and our conversation went something like this:

Bro. P.: What ward are you in?

Me: Garland 4th

Bro. P.: Are you single?

Me: Yes.

Bro. P.: Why don't you go to the singles ward?

Me: I did until I turned 31.

Bro. P.: Oh, I didn't think you were a day over 25.

Me: :)

Bro. P.: You don't do anything with the older singles I presume?

Me: No...

Bro. P.: Well, I'm not going to tell you that you should because most of those people are in their 50s and it would be nothing but older men hitting on you and that wouldn't be good.

Me: Thank you.

Bro. P.: I know there is a group between 30 and 40 that get together and do things, do you ever do anything with them?

Me: No.

Bro. P.: There's a single guy that I know from another ward who is around your age...

Me: Are you talking about D.B.? (I am only going to refer to this guy as D, but I'm sure if you think hard enough, you might be able to figure out who it is...if not, ask me in person and I'll tell you)

Bro. P. (as his face lights up): You know him?

Me: Yes, D and I have been friends for a really long time. I've known him since he got home from his mission.

Bro. P.: Marry him.

AWKWARD!!!!!

Me: Uh....I don't want to marry D. We're just friends. I am not interested in him that way and besides, he's not the right guy for me.

Bro. P.: Well, okay. But don't wait around for Mr. Perfect. Find someone who is right for you but they won't be perfect.

Me in my head: Like I haven't heard that before! I'm 31 for crying out loud. You think this is the first time anyone has ever given me that advice?

Me in real life: Yes, I know :)

Okay, enough of awkward Sunday part 1. Let's now move on to part 2...

I get to church and am sitting on my favorite pew...the back pew. A man and his wife sit down next to me and introduce themselves. They are very nice and then the brother asks me if I am here alone or if there are other people with me. I tell him no, I'm alone and then he says "Awwwww!!! (like I just told him that my puppy died) That's terrible! We'll find someone for you!"

AWKWARD!!!

Then there were just a myriad of hymns today at church that were all at least two octaves higher than anyone could sing so we (well, them cause I didn't sing) sounded extremely pathetic whilst singing...

It was just one of those days.

I Hereby Solemnly Swear...

To never post my wedding picture as my facebook profile picture.

To never have so many applications of my facebook page that nobody can find my wall to write me a message.