Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Movie Clip Wednesday...A Little Early :)

Yes my friends, that is Seth Green. Raise your hand if you knew he was the little brother in Can't Buy Me Love. Anyone? Anyone?

My favorite quote: "Cards with the tards!"

Monday, April 27, 2009

It's Here!

I'm not calling it the swine flu...it sounds stupid. Like I'm trying to be hoity toity or something. I'm going to call it the pig flu. It flows doesn't it? Kind of like the disease itself. Just so you know, we're all going to get it. It's inevitable. Obama says there is no need to panic or be alarmed, but I say otherwise. One school in my district has already closed down for the week because two kids had the pig flu. That sends alarm bells going off all over the place!

What if I get sick? (which I will) I don't have a doctor. I never get sick. I don't even know where my insurance card is. Even if I had a doctor, what if he got sick? What if everyone got sick? Nobody would be there to take care of anybody. We'd all be too sick. Who would be there to pass out the Tamiflu? Obama? Yeah, right! He'll be playing golf while his "people" discuss the situation. Grrrrr...

My stomach hurts. I think I might die.

I knew it would come to this. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

I don't want the pig flu. I don't know where my SARS mask is anymore either. Oh, this is not good.

I don't even have a roommate to hold my hair back while I puke in the toilet. Then again, I don't have enough hair to hold back. I think I'm okay on that one. But still, I don't want to throw up. I hate throwing up.

Oh dear...this is not good at all...

Sunday, April 26, 2009

How To Inflict Pain On Yourself Without Moving a Muscle

The answer? Go to a Single Adult Conference. You don't even have to attend the whole thing. One day will do plenty. Half a day actually would be sufficient. Not that I want to inflict pain upon my readers, but just so you will understand, here are a few highlights:

1. We sat for basically 9 hours. Yes, 9 hours. That's not a typo. We listened to the welcome speaker for an hour. Ate lunch for an hour. Had workshops (a.k.a. listened to speakers) for four hours. Listened to the Texas Boys Choir (the entertainment portion of the evening) for an hour. And then listened to our keynote speaker for an hour. My whole body ached after that.

2. It was freezing...FREEZING! You know that time of year when it stops being nice and cool and starts to get warm? The time of year we are in now for instance. And then they program the A/C to come on because it's so warm outside. And then it turns freezing cold inside and you have to go outside to warm up. There is just no happy medium...it's either too hot because the A/C is not on or too cold because it is.

3. Erica, Jen, and I were the youngest people there by at least 20 years. Okay, okay. There were a few other people our age but not many. And by not many I mean like 3 or 4 others. I counted 2 people knitting, 1 person in the first aid room (when you know there will be old people coming, I guess you have to be prepared with a first aid room...all we did was sit though, so I have no idea what this woman did to constitute needing to lie down on a cot with a blanket covering her), 8,348,357 barrettes, 200 women, and 10 men.

4. Going back to a familiar place from my young adult/youth years is just an invitation for awkward moments. Life is messy and it never turns out how you thought it would back then. What are you supposed to say when an old friend that you haven't seen or talked to in years announces to you that she has recently divorced her second husband? "Uhhhh...errr....ummm...okay."

5. Questions. I have so many questions. Why do miraculous events and inspiring stories only happen in Utah? Why were all of our speakers from Utah? (Okay, not all but most) Why is there a married couple assigned to preside over the single adults? Why didn't I realize it wasn't going to get any better? Why did they come in and take away the soft cushy chairs and replace them with the hard metal chairs for the last hour of the conference?

6. The overall theme of the conference was something about being of good cheer. Every talk was geared toward someone who is going through a really difficult time in their life and designed to lift them up. It's not a bad topic...for one or two of the talks, not for all of them. I couldn't even pay attention anymore at the end. I kind of wanted to stand up and scream, "I'm fine! I'm happy! Can we talk about something else now?" But then I realized that the majority of the people there needed that even though I didn't.

Anyways, I won't bore you to death with the details but I do need to commend my comrades who endured to the end with me by presenting them with two very special awards:

Erica gets the award for being the youngest person in attendance, for staying awake the whole time, and for making me laugh at inappropriate things in church.

Jen gets the award for being the most positive, taking notes and sharing them with me *wink*, and for sharing her blanket with me so I didn't turn into a human popsicle.

And now for my favorite quote of the day yesterday:
"Did you ever think you would find yourself at a single's conference surrounded by old people wrapped up in a camping blanket?" - Erica

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Way Cool Movie Clip Wednesdays...According To Me

I am hereby declaring Wednesdays as Way Cool Movie Clip Wednesdays...According To Me. I decided this as I randomly thought of this clip today:

My favorite quote of all time: "Sometimes we don't do things we want to do so that others won't know we want to do them."

Monday, April 20, 2009

This is why I love my job...

Today was a great day in the red and yellow world of Library Land. This might not be funny or even interesting to you all, but it sure was to me. Here's what happened...

1) I have 3 sixth grade boys that I sort of tutor in reading three days a week. Lately I have just been letting them pick a book and then they read it to me and we talk about it. They really like that a lot better than me picking the books. Anyways, one of the kids picked a book about animal babies and decided to read the page about possums. Yuck! Do you all remember Peter the Possum? Well he/she is back and I discovered today that they can have like 50 babies at one time. Of course they don't all live because there aren't enough *ahem* "feeding stations" for all the babies, but still. So I tell this boy about Peter Possum that lives under my deck and he just kind of stares at me. Whatever. While I'm reading with another of the boys, he is whispering and giggling with the other boy. Before they leave I asked him what they were over there whispering and giggling about and he tells me, "We were just trying to figure out how you could get rid of your possum. Can't you call animal control or something?" After I explained how animal control was just going to give me a cage and let me catch it myself (which is not a desirable option for me), the boys suggested that I could just get my own cage and catch it and keep it as a pet. Ureka! Why didn't I think of that?!

2. Sometimes when I pass kids in the hall, they like to ask me things like, "Did I turn in all of my books?" or "What do I have checked out?" Like I'm some kind of walking database since I'm the librarian. Today, a third grader stopped me in the hall to tell me he really liked The Lightning Thief that I had suggested for him and that he is almost done with it. "Really? Wow! That's great." "Yeah," he says, "I'm on chapter 2." Mmmhhhmmm. You'll have that finished in NO TIME! :)

3. One of the fourth graders that I have in book club tells me that she wrote a book for her teacher. I don't doubt it. She's a very gifted and ambitious child. As she was telling me about it, she also told me things that were going to happen in the second and third book in this series. I asked her how many books are going to be in the series and she says, "Ten". And I'm not lying, she's got each one mapped out as to what is going to happen in the story. That's like more than Harry Potter or The Work and The Glory. And this kid is in the fourth grade!

4. This one was my favorite today and made me laugh the most. Another one of my fourth graders was chatting with me and some of the other students while we were waiting for the rest of our book club to show up. Last week we didn't meet because I had a meeting to go to and of course they asked me if it was fun and I told them how incredibly boring it was and how I would have much rather been with them (which was all true). She then told me something which I immediately forgot and then asked her again. (That's happening a lot lately...I think I have some kind of information overload or something). So she just gives me the look like, "Ms. Johnson! I just told you that!" and I say, "I'm sorry, my memory isn't so good lately." To which she replies, "Maybe it was that meeting you went to."

Thursday, April 16, 2009

One of these days...

...Millie will die. Not that I'm looking forward to it or anything, but it's just going to happen someday and I know that. When that happens, I will be free to get another pet. I've thought about getting a dog, but I'm kinda nervous about that. I mean, I'm a cat person...we all know that. I think I have finally decided what I want. I want two cats like this:

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Before and After

Sometimes in life you get a chance to get a good before and after picture of little things that happen...or big things that happen. Well, it just so happens that I got some good ones and I'd like to share them with you.

First, I got my trees trimmed in my yard. The ginormous tree in the front took them a little while to do because, well, it really needed it. My entire yard was filled with branches. It was insane. So I stood on my porch and watched because it was absolutely fascinating (and the highlight of my day up until that point) and I took a before and after picture of one part of my tree. I kind of wish I had taken a before and after pic of the entire tree, but it just didn't turn out that way.



My tree is soooooo much happier. And so am I knowing that none of those branches are going to destroy my house or yard or someone else's house. :)

Also this weekend, I went to Scarborough Fair with some friends. If you have never been to a Renassaince fair, I highly suggest going...at least once. It's full of people who like to dress up and like to cause a ruckus. And most of the time they are highly inappropriate which just adds to the merriment. As we were walking around, we spotted this guy dressed up as a gladiator/guard/something and suddenly he picks up this woman and almost throws her over his shoulder. My friend Daryl thought it would be fun if gladiator guy did that to me and he took a picture. I'm a good sport and thought it would be a fun photo op, so I said okay. We approached gladiator guy and I asked him if I could get my picture taken with him and he gruffly agreed and smashed me up against him in a friendly hug (a.k.a. death grip). I smiled and Daryl took the picture. At this point, I was really kind of frightened what this gladiator guy might do to me if he picked me up. I mean, he was s-t-r-o-n-g. I didn't want to break a rib or anything, but Daryl really wanted a funny picture so he asked if we could take just one more. So this time gladiator guy grabs my butt. Lovely!!!!! I said, "Hey! Watch it!" Gladiator guy just laughed and told me a decent woman would have slapped him. Ha ha ha. So anyways, here is a before and after picture:

Before he grabbed my butt:

After he grabbed my butt:

I hope you all enjoyed this evenings festivities!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Let's Just Get This Over And Done With

Last month started a season that comes around every so often. It brings with it new beginnings and a chance to start a new fresh part of your life. No, not Spring! Blah blah blah! Why would I blog about Spring? I'm talking about Wedding Season. I have already attended a reception, a wedding/reception, and a bridal shower so far this season. The two weeks after Valentine's Day, 5 people that I knew got engaged. Not just acquaintences, but people that I talk to on a regular basis. Now I know everything I'm about to say is going to come out sounding cynical and bitter, but I'm really not. I really am happy for my friends and family members who get married and I do want to be there as a witness of their special day, but each time the thought runs through my head, "Let's just get this over and done with already." I'm not talking about the wedding itself or even all the traditional festivities that go along with it. I'm talking about the part where people walk up to you and say things like, "You're next!", or "Sooooooo...how are things going? Anything...NEW????", or "We'll be doing this for you pretty soon.", or my favorite "I can't wait for YOU to get married." I'm not lying, it seriously makes me want to swing a shovel at their head...even if it's my closest family member. Instead I just give clipped one word answers and annoyed looks. I'm not sure if it has the same effect. But don't worry, I won't hit anyone with a shovel...they usually aren't available at weddings. Anyways, it's not that they are trying to be mean or anything. I know that. They do it out of love blah blah blah because they want me to be happy blah blah blah. So, just a word of advice for everyone, from the smug marrieds to the singletons, don't pester people about their relationship status. I mean, after I have just spilled my guts to you about how I bought a house, finished my master's degree, and took a trip to Forks, Washington, don't you think I would have mentioned my really hot super nice boyfriend if I had one? C'mon! Aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhh!

Okay, that's all. Loveyoubye. :)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


I just haven't felt like blogging. Don't hate me okay? And don't leave my blog for good. One day I'll have something truly remarkable to blog about and then you'll be sad you missed it.

Wow, I really think highly of myself don't I? Geesh!