Monday, September 28, 2009

Maybe...I Should Try This?

video

Please don't show this to PETA. Please don't hate me. Squirrels are evil. If you don't believe me, read my post from about a year ago... click here. You guys remember that? I do. And the stinking squirrels have already started bombing Millie and myself with pecans. I'm not lying. They don't just let them drop. They are thrown at us! There is a definite sound difference with the amount of force the pecans hit the deck with. Then Millie looks up at me with this look on her face like, "Holy crap! That was CLOSE!" It's ridiculous. Anyways, good idea? What do you think? My dad sent me this video...I have to give him credit. He's always got good ideas. He tried out for Jeopardy once...it's true.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A Day In The Life

So in my job as an elementary school librarian, I deal with two sets of people: students and teachers. Believe it or not, they both give me equal amounts of grief and laughs. Here is a sampling of what I dealt with today:

In our school, every classroom is fortunate enough to have a document camera and projector to use while teaching. It wasn't always so. It used to be that each grade level had one until last year when we got some newer ones, but of course, some teachers got left with the older ones. No one really complains about it. They're just grateful to have one. Well, except for one teacher. She was a sub at our school last year, and a new teacher this year and just so happened to end up with one of the old ones (which really isn't old, it's brand new...I took it straight out of the box). But since she was around last year, she knows about the new ones (which incidentally work exactly like the old ones...they do the EXACT same thing). So at the beginning of the year, I take everyone their Elmo (that's what the document cameras are called). Then a few days later, she comes to me and says,
"When am I gonna get an Elmo?"
"You have one. I put it in your classroom. It's on a cart..."
"Oh! That thing? I didn't even know what that was. I thought that since I'm new I get one of the new ones."
"Nope, sorry. The teacher that had that room last year had an old one, so you get an old one too."
"You mean I can't get an Elmo?"
"You have one. It does the exact same thing and works just as well. It just looks different."
And you can see how the rest of the conversation went: "I'm not gonna get a new one?" "No." etc...

Then a few months ago she claimed that she might need a new Elmo because the projector was overheating (it's brand spankin' new, I pulled the projector straight out of the box too). I went down to look at it and it worked just fine so I told her to call the HelpDesk and they could come fiddle with it.

Today she comes to tell me that some of the prongs are missing on a plug and all she really needs is a new Elmo (do you see the pattern here folks?). And then she goes on to tell me how she can't teach at all with that thing and how it is so confusing and frustrating and, "All I want is an Elmo!"
Once again..."You have an Elmo."
"Oh! Can you just come down and take a look at it for me? I can't even plug anything in...I just don't know what to do. There's cords everywhere..." blah blah blah.
So I'm thinking this cord problem is the cord that plugs into the Elmo and she tried to break it so she could get a new one. I tell her I have plenty of extra cords and I'll bring down a replacement.
I get down there and yep, there are cords everywhere! Everything is unplugged from the power strip, the power strip is unplugged from the cart, and the cord from the cart is unplugged from the wall.
I ask her what is wrong with the cord (as I'm looking at the one plugged into the Elmo) and she says, "Oh no, not that one. This one." And she shows me the cord from the cart...a three prong cord where the bottom prong has been broken off. Then she tells me how she wasn't sure if it would work if she plugged it into the wall and how she hasn't touched it for a week.

Seriously? How many times do I have to tell people! If something isn't working, check to make sure it's plugged in!!!!!! It's like twice a month I have to go down to someone's classroom and plug something in for them. Ugh!

So we plug everything back in (or really, I plug everything back in because all of those cords are really just too confusing for her) and guess what? It works just fine! But then she starts pushing all these buttons asking me "which one does this need to be on" and so on. I got it back to the right setting and told her to leave it there...we'll see if she does. I swear that woman is going to break everything on that cart, including the cart itself, just to get a document camera that looks like everyone else's.

How are people so technologically defunct that they can't figure out how to plug something into a power strip and then plug it in to the wall and therefore think it must be broken and they need a new one? I just don't get it....

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I Almost Died Tonight

Seriously. I almost had a heart attack. In fact, maybe I did have heart attack. I do tend to recover from illnesses quickly. Anyways, here's what happened:

On my way to bed, I decide to do a quick OCD facebook/email/blog check before going to sleep and when I walked into the office, there was this scratching noise. My first thought was that it was a mouse or a rat, that's how loud it was. Wrong! It was the world's biggest water roach crawling around on the giant pile of papers and junk I have yet to file away. So, naturally I screamed and ran for the bug spray (please note, I also grabbed the fly swatter...what I was going to do with the fly swatter, I have no idea because there is no way in H.E.double hockey sticks that I would EVER get that close to a giant oversized bug). Well, then it disappeared, but I could hear it...scratching and scratching...*shiver*

What happened after that I will skim over very quickly because it really was traumatizing:

It crawled across the floor, under the chair leg, up the bookcase, fell down, and ran under the desk where it FINALLY stopped and died.
Note: I sprayed it with probably a quarter of the bottle of bug spray...I mean, the carpet is still wet.
Another note: I could only scream and spray for a period of 30 seconds at a time and then I had to go out in the hall and hyperventilate and scream and cry.

Oh my gosh! Gasp! I just had an awful thought! Okay, you know when you half fall asleep and sometimes your mind dreams something but you are still half awake so you kind of think it's true? Like, sometimes I think that my friends are there and they are talking about me (not bad or anything) and I want to talk to them, but I can't make myself wake up and the more I try, the harder it is so I have to let myself completely relax and then jerk myself awake. And then of course I realize that no one is there and it was all in my head. Well, this morning, I was sleeping and I thought there was a bug crawling around in my hair. I mean, I could hear it buzzing and could feel it crawling on my head but I was so struck with fear that I couldn't move. Finally I jerked myself awake by flailing my arms at my head (I know, very amusing right?) but alas, there was no bug anywhere.

But what if it was this giant roach? I mean, they crawl pretty fast. And who knows how long it's been in the house? And...ok...I gotta stop. Why can't I ever have a normal experience with these things? Last time, one dropped from the ceiling while I was in the shower. Now it's crawling on my head in my sleep and making creepy scratching noises.

I hate roaches. I hate them with all the fiery passion of my heart! And I know they serve a purpose in the great plan of nature and decomposition and junk, but really, do they have to be so friggin' big? And their legs are so nasty and long! Ugh! Okay, I gotta stop. I'm done.

Monday, September 14, 2009

I Have Discovered...

...that for some reason I don't enjoy blogging as much as I used to...I don't know why, maybe it's just a phase.

...that many of the pictures I have from middle school through high school I only kept because they had boys that I had crushes on in them. Yes, I was kind of a stalker as a teenager. No, it never went beyond random out of focus pictures that I snapped quickly or that I got someone else to snap for me.

...my cat uses my giant purse as a bed more than I ever used it as a purse...I'm just not cut out for big bags, sorry, I'm a small purse kind of gal.

...my house will probably smell like old lady forever.

...someone must have been praying for me cause I got a helper today for my Sunbeams class...seriously, I felt this huge burden lifted off my shoulders.

...I frickin' heart Matt Kearney! No, he's not my boyfriend or anything (although that would be nice), he's a singer and I downloaded his newest CD and it's guuuuuuuud! It's so good that I stayed up way later than I should last night just so I could listen to it...again.

...I like riding bikes WAY better than I ever liked running.

...that I need to let go of a lot of little things that I like to make into big things and I need to focus on some more important things. Vague, I know...