Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


...I don't know when enough is enough.

So about a month ago, Torgerson got me (and a few of my friends) to read a new series of vampire books...stop laughing. The series is called Blue Bloods. It's a fun easy read but nowhere near as innocent as Twilight...nothing too terribly bad either though. Anyways, we read the first two in the series in September and the third was due to come out this actually. I only know this because...well...I'm CDO (OCD). I liked the books and all but I had decided it wasn't mandatory that I have the third book the minute it was put on the shelf or anything...I had decided to let one of my friends buy it, read it, and then I would borrow it. Sometimes I decide things and then change my mind...drastically.

As I was driving home today I thought, "You know, it would be the perfect evening if I had that book and could just snuggle down in bed and read all evening long." I decided to check Target because there were a few other things I needed to get there as well. Of course, they didn't have it. Drat! I had given up and was on my way home when I remembered that having that book would make my evening perfect so I asked Jack (my trusty GPS) where the nearest bookstore was. He said Waldenbooks in Plano by the mall (whatever mall that is off 75 and Plano Pkwy.) and that it was only 6 miles away. Perfect! 6 miles isn't that far. I got there and saw no Waldenbooks, so I figure it's in the mall. I also figure that since I came this far, I might as well go inside the mall and see if I can find it. Once I get inside I realize that not only is there no Waldenbooks inside the mall, the only bookstore is a Borders Express (it probably used to be looked just like it)...and that it's on the complete opposite end of the mall one floor up.

Now, any sane person would say enough is enough and just forget it and go home. But not me. I won't give up now that I have come this far even though it is obvious to me that I am going on a wild goose chase.

I trek it across the mall only to find a messy unorganized bookstore (grrrr...). After wandering aimlessly for a few minutes, the bookstore lady comes up and asks me if I need help. I always resent it when I get asked if I need help in a bookstore or library. I work in both of those places for crying out loud! I should know my way around. Anyways, I ask the lady about the book and she says, "We don't have that yet."

"It was supposed to come out today." I say...I'm CDO...I know my release dates on books!

"Yeah, I heard that rumor too but they didn't send us any today." she replies.

Okay! That's it! Enough is enough. Until I walk by Bath and Body Works and the smell pulls me in. If I can't spend $15 on a book then I definitely need to spend $60 in Bath and Body Works to justify my trip to the mall right?

If that's not enough, I realize that I need a GPS not only for driving directions but apparently for walking directions too. It's no secret that I often lose my car and have to revert to looking like an idiot in a huge parking lot as I walk around with a confused look while pressing the panic button on my clicker. I must have wandered around the mall parking lot like this for about 10-15 minutes before realizing that I came out the wrong doors and my car was actually parked on the other side of the mall.

So now I'm going to go lay on the couch under 5,729 blankets and watch TV. Good-bye.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I Hereby Solemnly Swear... talk no more of rats and roaches. I know it's really grossing people out...well, it's grossing me I'm done.

However, in case you didn't know, I went to the NKOTB concert last Sunday and let me just say that it was THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!

Just imagine being 12 years old and all of your dreams come true. That's what it felt like to be there at the concert. I don't know what you dreamed about when you were 12, but my obsession was NKOTB and a boy named Bryan Hantes (I can't believe I remembered his name...) that I had a stalker-ish crush on. Hmmm...come to think of it I was really really obsessed with him. I'm not going to go into the details because I really don't think anyone cares how weird I was at 12 years old, but lets just say I scare me.

Anyways, back to NKOTB...I took some videos but they are all too big of a file to post here. Maybe if someone would be kind enough to enlighten me on how to get a video bigger than 100 MB to post, I would post them for you. They aren't great quality by any means but they do make me smile. :) So instead of videos, you'll have to make do with my written memories...

I screamed so much that my chest hurt like it does right before you get sick.

It finally hit me that I was seeing NKOTB again when they started Please Don't Go Girl and then I turned into a 12 year old and started screaming and jumping up and down. It was beautiful.

I felt a little weird doing the hand wave for Hangin' Tough because if you looked out over the audience it was like in the movies when crowds of people did the whole "Heil Hitler" salute.

I couldn't stop screaming. What was it that made me scream? I have no idea. Especially when Donnie went out on stage and just stood there...we went nuts...completely nuts...and all he did was stand there.

I was sadly disappointed when Donnie sang Covergirl. He always would choose a little girl from the audience, pull her up on stage and then sing that song to her. This time he had these *ahem* "dancers" with him on stage and it just made my stomach turn a little. I still screamed and sang along though.

When I got there I kind of wanted to kick myself for not forking out the extra who knows how much money to sit as close to the stage as I could. If I had it to do over again, I probably would have paid an obscene amount of money to be close as I could get. That's dumb huh? Yeah, it is but I would have done it.

And last, I know that I thought they were "oh so fine" when I was 12 and 13 and even a little of 14 years old, but I am here to say that those boys turned into some very very very good looking men. Holy. Freaking. Cow.

Okay, and here is one obsession about my 7th grade crush Bryan Hantes that I will share with you so you know I am serious when I say that I was weird. I knew what kind of car his parents drove because I would watch to see when he got dropped off in the morning for school. I would then spend every minute I was in the car or on the bus looking at every car that passed by to see if it was his. I also knew his schedule (which I figured out by sheer observation), and all of the different shirts he wore and I would keep track of them and make predictions to myself each day on what I thought he would be wearing. Oh! And here's one more thing you don't care to know...I had his old science know how you used to have to write your name in the front cover of the book (I don't know if they still do that or not), well...I thought it was surely a sign that we were meant for each other when I saw his name written by his own hand in the book that was issued to me.

And just so you know, I never spoke one word to him...ever.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

1, 2, 3, 4, I Declare A Rodent War!

Yes folks, that is what it has come to here on Maple Drive...war! You have already heard the story about Peter the Possum and how he was scared off with the stealth tactics of our resident human. He has never been seen again, but today I am here to tell you that the War Against Rodents is still raging. We are gaining ground on Manny the Squirrel and today we have won the battle with Ronnie the Rat. I will begin tonight's briefing with the evidence against Manny the Squirrel and then move on to the more serious crimes of Ronnie the Rat.

Okay, here we have Manny the Squirrel. Notice how his mouth is half open and his stance suggests that he is ready to pounce. He's not after the humans...he's after the White Fluffy...the cat that is twice his size and completely oblivious to his existence even though he is chattering constantly at her.

Manny has made his presence widely known in the The Backyard by doing the following:

Eating every pecan in the tree and spitting the shells on the deck in little bits for three days straight. Our resident human swept them up faithfully each day as is evidenced by the pile off to the side but Manny was insistent that he get ALL of the pecans and did not give up until he had successfully stowed them at undisclosed locations for the upcoming winter.

Taking some of the afore mentioned pecans and "hiding" them in the potted plants on the deck.

Bravely coming down from the tree in broad daylight.

Turning and seeing White Fluffy.

And realizing White Fluffy is behind a glass door and no longer poses a threat to him.

I am sorry to say that Ronnie the Rat is not as cute as Manny. He's much more brave and bold when it comes to meeting White Fluffy but has successfully evaded our resident human...until today. I have graciously posted no photographic evidence of Ronnie, but we do have a first hand account from a very reliable source:

"Well, I didn't know Ronnie was hanging around the house...I didn't even know he existed until one day I went to feed the cat and when I picked up the bag of food, cat food started falling out the bottom. Something had chewed a hole in the bottom of the bag...I knew right away it was a mouse (I found out later it was something MUCH worse!). I didn't want to believe it was true. I tried to think of a million other things it could be, but it didn't work. About a week later I was in bed and the cat was in bed with me when I heard something digging around in her food dish. The very next night I heard the ripping of paper coming from the kitchen. The brand new bag of cat food! I left it sitting on the floor! I tried to sneak up on what I thought was a mouse but it was too fast and it got away before I could get a glimpse of it. I knew I had to face my problem head on and call Terminator the Exterminator to get rid of it once and for all. Terminator came out today and set a trap in Ronnie's favorite closet (the hot water heater closet). When I got home 6 hours later, I took a peek inside the closet and there was Ronnie with his...head...stuck...I can't talk about it anymore...I'm probably going to have nightmares for a week!"

And there you have it folks...the war rages on but we will be victorious!

*Please do not be concerned for our resident human. We will be sending Terminator the Exterminator out tomorrow on a Priority 1 mission to dispose of Ronnie's dead carcass.*

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

There Is Nothing Wrong With You

Before you say, "Yeah right." Just hear me out...

As a single person, over the years I have heard my friends say things such as:

"What's wrong with me? Why don't guys/girls like me?"
"I don't know what is wrong with those guys/girls in your ward."
"There's a reason why so-and-so isn't married..."

And then my absolute favorite:

"I don't understand why you're not married."...which we'll get to later.

Now let me just tell you this:


Trust me, I've tried to figure it out and I've tried to fix everything...EVERYTHING, and nothing works. You know why? Because nothing is broken. I have thought that if I was:

more athletic
more politically minded
a good rollerblader (yeah, I really thought that once)
good at sports
better at managing money
less worried
more worried
less paranoid
more paranoid
more grown-up
more childlike
more churchy
even less churchy

...that he would find me more interesting, and the truth is, even though I tried to be all of those things at one time or another, it never worked. I even tried repenting once. Yes, I repented for still being single...guess what? That didn't work either...cause I didn't do anything wrong.

On the reverse side, it drives me nuts when people mutter, "What is wrong with guys these days?" Uh, just because they are not all beating down my door with marraige proposals doesn't mean that there is something wrong with all of them. I would think it highly weird if all the guys I knew were constantly trying to date me. Plus, I would loose a whole lotta friends. You can't blame an entire gender just because the one or two that you like doesn't like you back. Remember that we get to choose, and you are not always the right choice for someone else nor are they always the right choice for you.

Okay, next point: "I don't understand why you're not married." Really? Cause guess what? Neither do I. I'm not actually doing anything that would keep me from being in a relationship with someone...I'm not doing anything wrong either. The only thing I can figure out is that it's not my time yet. It's just not my turn. Heavenly Father has an order and a reason for everything and he hasn't forgotten about all of us, he's just gettin' things ready.

Sometimes I feel like that whiny kid that wants a reason for everything you ask him/her to do. You know, the one that you just get so fed up with and then turn around and yell at them, "Because I told you to!" Yeah, that's me...the whiny kid. But HF never yells at me...ever.

Now, before you go off thinking, "Whatever, you have no idea what I'm going through." or "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before." or "You don't have any room to be talkin'." Yes, I do. I have football fields of room in the boat that I was in with loads of other people who all got out one by one and went off to snag boyfriends, get married, and have babies. I'm not married. I ain't got no babies. There's nobody in my life to reassure me that I'm beautiful, smart, funny, blah, blah, blah. And I'm freakin' bailing water out of that boat with a teacup every day. So there.

So, who will you listen to?

Satan: "Hmmm...sorry. You just aren't good enough to make the Married's Team. :( Maybe next year, honey."


Heavenly Father: "I'm working on it...this is going to be so good! You are going to love it...I promise!"

Monday, October 13, 2008

Be Original People!!!!

I learned today that yet another children's book (one of my favs) is being made into a movie. It irks me when this is done because then kids (and adults too) decide not to read the book because they'll just wait for the movie. Or they have seen the movie so they think reading the book is a not necessary.


Now, I realize that kids (and grown-ups too) get excited about a book they have read being made into a movie and it is very cool to see your favorite characters come to life on the big screen but seriously...can't the movie people be a little bit more original? Give us something new to think about. We already know the story of Harry Potter...and Horton Hears A Who...and The City of Ember...and Bridge To Terebithia...and Spiderwick Chronicles...and A Series of Unfortunate Events...and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...and The Chronicles of Narnia...and the list goes on and on. I'd say about 90% of children's movies these days are movies made from books. If authors can think of new stories to write, screenwriters can surely think of some too. I'm just sayin'.

See, when you take a really good book and you make it into a movie, kids no longer pick up the book and actually read to find out what will happen next. They know already and you have taken that magic away from them. They may pick it up and read it anyways because they love the story but 9 times out of 10, they just thumb through it and read over their favorite parts.

It just makes me sad. And now one of my favorites is going to be made into a movie and it's one that I have just discovered and am getting the kids excited about. *sigh*

Here it is:

Due to come out in October 2009...yay.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

It Is What It Is...

So for the past week I haven't written anything not because I haven't had anything to write about, (because there has been plenty...Manny the Squirrel, Macaroni and Cheese from 2001, a backpack eating kindergartener, Shia Le BUFF, etc.) but I just haven't felt like writing it. I read two very short verse novels this weekend, and that's all I can think in...verse. That happens to me a lot. When I read something that has lots of voice, I tend to write like that. So here goes a page out of the Book of Rhia in verse:

I wish I could sleep

Then maybe
I could manage
to convince myself
that getting up
in the morning
is a good thing.


I know.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I Have A Case of the Wednesdays

I don't know what that means exactly but I think it is similar to having a case of the Mondays except that it happens on Wednesday. And chances are that if it happens on a Wednesday, it also happened on Tuesday and on Monday. In case you are wondering why I feel this way, I can't answer that for you...I just do. Oh, that and the fact that my cat woke me up this morning at 8:17am. Yes, I am supposed to be at school at 7:45am and school starts at 8:00am.

The Dumbest Saying Ever

You can't have your cake and eat it too.
If you have the cake, it is yours and you should be able to do with it what you want, such as eat it. If you don't want to eat the cake, why do you have it? Give it to me and I'll eat it...assuming it's a cake that I like.

If you don't have the cake, how can you eat it? It's not there. You'll have to eat something else. If someone else has the cake, they may or may not choose to share it with you. If they do, then that part of the cake is yours and you can eat it. That's why they gave it to you. If not, then once again you'll have to eat something else...or jealously stand by and watch them eat the cake. I suppose that is an option too.

I guess the moral is that if you have cake, you better eat it before someone else comes along and finishes it off for you.