I Almost Died Tonight

Seriously. I almost had a heart attack. In fact, maybe I did have heart attack. I do tend to recover from illnesses quickly. Anyways, here's what happened:

On my way to bed, I decide to do a quick OCD facebook/email/blog check before going to sleep and when I walked into the office, there was this scratching noise. My first thought was that it was a mouse or a rat, that's how loud it was. Wrong! It was the world's biggest water roach crawling around on the giant pile of papers and junk I have yet to file away. So, naturally I screamed and ran for the bug spray (please note, I also grabbed the fly swatter...what I was going to do with the fly swatter, I have no idea because there is no way in H.E.double hockey sticks that I would EVER get that close to a giant oversized bug). Well, then it disappeared, but I could hear it...scratching and scratching...*shiver*

What happened after that I will skim over very quickly because it really was traumatizing:

It crawled across the floor, under the chair leg, up the bookcase, fell down, and ran under the desk where it FINALLY stopped and died.
Note: I sprayed it with probably a quarter of the bottle of bug spray...I mean, the carpet is still wet.
Another note: I could only scream and spray for a period of 30 seconds at a time and then I had to go out in the hall and hyperventilate and scream and cry.

Oh my gosh! Gasp! I just had an awful thought! Okay, you know when you half fall asleep and sometimes your mind dreams something but you are still half awake so you kind of think it's true? Like, sometimes I think that my friends are there and they are talking about me (not bad or anything) and I want to talk to them, but I can't make myself wake up and the more I try, the harder it is so I have to let myself completely relax and then jerk myself awake. And then of course I realize that no one is there and it was all in my head. Well, this morning, I was sleeping and I thought there was a bug crawling around in my hair. I mean, I could hear it buzzing and could feel it crawling on my head but I was so struck with fear that I couldn't move. Finally I jerked myself awake by flailing my arms at my head (I know, very amusing right?) but alas, there was no bug anywhere.

But what if it was this giant roach? I mean, they crawl pretty fast. And who knows how long it's been in the house? And...ok...I gotta stop. Why can't I ever have a normal experience with these things? Last time, one dropped from the ceiling while I was in the shower. Now it's crawling on my head in my sleep and making creepy scratching noises.

I hate roaches. I hate them with all the fiery passion of my heart! And I know they serve a purpose in the great plan of nature and decomposition and junk, but really, do they have to be so friggin' big? And their legs are so nasty and long! Ugh! Okay, I gotta stop. I'm done.

I Really Hate It When...

...you are standing there at Home Depot in front of a shelf of hard to reach 60 lb. bags of cement and there are two grown men standing 5 ft. away from you who don't offer to help until they see you about to fall over under the weight of something that weighs half as much as you. "No, I don't need your help...anymore, I've got it...thanks."

Do You Ever Get That Feeling?

Okay, so most of you know that I had been talking to an old friend of mine that I had thought was going to be more than just a friend. In the end it turned out that he got really "busy" all of a sudden and didn't have the time to talk to me anymore and I was just left wondering... That is another story for another day though. Here's the thing. He lives in Missouri and was going to come visit in July and had purchased tickets for us to go see Coldplay. And yes, you can just guess...nothing...nada...zilch. Do I feel pathetic? Yes. Everyone has their own reasons why they think he didn't come, but again, that is another blog entirely. So the point is, it didn't happen.

Do you ever get that feeling like you were supposed to get to do something that you didn't get to? For instance, here, Coldplay. I was really excited about going. I was really looking forward to it. But it didn't happen. It's something close to regret but it's not regret entirely...what is it? Ugh! It's driving me nuts!

So I woke up tonight from this dream...I was going to the Coldplay concert with some friends and I had two tickets reserved but when I got there I found out they weren't reserved for me and had been sold to someone else. I was so disappointed (is that the feeling? just plain disappointment?) that I had to wait outside the stadium (or wherever) for my friends. Then after the concert, everyone comes out telling me how great it was and that I should have stuck around because they were letting people in for $1.50. They had tried to call me to tell me but I left my phone in the car and was too busy pouting that I didn't get to go. And I missed it...

(insert giant pouty/sad/mad face here...and I mean GIANT!)

So now I have this regretful/disappointed/I missed out on something truly great feeling that I can't get rid of. And I hate it. Hmmm....maybe this is HF trying to tell me something. Like if I don't stop missing someone who obviously doesn't miss me, I am going to miss out on something truly great...I'll let you know how that turns out...

But I really really really really wanted to go see Coldplay! Grrrrr.......

Things I Really Really Really Can't Stand

1. Forward chain letters/e-mails. "If you don't send this out to 5,000 of your closest friends immediately, you will be hit by a bus tomorrow!" I just want to say thank you to the person who sent it to me because they obviously are wishing that I get hit by a bus...love you too!

2. Being ignored. I don't ask for attention all the time. Usually I'm pretty quiet. But there are certain people that I just want to scream at, "Hello!! I'm right here!"

3. Going to Wal-Mart on the weekends. It never fails that the ginormous lady who can't stand on her own without the support of the cart is always standing in front of something I need. And when I say "Excuse me", she looks at me like I just asked her to move the entire store by blinking.

4. Staring. Didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to stare? Mrs. N. has taken over my library with flower arrangements for this special A-Honor Roll breakfast we are having this week. That's fine. I have no problem with that since I am testing (the best never rest right?) this week. But when I walk into the library, why do you have to just stare at me like I don't have permission to be in there? Don't stare at me...I don't like it.

5. When teachers bring their class in the library and then get on to them because they are taking too much time. My favorite is when they say things like, "Hurry up! We've got more important things to do!". Thaaaaaaaaaaanks....so much.

6. The gripey one: You know, that one person you work with that just HAS to gripe about everything. You duck or hide or suddently get real busy when you see her coming. She says to me today, "Who paid for all these flower arrangements?! It better not be from the &%@# school budget cause I'm out of paper and they won't get me anymore!"


*sigh*..........I'm just cranky today cause I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Booo!!!!

Honey, You Are Dilluded

I'm talking about the crazy lady who decided that being a 33 year-old single mom with 6 kids wasn't quite cutting it when it came to her dream of being a mother. She denies she's being selfish. Really?

She said, "I know I'll be able to afford them when I'm done with my schooling." Oh, right. And what is she going to school for? To be a counselor. THAT makes a lot of money. And don't you worry, you'll have PLENTY of time to spend with your 14 kids, 8 of which have a high chance of having some sort of special need. If you wanted to finish your schooling, why couldn't you wait to have them until you were done?

The Today show reported that she holds each infant for 45 minutes each day. Let's see, 8 x 45= 360, and if you sleep 8 hours a day (which is about 4 times as much sleep as new mothers with one child get), that leaves a little over 10 hours left in the day...roughly. *insert sarcastic voice here* Yes, 45 minutes a day is more than enough time to hold your babies...once a day.

She said, "All I wanted was children. I wanted to be a mom. That's all I ever wanted in my life. I love my children." Hey, I'm not doubting that she loves her children. I just find it odd that in her response to accusations of selfishness, she declares what SHE wants...three times.

She said, "That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, and I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up." Who cares about how neglected those babies are going to feel growing up as long as YOU have the connections you feel you need.

And then, don't even get me started on this quote I came across today:

"I've got two daughters. 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby." - Barack Obama

Heaven forbid your daughters will have to receive punishment if they make a mistake. And punished with a baby? Wouldn't you feel just great if you knew that you were your mother's punishment?

Grrrrr.......

Be Original People!!!!

I learned today that yet another children's book (one of my favs) is being made into a movie. It irks me when this is done because then kids (and adults too) decide not to read the book because they'll just wait for the movie. Or they have seen the movie so they think reading the book is a not necessary.

GRRRRRRRRRR........

Now, I realize that kids (and grown-ups too) get excited about a book they have read being made into a movie and it is very cool to see your favorite characters come to life on the big screen but seriously...can't the movie people be a little bit more original? Give us something new to think about. We already know the story of Harry Potter...and Horton Hears A Who...and The City of Ember...and Bridge To Terebithia...and Spiderwick Chronicles...and A Series of Unfortunate Events...and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...and The Chronicles of Narnia...and the list goes on and on. I'd say about 90% of children's movies these days are movies made from books. If authors can think of new stories to write, screenwriters can surely think of some too. I'm just sayin'.

See, when you take a really good book and you make it into a movie, kids no longer pick up the book and actually read to find out what will happen next. They know already and you have taken that magic away from them. They may pick it up and read it anyways because they love the story but 9 times out of 10, they just thumb through it and read over their favorite parts.

It just makes me sad. And now one of my favorites is going to be made into a movie and it's one that I have just discovered and am getting the kids excited about. *sigh*

Here it is:

Due to come out in October 2009...yay.

Oh How I Love My Yard!

Thanks to my BFF Janette who had her baby shower today, I had a good reason to take the day off and not go in to work at the bookstore like I normally do on Saturdays. Thanks again to my BFF for not dragging it out to an all day occasion and thus I was home by 2:00 and had the rest of the day to myself. So what did I do? My new favorite thing...yard work. For those of you with yards, you may think I am joking but I'm not. I really love being in my yard. So I spent 5 hours today pulling weeds and baby pecan trees and trimming hedges and raking leaves and mowing and all that good stuff. Needless to say, my arms are killing me...killing me. I did buy some good gloves so I am blister free :)

Anyways, I rewarded myself this evening by watching two movies and about an hour ago when I decided it was time to turn in for the night, I looked out my back door and thought I saw something move out there. So I went over and turned on the porch light and what do I see? A possum. Just sitting there blinded by the light. A POSSUM!!! What was I to do? How was I to proceed? I had to get him off my porch so I pounded on the door in the hopes that I would startle him. Nope. He just sat there completely unfazed. I couldn't go out there. Those things are mean. So I opened the door a crack, stuck my nose out and yelled "Go away!" real quick and then slammed the door shut. He turned a fraction in my direction. Seriously! These things aren't afraid of anything! So I did it again and what does the stupid thing do? It crawls down the space where the tree comes out of the deck. So now I have a possum that lives under my deck. What on earth am I supposed to do now? The way I see it I have three options and I don't like any of them:

Option 1: Poison it. If I do this, it will eat the poison, go under the deck, die, and then stink, therefore making this not an option.

Option 2: Set a trap. If I do this, it will get caught in the trap and die...hopefully. If it doesn't die, it will crawl back under the deck and die of injuries. If it does die in the trap, then I have to dispose of it therefore making this not an option.

Option 3: Just let it be. If I do this, there will always be a possum under my deck and then it will have little possum babies that will always live under my deck too therefore making this not an option.

Why can't it live in someone else's yard? The people that live behind me have this huge shed and lots of junk in their yard that the possum can hide under. I'm sure there are lots of backyards with lots of dark hiding places. Why did it choose my yard? *shudder* What am I going to do?

A Letter To Corporate America

Dear Corporate America,

I hate you.

Sincerely,
Rhia