Sunday, August 10, 2008

An Awkward Sunday

Yes folks, that was what today awkward Sunday. It all started when I had my interview in order to get a new temple recommend. We'll call this man Bro. P. (who is a very nice man and I am in now way trying make him look bad nor do I think badly of him...I laughed a lot at the things he said and I hope you do too). Anyways, so Bro. P. sat down with me and was asking me the typical get-to-know-you questions and our conversation went something like this:

Bro. P.: What ward are you in?

Me: Garland 4th

Bro. P.: Are you single?

Me: Yes.

Bro. P.: Why don't you go to the singles ward?

Me: I did until I turned 31.

Bro. P.: Oh, I didn't think you were a day over 25.

Me: :)

Bro. P.: You don't do anything with the older singles I presume?

Me: No...

Bro. P.: Well, I'm not going to tell you that you should because most of those people are in their 50s and it would be nothing but older men hitting on you and that wouldn't be good.

Me: Thank you.

Bro. P.: I know there is a group between 30 and 40 that get together and do things, do you ever do anything with them?

Me: No.

Bro. P.: There's a single guy that I know from another ward who is around your age...

Me: Are you talking about D.B.? (I am only going to refer to this guy as D, but I'm sure if you think hard enough, you might be able to figure out who it is...if not, ask me in person and I'll tell you)

Bro. P. (as his face lights up): You know him?

Me: Yes, D and I have been friends for a really long time. I've known him since he got home from his mission.

Bro. P.: Marry him.


Me: Uh....I don't want to marry D. We're just friends. I am not interested in him that way and besides, he's not the right guy for me.

Bro. P.: Well, okay. But don't wait around for Mr. Perfect. Find someone who is right for you but they won't be perfect.

Me in my head: Like I haven't heard that before! I'm 31 for crying out loud. You think this is the first time anyone has ever given me that advice?

Me in real life: Yes, I know :)

Okay, enough of awkward Sunday part 1. Let's now move on to part 2...

I get to church and am sitting on my favorite pew...the back pew. A man and his wife sit down next to me and introduce themselves. They are very nice and then the brother asks me if I am here alone or if there are other people with me. I tell him no, I'm alone and then he says "Awwwww!!! (like I just told him that my puppy died) That's terrible! We'll find someone for you!"


Then there were just a myriad of hymns today at church that were all at least two octaves higher than anyone could sing so we (well, them cause I didn't sing) sounded extremely pathetic whilst singing...

It was just one of those days.


Erika said...

Now you know why the Ensign always has at least one article on singles--some people think we're a strange breed and don't know how to deal with us. If only there was a polite way to say, "we're people just like you; treat us as you would anybody." :-) I guess we'll learn patience if nothing else!

Matthew said...

I think you should refer them to a really good blog a friend of mine wrote. She called it "What a Girl Wants":

(Yes, I did go to the trouble of looking it up :P )

Maybe next Sunday will be better. You already know about part of mine. Did I mention I got to sit up at the lonely secretary table and record the minutes of sacrament meeting and then walk around counting people? Yeah, that guy wasn't there and somehow I got stuck with the job while Emily tried to wrangle the baby. Who kept wanting to run up and see me.

Alison said...

Well, Rhia, if you already know D.B. and you're both single in your 30's you're obviously the perfect match. He's right: Marry Him! The romance will come in time.

This conversation reminds me a little of someone finding out you're single and Mormon and then saying, "Oh, I know a Mormon guy! His name is Tyler. Do you know him? You should totally hook up." Because you're both single and Mormon. Riiiight. It's definitely going to be an insant love connection if we're both single and LDS! Genius! Why didn't I think of that before?

K2 said...

This conversation rubs me the wrong way on lots of levels. Both of them. But you said you laughed so I won't be too miffed on your behalf.
Why do people equate singleness with something that is wrong with you, with other people etc? NOTHING is wrong with you and while you might not be looking for a perfect guy you need someone perfect for you. You can't just "prostitute" yourself so you can catch a husband. The Lord doesn't expect that from any of us.
And to go to the singles activities if you don't want to is a complete waste of time. Because you won't have fun and you won't want to talk to people.
I should write a blog on this..maybe I will.
I think you are awesome! So glad that we met through Emily!

Emily Anne said...

I love the couple sitting next to you thinking it was cute you were single. Why do people feel the need to pry into others private lives? If I wanted help finding someone, I would ask. I never looked for someone to tell me what to do when I was single, and I won't tell any of my friends what to do. However, when you get married, you must have babies right away because I need someone elses children to call me Aunty Em. We all know that Matt's sisters are not going to produce babies soon and I have baby fever :)

Em's end said...

I'm sure Bro P had nothing but the best intentions in mind with his marriage advise for you, but I do hope you will take it with "a grain of salt." Speaking from experience, and speaking as a person who cares deeply about your future happiness, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT settle for marrying someone who is "okay" or "right" instead of "perfect." Remember, what you settle for is what you will get. Spending the rest of your life with someone who is "okay" will be just that, "okay." It won't be wonderful, terrific, or wow, just "okay." You, my dearest, are better than just "okay." You, and yes, I'm biased, are "perfect." And even if you weren't "perfec,t" why should you settle for anything less? I mean, what IS the objective here? Is is just to be married? If so, anyone would do. Or is it to find that one special person who completes your life, makes your world whole, loves you more than anyone else ever could (except your mother), and who you love more than anyone else (except your mother.) I ask you, which would you rather have? Don't settle for "okay." And don't settle for being single forever because it's hard to find that perfect person. If you can't find him in all the places you've looked so far, then get out there and look in the place where you HAVEN'T looked. He's there. You'll find him. And the longer you wait to find him, the more you will, in future, be scolding yourself for all the time with him that you lost because you WEREN'T looking hard enough. Get out there and find him. It may be a tough task, but it's well worth the effort. And as your mother would say, don't settle for anyting less than the perfect best!