This is me being a...well...you know...you'll figure it out

This past weekend my friend Aibi and I went to the movies to see Scott Pilgrim (which is a very ingenius, original, not based off a book kind of movie...I liked it). Being the good movie conesuers that we are, we get there about 30 minutes early and find a spot at the coveted top row. After being there for about 15 minutes, this guy comes up and asks us if we wouldn't mind scooting over one seat. I do not like it when people ask me to move over one seat for friends that are not there, especially when there are other two seat spots in the theater, but Aibi is nice and she just moves to the other side of me. No big deal. Whatever.

About 10 minutes go by and it is now 5 minutes till the movie starts and this guy's friend finally shows up. Then she proceeds to tell him in a voice loud enough that half the theater can hear her, "We're sitting over there (and points to the other side of the theater, top row). I feel bad, like I should sit with her because she bought my ticket. I really hope you didn't ask anyone to move because you were saving a seat for me." He mumbles something (I'm not really paying attention) and she walks off.

Then she proceeds to start at the opposite end of our top row and asks people to move over one seat so she, her boyfriend, and this other girl, can all sit together. As she gets closer to us, Aibi realizes what she's doing and turns to look at me and I tell her very matter of factly, "I don't care what she's doing, if she asks us to move, I'm gonna say no." And then the following conversation ensues...

Girl: Hi, would you guys mind moving down one...

Me: No. We're not moving.

Girl: Oh, but if you could just move down one seat then..

Me: No. We're not moving. We've already moved down one seat for you guys, we're not moving again.

Girl: But it's just one seat.

Me: I don't care. We're not moving. This is where we are sitting and we are going to stay here.

Girl: (looooooooooooooooong pause) Seriously?

Me: Yeah, seriously. We're not moving.

Girl: (stands in front of us for about 30 seconds fuming. I couldn't see her face cause it was kind of dark, but I'd bet you anything she was fuming.) Fine!

Then she takes 3 steps to the guy that had asked us to move in the first place and says, "I don't care what you do, but I'm not sitting next to her!" as she points her finger at me, and then storms off down to the 4th from the bottom row and sits down. About 15 seconds after she storms off, her boyfriend goes down and joins her.

Now I feel that I should explain my reasons for refusing to move, because I do have them and no, it isn't just because I really really liked the exact seat I was sitting in.

Reason #1: I didn't like the way she talked to her boyfriend who was nice enough to find her a good spot in the theater. I mean, who snaps at their boyfriend for asking someone to move so he can save you a spot?

Reason #2: I didn't like that she was asking the entire back row to move over one seat. The entire row!!!! It just irked me.

Reason #3: Obviously there were other seats in the theater where they could sit together because they found them pretty quick.

And that's all. I'm sure I could have been nice and gone ahead and moved down. It wouldn't have hurt anything but I just couldn't bring myself to give in and let this girl have her way.

And that's all I have to say about that.

And the Saga Continues...

Ok well, this isn't really a saga, but you know how I wrote a few months ago about that teacher that kept pestering me about getting a new document camera that we so affectionately call an "Elmo"? Yeah...so the following is a true story...

We got four new ones in and the computer tech (we'll call her Mrs. B) told me who all they go to. (I know you are thinking to yourself, "Why is the computer tech telling the librarian who to take the tech carts to?" That is another boring story in and of itself.) Anyways, so inevitably, this teacher, the persistent annoying one, Mrs. A is supposed to get one, as well as a few other teachers. I decided to deliver Mrs. A's new document camera/projector cart last cause I was really hoping she would be gone and I could just leave it in her room. She wasn't. She was there...talking with another teacher. I open up her door and say, "Hey, I have your new projector and stuff.", and start coming in.

Mrs. A jumps up and says, "What? Me? Are you serious? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
Me: Yep
Mrs. A continues to jump...and run...and jump all over the room. "Oh my gosh! It's a Christmas miracle! Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! Oh my kids are gonna be so excited! Oh I'm so excited! It's Christmas! Santa came ya'll!" Mind you, she is literally jumping and hopping all over the place this whole time and she just keeps repeating all this stuff over and over and over again.
Then she does a superman dive onto a row of student desks and proceeds to roll over shaking and kicking her legs.
By this time I have made it past her into the room and really just want to get the old cart out of there as well as myself but I can't stop watching her act like someone who just won the Showcase Showdown on The Price Is Right...neither can the other teacher. We're just staring at her and I feel the whole time like her excitement should be contagious or something and I try to smile, really I do but the whole thing just makes me uncomfortable and I just want to escape and leave.
So I'm standing on the other side of the room trying to clean her stuff off the old cart so I can get the you know what out of there and she comes over to help and I end up getting hugged. Well then I feel even more uncomfortable because you should feel happy when someone hugs you, but I just got more annoyed. I mean, this whole idea of her getting new stuff wasn't mine. So I told her, "Uh...this wasn't my doing you know. You really need to thank Mrs. B. It was all her. Thank HER."
"Oh I will! Oh, I'm just so happy! When my kids come in tomorrow morning, I'm gonna say, 'Look you guys! Santa is real! He came!' And if you guys hear screams and hollers comin' down the hall, you know it's comin' from them!"
Right...your students could care less. Because this machine does the EXACT SAME JOB as the old one did. They aren't going to scream and holler. The only reason a kid would scream and holler would be because THEY got something and if they got a document camera and projector, they definitely wouldn't scream. If they got a Wii or an X-Box, they might scream. But they don't care about new educational materials.
Ok...rant over. She got her new stuff just like she wanted. She better treat it like it was her first born child...I'm just sayin'.

Not One Of My Better Ideas

Well, as you all know, I love my blog...I love it even more when people read it. And the more people that read it, the more I love it. So I thought it would be a good idea to import my blog onto facebook as a note. That way, it's like one stop shopping. Sounds like a good idea right? Wrong! At least, wrong for me anyways. Some of my fb friends just don't get it. They don't get my humor and/or sarcasm and/or whininess that comes out on my blog posts because I haven't talked to them in...well...years. And let's face it, some people just don't get it period. For instance, in the post previous to this one, I wrote about my experience at Home Depot yesterday to which one of my fb friends replied:

"The women's lib movement caused this and other occurances like this. Plus did you ask them for help?"

Well, this comment irked me, so I replied:

"Ummm...I wasn't a part of the women's lib movement thanks. Nor do I think that people not being courteous to other people was caused by women wanting to be treated as people and not accessories. My problem wasn't that they didn't offer to help, it was that they stood there and waited until I didn't need it anymore to offer. It could have been a woman and I would have felt the same way."

Maybe I should have been a little nicer, but...well...I really don't care about what this person thinks of me.

Okay, and speaking of which, where have all the fun people on fb gone? I am completely bored by all the status updates about really sweet husbands and family trips and babies and how tired so and so is or what they ate for lunch...etc... Not that I don't care about all that stuff, but can't we be a little more creative? Facebook used to be fun...now it's just mundane.

I think I'm a little grumpy...maybe I should go take a nap...or read my scriptures...or something.

P.S. I have removed my blog from importing into my notes on fb...sorry, no more one stop shopping people! :(

This is what it's like for me...

to watch a perfectly good book made into a movie.



Okay, let me explain. Everyone has seen The Never Ending Story. (If you haven't then I do not suggest you watch it as an adult for the first time because you'll just think it is stupid. You have to watch it with childish innocence to grasp the wonderfulness of it. Sorry, you just missed out...sucks to be you.) Okay, so everyone has seen this movie. You just watched a 6 minute rendition of all the events with none of the feeling or emotion behind them. If someone doesn't know the story already, and they see that, they are only more confused. If someone does know the story, they watch this and then laugh because it is cheesy and well, funny. This is how I felt after watching Twilight (just as an example). Catherine Hardwick, I felt like you took all the story out of Twilight and just showed me cheesy clips of the highlights. There I said it. And even though C.H. isn't directing New Moon, she set the precedent and it's going to be just as bad. But I will still go see it cause there are hot...hawt werewolves in it.

Do You Ever Get That Feeling?

Okay, so most of you know that I had been talking to an old friend of mine that I had thought was going to be more than just a friend. In the end it turned out that he got really "busy" all of a sudden and didn't have the time to talk to me anymore and I was just left wondering... That is another story for another day though. Here's the thing. He lives in Missouri and was going to come visit in July and had purchased tickets for us to go see Coldplay. And yes, you can just guess...nothing...nada...zilch. Do I feel pathetic? Yes. Everyone has their own reasons why they think he didn't come, but again, that is another blog entirely. So the point is, it didn't happen.

Do you ever get that feeling like you were supposed to get to do something that you didn't get to? For instance, here, Coldplay. I was really excited about going. I was really looking forward to it. But it didn't happen. It's something close to regret but it's not regret entirely...what is it? Ugh! It's driving me nuts!

So I woke up tonight from this dream...I was going to the Coldplay concert with some friends and I had two tickets reserved but when I got there I found out they weren't reserved for me and had been sold to someone else. I was so disappointed (is that the feeling? just plain disappointment?) that I had to wait outside the stadium (or wherever) for my friends. Then after the concert, everyone comes out telling me how great it was and that I should have stuck around because they were letting people in for $1.50. They had tried to call me to tell me but I left my phone in the car and was too busy pouting that I didn't get to go. And I missed it...

(insert giant pouty/sad/mad face here...and I mean GIANT!)

So now I have this regretful/disappointed/I missed out on something truly great feeling that I can't get rid of. And I hate it. Hmmm....maybe this is HF trying to tell me something. Like if I don't stop missing someone who obviously doesn't miss me, I am going to miss out on something truly great...I'll let you know how that turns out...

But I really really really really wanted to go see Coldplay! Grrrrr.......

How To Inflict Pain On Yourself Without Moving a Muscle

The answer? Go to a Single Adult Conference. You don't even have to attend the whole thing. One day will do plenty. Half a day actually would be sufficient. Not that I want to inflict pain upon my readers, but just so you will understand, here are a few highlights:

1. We sat for basically 9 hours. Yes, 9 hours. That's not a typo. We listened to the welcome speaker for an hour. Ate lunch for an hour. Had workshops (a.k.a. listened to speakers) for four hours. Listened to the Texas Boys Choir (the entertainment portion of the evening) for an hour. And then listened to our keynote speaker for an hour. My whole body ached after that.

2. It was freezing...FREEZING! You know that time of year when it stops being nice and cool and starts to get warm? The time of year we are in now for instance. And then they program the A/C to come on because it's so warm outside. And then it turns freezing cold inside and you have to go outside to warm up. There is just no happy medium...it's either too hot because the A/C is not on or too cold because it is.

3. Erica, Jen, and I were the youngest people there by at least 20 years. Okay, okay. There were a few other people our age but not many. And by not many I mean like 3 or 4 others. I counted 2 people knitting, 1 person in the first aid room (when you know there will be old people coming, I guess you have to be prepared with a first aid room...all we did was sit though, so I have no idea what this woman did to constitute needing to lie down on a cot with a blanket covering her), 8,348,357 barrettes, 200 women, and 10 men.

4. Going back to a familiar place from my young adult/youth years is just an invitation for awkward moments. Life is messy and it never turns out how you thought it would back then. What are you supposed to say when an old friend that you haven't seen or talked to in years announces to you that she has recently divorced her second husband? "Uhhhh...errr....ummm...okay."

5. Questions. I have so many questions. Why do miraculous events and inspiring stories only happen in Utah? Why were all of our speakers from Utah? (Okay, not all but most) Why is there a married couple assigned to preside over the single adults? Why didn't I realize it wasn't going to get any better? Why did they come in and take away the soft cushy chairs and replace them with the hard metal chairs for the last hour of the conference?

6. The overall theme of the conference was something about being of good cheer. Every talk was geared toward someone who is going through a really difficult time in their life and designed to lift them up. It's not a bad topic...for one or two of the talks, not for all of them. I couldn't even pay attention anymore at the end. I kind of wanted to stand up and scream, "I'm fine! I'm happy! Can we talk about something else now?" But then I realized that the majority of the people there needed that even though I didn't.

Anyways, I won't bore you to death with the details but I do need to commend my comrades who endured to the end with me by presenting them with two very special awards:

Erica gets the award for being the youngest person in attendance, for staying awake the whole time, and for making me laugh at inappropriate things in church.

Jen gets the award for being the most positive, taking notes and sharing them with me *wink*, and for sharing her blanket with me so I didn't turn into a human popsicle.

And now for my favorite quote of the day yesterday:
"Did you ever think you would find yourself at a single's conference surrounded by old people wrapped up in a camping blanket?" - Erica

Pets...

Pets are important. In my opinion, everyone needs one. They are companions and comforters. There are more pets in this world than humans (at least I think so...) And so, I will share my thoughts about pets with you all...don't hate me.

Pets and kids:
Kids should have pets. They teach them about responsibility, love, empathy, selflessness, kindness, and did I mention responsibility? They also teach kids about death and loss, which is morbid but an important lesson in life. I'm not saying your house has to be a zoo. Just give your kids the opportunity to experience having a pet. Yeah, pets are messy, but so are kids...get over it.

Pets and cloning:
People who clone their pets are selfish. The cloning process itself isn't cruel, it's the fact that you would spend thousands of dollars so you can have your dead dog back when that money could have been used to give other puppies that are alive and suffering right now a good safe home.

Pets and adults:
Okay adults...pets are not substitutes for children. Dressing them up is not okay. Birthday parties...not okay. I call my kitty my baby but she doesn't get treated like a human. Although, taking care of a dog can teach you a lot about taking care of a kid. Hmmmmm....might have to rethink this theory. Just don't dress up your dog and throw birthday parties for them. It's disturbing.

Dogs vs. Cats:
When you get a dog, most of the time they come do a home visit and sometimes have a probationary period to see how well you bond with the dog. Why don't they do that with cats? Or fish? I'm just sayin' that a lot of fishy lives might have been saved if Petco had done a home visit on me. But really, cats get neglected and abused just as much as dogs. Doesn't anyone care about the kitties of the world and the homes they are sent to?

Kittens and Puppies vs. Cats and Dogs
Someday when Millie dies, I'll get another pet but I have decided that I don't want a kitten or a puppy...no matter how cute they are. I want a grown up animal. Maybe I'll kick myself later for this, but everybody wants the kittens and puppies and it makes me feel sorry for the grown up animals that never get adopted. :( Plus, I've had a grown cat for 11 years now and a kitten might drive me nuts.

Me and Dogs:
Not everyone should get a dog. I know I am not and would not be a good dog owner. I never have been. It's something I learned a long time ago that makes me feel sad in my heart. I would like the companionship and love of a dog but I could never return it. It makes me feel like a horrible person so I just tell everyone I don't like dogs.

Regardless of the animal, I am a sucker. It breaks my heart to see animals sad or in pain. Animal movies always make me cry. I never could make it through Benji. I was a bawling baby after the first 10 minutes. And The Fox and the Hound? I had to stop it halfway through so I could pull myself together. My Dog Skip...you would have thought I was having a mental breakdown at the end. It's ridiculous.

Uh-oh...am I really the crazy librarian cat lady? This is like, the 20th post about animals. Maybe I should get out more....

Did I Mention...?

...that I hate Britney Spears? I mean seriously hate her. Okay, maybe not her personally since I don't know her personally but maybe just everything she stands for. Hmmm...that sounds like the same thing doesn't it?

Regardless, here are my reasons for my intense feelings toward Skanky Spears:

1) Every single song of hers I have ever heard is about sex. The older she gets, the more explicit they get.

2) Watching her videos is like watching porn. Not that I would know what watching porn is like but I know the definition of porn and that is what I see when I watch a Skanky Spears video.

3) She can't sing. It's just moaning. If she does know how to sing, nobody knows because she groans and moans through every one of her "songs".

4) Everyone is so complacent about her lack of moral values. Her most recent song doesn't say the F-bomb as it's title, it spells it...so that makes it okay right? And you know as long as you don't actually call it masturbation, it's okay too. We'll just describe it.

5) How'd you grow your hair back so fast Skanky? Not even a year ago you had a completely shaved bald head.

6) Girlfriend is messed up! She's got some serious crazy/psycho issues that were going on and all anybody did was feed the fire by plastering her issues all over the TV, internet, and radio. Now all of a sudden she's fine and back to doing the same old things she did before she got knocked up. Seriously Skanko, grow up and deal with your issues. Don't hide behind your sluttiness. Take a lesson from Madonna at least. I don't care if you suddenly adopt a British accent and think you are better than everyone else. When Madonna quit the pointy boob phase, she quit.

And that's all I can think of for now. Anyone else wanna take a jab?

Honey, You Are Dilluded

I'm talking about the crazy lady who decided that being a 33 year-old single mom with 6 kids wasn't quite cutting it when it came to her dream of being a mother. She denies she's being selfish. Really?

She said, "I know I'll be able to afford them when I'm done with my schooling." Oh, right. And what is she going to school for? To be a counselor. THAT makes a lot of money. And don't you worry, you'll have PLENTY of time to spend with your 14 kids, 8 of which have a high chance of having some sort of special need. If you wanted to finish your schooling, why couldn't you wait to have them until you were done?

The Today show reported that she holds each infant for 45 minutes each day. Let's see, 8 x 45= 360, and if you sleep 8 hours a day (which is about 4 times as much sleep as new mothers with one child get), that leaves a little over 10 hours left in the day...roughly. *insert sarcastic voice here* Yes, 45 minutes a day is more than enough time to hold your babies...once a day.

She said, "All I wanted was children. I wanted to be a mom. That's all I ever wanted in my life. I love my children." Hey, I'm not doubting that she loves her children. I just find it odd that in her response to accusations of selfishness, she declares what SHE wants...three times.

She said, "That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, and I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up." Who cares about how neglected those babies are going to feel growing up as long as YOU have the connections you feel you need.

And then, don't even get me started on this quote I came across today:

"I've got two daughters. 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby." - Barack Obama

Heaven forbid your daughters will have to receive punishment if they make a mistake. And punished with a baby? Wouldn't you feel just great if you knew that you were your mother's punishment?

Grrrrr.......

Twilight: To Love or Not To Love

If you saw Twilight and liked it, great. I am very happy for you that it brought some amount of joy to your heart no matter how great or small that joy might have been.

I however, did not like the movie. I thought it was pretty much terrible. Here are a few reasons why (in no particular order):

1) There was no meadow scene. Edward was jumping around in trees and Bella was following him around by expertly manuevering over moss covered fallen trees. Bella is supposed to be a huge klutz...yes, that is very important to the story line.

2) Bella. She was a spaz 90% of the time. I couldn't even tell what she was thinking with all of the blinking and shaking and pained looks.

3) Edward. He looked like he was about to vomit 90% of the time. When he smiled, I actually believed he was Edward...but that didn't happen too often.

4) All the other vampires looked fake. And Jasper...oh Jasper was pure awfulness. He gets his own number...

5) Jasper. I think I've already posted my feelings about how incredibly gay he looks in the movie. And what was up with the bug eyes?

6) The Biology scene...need I say more?

7) Bella and Edward's conversations were...well...awkward. It felt a lot of the time like I was listening in on a private conversation and it kind of made me uncomfortable.

8) Billy and Edward's stare of death as they drove past each other.

9) 90% of the lines were out of context. For example: Bella pulls up to school. Mike runs up to her and says to her in a rush, "Hey Bella. I don't like you dating Edward. He looks at you like you're something to eat. Bye." and then runs off.

10) The overall directing, acting, and script...it was like someone let a 13 year old take over all three.

Now, here's the part that I don't understand. Friends that I have talked to that saw it and liked it agreed with the things I listed above. But then they still said they liked it in spite of that.

So I'm done. I'm done trying to convince the world of how terrible the movie was. It's like trying to fight a losing battle. No matter what points of argument I give, you will agree with me but then still pick the other side. It's too frustrating...I can't do it anymore. So if you liked it, good but I can't discuss it anymore. We'll have to find other things to talk about like the greatness of Little Debbie's Snacks or funny episodes of The Office or what you are going to get me for my birthday present or what Millie's different meows mean. Those are some good starting points for conversations right? Yeah, I think so.

There Is Nothing Wrong With You

Before you say, "Yeah right." Just hear me out...

As a single person, over the years I have heard my friends say things such as:

"What's wrong with me? Why don't guys/girls like me?"
"I don't know what is wrong with those guys/girls in your ward."
"There's a reason why so-and-so isn't married..."

And then my absolute favorite:

"I don't understand why you're not married."...which we'll get to later.

Now let me just tell you this:

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!!

Trust me, I've tried to figure it out and I've tried to fix everything...EVERYTHING, and nothing works. You know why? Because nothing is broken. I have thought that if I was:

more athletic
more politically minded
a good rollerblader (yeah, I really thought that once)
good at sports
better at managing money
healthier
prettier
skinnier
quieter
louder
funnier
smarter
dumber
less worried
more worried
less paranoid
more paranoid
more grown-up
more childlike
more churchy
even less churchy
etc...etc...etc...

...that he would find me more interesting, and the truth is, even though I tried to be all of those things at one time or another, it never worked. I even tried repenting once. Yes, I repented for still being single...guess what? That didn't work either...cause I didn't do anything wrong.

On the reverse side, it drives me nuts when people mutter, "What is wrong with guys these days?" Uh, just because they are not all beating down my door with marraige proposals doesn't mean that there is something wrong with all of them. I would think it highly weird if all the guys I knew were constantly trying to date me. Plus, I would loose a whole lotta friends. You can't blame an entire gender just because the one or two that you like doesn't like you back. Remember that we get to choose, and you are not always the right choice for someone else nor are they always the right choice for you.

Okay, next point: "I don't understand why you're not married." Really? Cause guess what? Neither do I. I'm not actually doing anything that would keep me from being in a relationship with someone...I'm not doing anything wrong either. The only thing I can figure out is that it's not my time yet. It's just not my turn. Heavenly Father has an order and a reason for everything and he hasn't forgotten about all of us, he's just gettin' things ready.

Sometimes I feel like that whiny kid that wants a reason for everything you ask him/her to do. You know, the one that you just get so fed up with and then turn around and yell at them, "Because I told you to!" Yeah, that's me...the whiny kid. But HF never yells at me...ever.

Now, before you go off thinking, "Whatever, you have no idea what I'm going through." or "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before." or "You don't have any room to be talkin'." Yes, I do. I have football fields of room in the boat that I was in with loads of other people who all got out one by one and went off to snag boyfriends, get married, and have babies. I'm not married. I ain't got no babies. There's nobody in my life to reassure me that I'm beautiful, smart, funny, blah, blah, blah. And I'm freakin' bailing water out of that boat with a teacup every day. So there.

So, who will you listen to?

Satan: "Hmmm...sorry. You just aren't good enough to make the Married's Team. :( Maybe next year, honey."

or

Heavenly Father: "I'm working on it...this is going to be so good! You are going to love it...I promise!"

Be Original People!!!!

I learned today that yet another children's book (one of my favs) is being made into a movie. It irks me when this is done because then kids (and adults too) decide not to read the book because they'll just wait for the movie. Or they have seen the movie so they think reading the book is a not necessary.

GRRRRRRRRRR........

Now, I realize that kids (and grown-ups too) get excited about a book they have read being made into a movie and it is very cool to see your favorite characters come to life on the big screen but seriously...can't the movie people be a little bit more original? Give us something new to think about. We already know the story of Harry Potter...and Horton Hears A Who...and The City of Ember...and Bridge To Terebithia...and Spiderwick Chronicles...and A Series of Unfortunate Events...and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...and The Chronicles of Narnia...and the list goes on and on. I'd say about 90% of children's movies these days are movies made from books. If authors can think of new stories to write, screenwriters can surely think of some too. I'm just sayin'.

See, when you take a really good book and you make it into a movie, kids no longer pick up the book and actually read to find out what will happen next. They know already and you have taken that magic away from them. They may pick it up and read it anyways because they love the story but 9 times out of 10, they just thumb through it and read over their favorite parts.

It just makes me sad. And now one of my favorites is going to be made into a movie and it's one that I have just discovered and am getting the kids excited about. *sigh*

Here it is:

Due to come out in October 2009...yay.

Who Writes This Stuff?

I just watched High School Musical and High School Musical 2 for the first time last night, and all I have to say is, "Who writes this stuff?" Now, I'm not trying to sound bitter or cynical, but we all know that high school was not even CLOSE to that...nor will it ever be. And I'm not putting it down because it sends out a good message that being yourself is okay. In case you haven't seen it, or in case you couldn't stomach watching the whole thing, let me just paint a picture for you of what the characters are like:
Gabriella: I am the smartest kid in the United States and win decathalons like little kids win soccer trophies. My boyfriend is the star basketball player and...well, we'll get to how awesome he is in a minute. I have the voice of an angel and I am dying to try new things. I am perfect.
Troy: I am the star basketball player, the star golf player, the star everything player. I am nice and always want to help everyone. My parents took me snowboarding for New Year's yet I still feel the need to get a summer job so I can pay for college. Oh, and did I mention that I recently realized I could sing and read music and that I am good at that too? I am perfect.
Sharpay: I am beautiful. I am talented. I am conniving. I am rich. I am shallow. My thoughts consist of me, me, me, me. I am The Mean Girls stereotype.
Ryan: I am Sharpay's brother. I follow her around like a lost puppy. I have no depth until High School Musical 2. That is all.
Chad: I am Troy's best friend since preschool. I play basketball, and baseball, and every other sport known to man. I am the stereotypical wingman. I am perfectly content to be second best. My life is perfect.
Taylor: I am the second smartest kid in the United States, but I am also beautiful and can fit in with any crowd I want to. My only role in this movie is for Gabriella to have a friend and for Chad to have someone to ask out on a date at the end so that his life stays perfect.

And miraculously, they are all singing and dancing to, "We're All In This Together" at the end of the movie. Classic Disney.

How do they do it though? How do they find writers (who all have a bit of cynicism inside them somewhere) that will write this stuff? What? Do they put them in a room with smiley face bouncy balls and make everyone hold hands and discuss what their high school dreams were while a secretary sits in the corner with a steno pad and writes everything down? I just don't understand where it comes from. Maybe adults don't write it. Maybe they scour elementary schools for 4th grade writing samples of what they think high school is going to be like.

Anyways, thank you Disney for making a production where singing and dancing and being yourself is not just okay, but it's the cool thing to do. Thank you for letting kids know that it's okay to break out of the norm and to enjoy doing a variety of things. Thank you for sending a good message and promoting it so well that kids from all backgrounds eat it up like a mountain of cupcakes.

And just for a little fun, I came across this a while back when looking for Kevin Bacon Footloose pictures and had to hold back the laugh while I was watching High School Musical 2 with my neice. Enjoy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeevJobCnys

I'm Trading In

So Saturday night when I got home from work, I was walking down the hallway to get to my front door and the closer I got, the more it smelled like animal poop. Of course the first thing that comes to mind is, "If that stinkin' cat pooped on the carpet, I'm gonna..." But then, as soon as I get inside, and close the door, the smell goes away. So I go back outside and it is back and in full force. Whoa Nellie! And then my eye catches the pile of half dried dog poop on the sidewalk. On the sidewalk!! I could have stepped in that for crying out loud!!! And the smell is permeating just in my hallway because it's all enclosed and there is no breeze to come and whisk it away. So I get my outdoor broom and half successfully sweep it into our little rock courtyard which only makes the smell worse. Grrrr....

Sunday morning I get up and leave for church and guess what I find? Yeah. Fresh little pile of some nasty dog's poop...on the sidewalk again. Can you picture the scene? Here I am standing in my heels all dressed up, staring at a pile of dog poop saying to no one in particular, "Seriously? Oh my gosh! This is so disgusting! Ugh!" and then I walk/stomp (because it's not so easy to stomp in heels) off halfway across the parking lot to my car with a look of pure annoyance on my face.

So I'm trading in dog poop on the sidewalk, mosquitos in the plumbing, weird neighbors, and late night treks across the parking lot for this:

And just so you know, the pictures do not lie...it really is that dang cute. Of course, all of this really nice furniture will not be staying, but did you see the backyard? Go back and look...

...nice huh? It's about as official as official can be I guess. I'm no genius when it comes to buying a house, but the inspection is on Wednesday morning and as long as I don't back out, this puppy is m-i-n-e. We will close on the 24th so I can move on the 26th.

And as soon as I get the old lady smell out of the house, we are having a party and everyone in the entire world is invited...except the person that let their dog poop on the sidewalk and didn't clean it up.

Yeah, It's Pretty Hot

Hot Springs, Arkansas that is. At least it is during the summer anyways. I know Alison promised everyone that Erica or I would give a play by play, but I won't because you would be bored. Okay, I'll give you a sampling play by play: I took a nap, I watched TV, we played cards, I sat outside and put my feet in the water, I watched TV, we ate, etc... See? Not very exciting, but it was perfect.

For most vacations, I like to plan as much as possible and try to cram in as many sights as I can. You never know when or if you'll ever go back to that place and you don't want to miss out on anything. That is usually my philosophy...not this time though. The point of this vacation was to de-stress after a wonderful and crazy school year. So this time, I didn't clean my apartment before I left, I didn't plan any sights I wanted to see, we went to Wal-Mart more than any other place besides the cabin, and I did whatever I wanted with no internet, e-mail, cell phone reception, blow dryer, make-up, or boys. It was very lovely and at first it was hard to relax, but I got the hang of it pretty soon.

We were also on a mullet/redneck/white trash watch and we didn't have to look far. We saw two mullets, 873 mobile homes, one very redneck house with a collection of beer cans underneath the porch (see previous post for that pic) and a tarp for a third of their roof, 93 garage sales with an assortment of old clothes, garden gnomes, and all sorts of trinkets I didn't get a glimpse of as we drove by, and a few friendly faces in a park we affectionately named Meth Park.

There was just one part that didn't particularly appeal to me...the insects and arachnids. More specifically the arachnids. I have an intense fear of spiders. I mean what creature really needs eight legs? Why can't six, four, or just two suffice? Guck! They creep me out to no end. Anyway, a few of them decided to grace our presence Friday night as we sat on the (thank heavens) screened in porch. These things were so freakin' big, they must be descendants of Aragog. But then Saturday night wasn't much better when we had the porch light on and every gnat and moth and flying thing within a 95 mile radius was attracted to it. I literally couldn't tear my eyes away. I watched in horror as they covered the wall and the screen. I finally just had to go inside because it was mentally unhealthy for me to be seeing that. And then there are the silent unseen insects that burrow down inside your skin and make you the most miserable person on the face of the earth...yes, chiggers. And boy do they love me. I hate them.

But aside from the bugs, I had a blast laughing, eating, napping, eating, talking, eating, reading, eating, playing cards, eating, watching TV, and eating. So thank you Alison, Erica, Aibi, and Amy for coming with on the most unproductive weekend ever...I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

Apparently...

Satan has enlisted the mosquitos in his quest to make mortals on earth as miserable as possible.
So last night I get all comfy and snuggle down in my bed when I hear a buzzing by my ear. Great! Mosquito Alert!!!! Okay, sidenote...I need to explain what Mosquito Alert means for me. Here's what I do when I get a M.A.: Wave the air around me (to make the mosquito scared so he will fly away for a moment so I can hide from him), pull the covers up of my chin and over my ear so that all that is showing is my face. This comes from the assumption as a child that if I have at least a sheet covering me, the mosquito cannot bite me. Then I can fall into a blissful and happy REM cycle. Sidenote over. So, M.A.!!! And then I fall asleep. The next thing I know I am awoken again by a buzzing by my ear. Aaaaahhhh!! M.A. again! Except this time it is 5am...and I am wide awake because I need to make sure the mosquito is gone. If you don't know already, I will tell you that I do not, I repeat do not, like to be awoken THAT early in the morning. I tried really really hard to go back to sleep but then I heard the mosquito AGAIN. Mind you this time the only thing that is outside the covers is my face so this means that the dreaded mosquito is UNDER THE COVERS WITH ME!!!! The situation has now escalated from alert to threat. It is a full on Mosquito Threat! I throw back the covers and grab my secret weapon (a bug spray that is the Avon equivalent of Off!) and not only spray my bed, but my hair too. I want this thing to leave me alone once and for all! I naively figured that if there was bug spray surrounding me, the mosquito would leave me alone, but alas I was wrong and the dreaded beast came back. Finally I grabbed an extra sheet and wrapped my head in it and fell back asleep for a mere 15 minutes before my alarm went off.
And here's the best part. Throughout the whole ordeal, my cat just stared at me like, "Ha! This is payback for moving my cat perch right next to your alarm clock that goes off every 9 minutes for an hour before you turn it off...stupid human!"

I'm Just Sayin'

In the Twilight movie, I am not pleased with who was cast for Jasper. I heart Jasper...I really, really do but this guy they have playing him just...looks...gay. See for yourself.

He's on the far right. Green shirt, black jacket. Gay.

Looks like a girl.

Notice how they put him all blurry in the back? (He's the one in the white coat.)










Boys are not supposed to rat their hair!










Alice and Jasper don't even match. Ugh!

So what do you all think? Am I alone in my opinions that Jasper was mis-cast? I just always pictured him as quiet but fierce and dashingly handsome. I mean he was a Civil War soldier for crying out loud! He lived with the toughest and meanest vampires and trained them to be soldiers. I guess I'm just going to have to close my eyes and picture Jasper the way I want him to be when he comes on the big screen. *sigh*

A Message To All The OMG-ers

There is no need to repeat OMG five thousand times when you are excited about something. Once will suffice. If we have to put up with reading OMG! then we should only have endure it once.

Seriously, we get it!

A Message To 13 year-olds From The Movie Industry

Go see the movie Prom Night! It's tailored specifically to you young impressionable pre-teens and is full of vanity, murder, sex, psychopaths, and all manner of people being cut to shreds. We movie industry people think these are very appropriate images and thoughts to be putting into your heads.

And just think, all of this can be yours for $9!

If you are under the age of 13 and still want to go see this movie, don't worry...we've got it covered! The older teenagers who work at the movie theatre selling tickets won't ask for any kind of proof that you are at least 13 years old. They are just there to get their $6/hr, and they don't care about what you see either!

Buncha Money Grubbin' Good Fer Nuthin' Publicists

Okay, so many of you (well, now all of you) know that Stephenie Meyer is coming to the Dallas area in May for a book signing and to promote her new book The Host. If you know me at all, you know that no amount of words will portray my excitement and therefore I shall not blog about it, but I shall blog about her money grubbin' "people" (you know, like my people will get in touch with your people kinda thing).

In order to get a book signed, you have to follow these 3 *ahem* easy steps.

1) Call the B&N that is hosting the book signing so that you can put your name on a list to reserve her new book.

2) Show up at (or before) 7am on a Tuesday and buy her new book and receive a ticket to the signing.

3) Come back the following Saturday with your ticket and stand in line again and get your book signed.

There are however, a few stipulations that you have to follow:

Only the first 1000 people will be able to get a ticket to the book signing.

She will only personalize her new book and she will only sign 2 other books.

No pictures.

No signing of anything except books.

Can you picture it?

Get away from Stephenie! Don't touch her with your filthy hands and your claims that you love her work! She can't sign that for you! What are thinking? She can't write your name in THAT book! It would take an extra .00000001 of a second and if everyone wanted the same priviledge it would hold up the entire book signing for an extra 2 minutes! You didn't buy her new book? Get out of the line! Get out!

Whatever.

So have I reserved my book? Yes.

Will I play hookey on May 6th? Yes.

Will I play hookey on May 10th? Yes.

Will I get my book signed? You dang well better believe it!