Wednesday, October 15, 2008

1, 2, 3, 4, I Declare A Rodent War!

Yes folks, that is what it has come to here on Maple Drive...war! You have already heard the story about Peter the Possum and how he was scared off with the stealth tactics of our resident human. He has never been seen again, but today I am here to tell you that the War Against Rodents is still raging. We are gaining ground on Manny the Squirrel and today we have won the battle with Ronnie the Rat. I will begin tonight's briefing with the evidence against Manny the Squirrel and then move on to the more serious crimes of Ronnie the Rat.

Okay, here we have Manny the Squirrel. Notice how his mouth is half open and his stance suggests that he is ready to pounce. He's not after the humans...he's after the White Fluffy...the cat that is twice his size and completely oblivious to his existence even though he is chattering constantly at her.

Manny has made his presence widely known in the The Backyard by doing the following:

Eating every pecan in the tree and spitting the shells on the deck in little bits for three days straight. Our resident human swept them up faithfully each day as is evidenced by the pile off to the side but Manny was insistent that he get ALL of the pecans and did not give up until he had successfully stowed them at undisclosed locations for the upcoming winter.

Taking some of the afore mentioned pecans and "hiding" them in the potted plants on the deck.

Bravely coming down from the tree in broad daylight.

Turning and seeing White Fluffy.

And realizing White Fluffy is behind a glass door and no longer poses a threat to him.

I am sorry to say that Ronnie the Rat is not as cute as Manny. He's much more brave and bold when it comes to meeting White Fluffy but has successfully evaded our resident human...until today. I have graciously posted no photographic evidence of Ronnie, but we do have a first hand account from a very reliable source:

"Well, I didn't know Ronnie was hanging around the house...I didn't even know he existed until one day I went to feed the cat and when I picked up the bag of food, cat food started falling out the bottom. Something had chewed a hole in the bottom of the bag...I knew right away it was a mouse (I found out later it was something MUCH worse!). I didn't want to believe it was true. I tried to think of a million other things it could be, but it didn't work. About a week later I was in bed and the cat was in bed with me when I heard something digging around in her food dish. The very next night I heard the ripping of paper coming from the kitchen. The brand new bag of cat food! I left it sitting on the floor! I tried to sneak up on what I thought was a mouse but it was too fast and it got away before I could get a glimpse of it. I knew I had to face my problem head on and call Terminator the Exterminator to get rid of it once and for all. Terminator came out today and set a trap in Ronnie's favorite closet (the hot water heater closet). When I got home 6 hours later, I took a peek inside the closet and there was Ronnie with his...head...stuck...I can't talk about it anymore...I'm probably going to have nightmares for a week!"

And there you have it folks...the war rages on but we will be victorious!

*Please do not be concerned for our resident human. We will be sending Terminator the Exterminator out tomorrow on a Priority 1 mission to dispose of Ronnie's dead carcass.*


WhiteEyebrows said...

you are a very brave human

Alison said...

I HATE rats. HATE them. *shudder*

Emily Anne said...

we don't have rats that we know of, but the stupid squirrels eat the nuts out of our tree. If the nuts fall, the squirrels dig up my yard. It's annoying. You are very, very brave to face down the rat and win! Way to own your house.

Matthew Ware said...

Welcome to the horrors of home ownership.

Do you know the saying about squirrels? A squirrel is just a rat with better PR.

And, I just have to say, your deck is really cool.

Erika said...

Hail to the conquering hero!

Tamara said...

This is me afraid of rodents.

Amber said...

Dang! I missed a good week of posts from you!!!

To those rodents - beware! Rhia takes no prisoners!

About being single - live it up, love it up, enjoy the heck out of it...and when the time comes and the guy is right, take the plunge :)

I like the verse talk :) sleep it up too.

Em said...

Manny is just too adorable. If you get tired of having him around, send him over to me.

Poor Ronnie ... oops ... wait ... I should be saying Poor Human! Glad Terminator came out! Hope Ronnie didn't have any family staying with him!

Anonymous said...

WE Sister here..

Yes, I feel for you. We have killed 2 snakes since moving into our new house. 2 snakes! They were outside, but RIGHT BY the garage door. YUCK. I had to kill one myself cause it went in the garage, and hubby killed the other one. I also saw one by the mailbox, but it was in the gutter, so I didn't feel my home was threatened and didn't kill it. ICK! What is with the nature?