Sunday, November 16, 2008


...there are some nerds out there that think that I am in love with them because I wear this shirt:

Please let me clarify: I am not IN LOVE with you because you are a nerd...I just love your nerdiness.

This is one of my favorite shirts. I like to wear it...a lot. I shouldn't because inevitably I end up having some awkward conversation with someone who says to me, "I'm a nerd." and then stares at me to see my reaction. I should have a response down by now, but I always end up smiling, giving an uncomfortable laugh, and then try to find something else to occupy my attention.

So, Saturday night I was working at the bookstore and consequently wearing my nerd shirt. We close at 8:00pm and right at 7:59pm, in walks two guys. In all fairness, they knew exactly what they were there to get and they didn't keep us there forever while they shopped, thank goodness.

We'll just call these guys Nerdy Nerd and Friend of Nerd. Nerdy Nerd pays for his merchandise first, and then Friend of Nerd puts his stack of books on the counter to pay for his. While I am ringing up Friend of Nerd, Nerdy Nerd says to me, "I'm a nerd." I smile, laugh uncomfortably, and occupy myself with trying to get them out as fast as possible so I can go home. This however did not deter Nerdy Nerd at all. He then takes out his cell phone and says, "I can prove it. Listen." and then proceeds to make me listen to some polyphonic beeping. So I just smile and nod my head in agreement that yes, you have now proved your nerdiness to me. Nerdy Nerd realizes that I have no idea what song he has just played for me, so he tells me. "It's from Super Mario Brothers."

Apparently, this isn't enough to convince me that he is really a nerd so then he says, "Wait, I have another one!" and then plays the Star Wars theme music.

"Wow! That is really nerdy." I say.

Please, please, please go away. Please.

"Here's another one." Seriously? I know you are a nerd. Just stop. Why is your friend standing there letting you make an idiot of yourself?

And then he begins to play the Darth Vader/Storm Trooper music from Star Wars. "That officially does it. You are a real nerd." I tell him.

So, Mr. Nerdy Nerd, I am not in love with you but I do love your nerdy ways and I do appreciate that you felt the need to prove it to me.


Matthew Ware said...

So, do nerds all hide in the cracks of life waiting for someone to accept them? Because I learned not too long ago that you should just be happy with who you are. Is being a nerd like the new gay? They see your shirt and think 'Wow, someone who will accept me'.

I think that's seriously funny, though. For me, saying that you are nerd is enough to prove it. I mean, who would lie about something like that? But he had to share ring-tones with you. That's awesome.

Alison said...

Yeah, he was trying to get your number. That's why he pulled out the phone in the first place, but then decided he needed to "charm" you a little more by proving how perfect of a nerd he was for YOU to love. How romantic. :P

Matthew Ware said...

You know, I totally thought that was the way the story was going to go: "and then he asked for my digits".

You could always give out the rejection hotline number if you want. If someone won't take no for an answer, give them this number and they'll get a recorded message about how you really weren't interested. It's actually kind of funny. In Dallas it's 972-836-0066.

Emily Anne said...

Don't you think it's sad that the nerds have to tell you they are nerds? If you were really going to love them, wouldn't it be better that you discovered their nerdy ways on your own? And "I'm a nerd" is a complete turn off. I love the shirt, but the attention it attracts scares me a bit. Better you than me!