Saturday, November 29, 2008

Twilight: To Love or Not To Love

If you saw Twilight and liked it, great. I am very happy for you that it brought some amount of joy to your heart no matter how great or small that joy might have been.

I however, did not like the movie. I thought it was pretty much terrible. Here are a few reasons why (in no particular order):

1) There was no meadow scene. Edward was jumping around in trees and Bella was following him around by expertly manuevering over moss covered fallen trees. Bella is supposed to be a huge klutz...yes, that is very important to the story line.

2) Bella. She was a spaz 90% of the time. I couldn't even tell what she was thinking with all of the blinking and shaking and pained looks.

3) Edward. He looked like he was about to vomit 90% of the time. When he smiled, I actually believed he was Edward...but that didn't happen too often.

4) All the other vampires looked fake. And Jasper...oh Jasper was pure awfulness. He gets his own number...

5) Jasper. I think I've already posted my feelings about how incredibly gay he looks in the movie. And what was up with the bug eyes?

6) The Biology scene...need I say more?

7) Bella and Edward's conversations were...well...awkward. It felt a lot of the time like I was listening in on a private conversation and it kind of made me uncomfortable.

8) Billy and Edward's stare of death as they drove past each other.

9) 90% of the lines were out of context. For example: Bella pulls up to school. Mike runs up to her and says to her in a rush, "Hey Bella. I don't like you dating Edward. He looks at you like you're something to eat. Bye." and then runs off.

10) The overall directing, acting, and was like someone let a 13 year old take over all three.

Now, here's the part that I don't understand. Friends that I have talked to that saw it and liked it agreed with the things I listed above. But then they still said they liked it in spite of that.

So I'm done. I'm done trying to convince the world of how terrible the movie was. It's like trying to fight a losing battle. No matter what points of argument I give, you will agree with me but then still pick the other side. It's too frustrating...I can't do it anymore. So if you liked it, good but I can't discuss it anymore. We'll have to find other things to talk about like the greatness of Little Debbie's Snacks or funny episodes of The Office or what you are going to get me for my birthday present or what Millie's different meows mean. Those are some good starting points for conversations right? Yeah, I think so.


Alison said...

Amen and AMEN! It sucked!! (Pun intended) I HATED IT UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY. #8 is the one that really got me--I could not stop laughing. Oh, man.

And I'm sorry, but the meadow scene is pretty important in every part of the story (i.e. the other books) from that point on . . . it should not have looked like a gay 80's music video version of the meadow scene--it should be down played and NORMAL. Arg! I will be typing all night if I keep this up. I HATED IT. Ok, I'm done.

So, what do you think Millie is saying when she meow's?

Amber said...

I second (or third) your opinion. I saw it this last week and I 100% agree with all of your reasons and want to add one - the first kiss scene!!!!!!!!!! BOGUS!!!!!!!!

When I tell people I saw it and they ask whether I liked it or not I say ... I would have liked it if I hadn't read the book.

It was too off, the whole feeling of the movie was off, the characters were off, the portrayal of the scenes were off.

I wish I still had that 7.50+ popcorn and drink money back in my wallet. I could have bought some more crafts at Joann's or something!!!!!

(ps, I'm not rereading this or spell checking it because I'm so done with this movie!)

Matthew Ware said...

1. What?!? No meadow scene? That was like the big reveal. That was the dream Stephenie Meyer had that inspired the whole series! Grr.

4. They had one of the actors on TMZ (tabloid show) last night who was from Twilight. I don't know who he was supposed to be because he certainly didn't look like some uber cool vampire.

13. I noticed the movie was produced by Summit Entertainment. Not Warner Bros, not Paramount, not Fox, etc, etc. I've never heard of Summit. And maybe I never will again.

I haven't seen the movie yet so I guess I'll see how I feel. I opted to see Transporter 3 instead, so, yeah. And it's okay that Emily liked it because she can separate herself and appreciate a movie even if it had nothing to do with the book. I guess that's her special gift :)

Erika said...

Thanks for saving me the $8!

Emily Anne said...

I think the reason I liked it was because 1. I have only seen it once. 2. It's kind of like a train wreck where you are horrified but just cannot turn away.

Erica said...

Me likey bad movies. I wanna see it and be close to peeing myself again.

Bad vampires. GOOD! Shaky Rabbit tooth Bella. GOOD! The worst movie makeup I have ever seen in my life and all to make two dark haired people blonde?? What is this 1930? GOOD!

It was bad enough for me to be able to Mystery Science Theater it. That is enough for me.

Tamara said...

The morbid curiosity is killing me. I must see it!