Satan has enlisted the mosquitos in his quest to make mortals on earth as miserable as possible.
So last night I get all comfy and snuggle down in my bed when I hear a buzzing by my ear. Great! Mosquito Alert!!!! Okay, sidenote...I need to explain what Mosquito Alert means for me. Here's what I do when I get a M.A.: Wave the air around me (to make the mosquito scared so he will fly away for a moment so I can hide from him), pull the covers up of my chin and over my ear so that all that is showing is my face. This comes from the assumption as a child that if I have at least a sheet covering me, the mosquito cannot bite me. Then I can fall into a blissful and happy REM cycle. Sidenote over. So, M.A.!!! And then I fall asleep. The next thing I know I am awoken again by a buzzing by my ear. Aaaaahhhh!! M.A. again! Except this time it is 5am...and I am wide awake because I need to make sure the mosquito is gone. If you don't know already, I will tell you that I do not, I repeat do not, like to be awoken THAT early in the morning. I tried really really hard to go back to sleep but then I heard the mosquito AGAIN. Mind you this time the only thing that is outside the covers is my face so this means that the dreaded mosquito is UNDER THE COVERS WITH ME!!!! The situation has now escalated from alert to threat. It is a full on Mosquito Threat! I throw back the covers and grab my secret weapon (a bug spray that is the Avon equivalent of Off!) and not only spray my bed, but my hair too. I want this thing to leave me alone once and for all! I naively figured that if there was bug spray surrounding me, the mosquito would leave me alone, but alas I was wrong and the dreaded beast came back. Finally I grabbed an extra sheet and wrapped my head in it and fell back asleep for a mere 15 minutes before my alarm went off.
And here's the best part. Throughout the whole ordeal, my cat just stared at me like, "Ha! This is payback for moving my cat perch right next to your alarm clock that goes off every 9 minutes for an hour before you turn it off...stupid human!"