I'm Trading In

So Saturday night when I got home from work, I was walking down the hallway to get to my front door and the closer I got, the more it smelled like animal poop. Of course the first thing that comes to mind is, "If that stinkin' cat pooped on the carpet, I'm gonna..." But then, as soon as I get inside, and close the door, the smell goes away. So I go back outside and it is back and in full force. Whoa Nellie! And then my eye catches the pile of half dried dog poop on the sidewalk. On the sidewalk!! I could have stepped in that for crying out loud!!! And the smell is permeating just in my hallway because it's all enclosed and there is no breeze to come and whisk it away. So I get my outdoor broom and half successfully sweep it into our little rock courtyard which only makes the smell worse. Grrrr....

Sunday morning I get up and leave for church and guess what I find? Yeah. Fresh little pile of some nasty dog's poop...on the sidewalk again. Can you picture the scene? Here I am standing in my heels all dressed up, staring at a pile of dog poop saying to no one in particular, "Seriously? Oh my gosh! This is so disgusting! Ugh!" and then I walk/stomp (because it's not so easy to stomp in heels) off halfway across the parking lot to my car with a look of pure annoyance on my face.

So I'm trading in dog poop on the sidewalk, mosquitos in the plumbing, weird neighbors, and late night treks across the parking lot for this:

And just so you know, the pictures do not lie...it really is that dang cute. Of course, all of this really nice furniture will not be staying, but did you see the backyard? Go back and look...

...nice huh? It's about as official as official can be I guess. I'm no genius when it comes to buying a house, but the inspection is on Wednesday morning and as long as I don't back out, this puppy is m-i-n-e. We will close on the 24th so I can move on the 26th.

And as soon as I get the old lady smell out of the house, we are having a party and everyone in the entire world is invited...except the person that let their dog poop on the sidewalk and didn't clean it up.

And I Quote...

(Alison, you have inspired me to write in this style.)

So yesterday and today I have been sitting in class. It is my last class for my master's degree and the first one I have had to go to campus for. I was kinda grumbly about having to drive to Denton and actually meet people in my class and listen to my professor lecture, but it has totally been worth it. My class is a storytelling class and the professor is a professional storyteller who looks part hippie, part old lady, part hick. This woman is hi-larious! I was so caught up in what she was saying yesterday that I didn't write anything down. When I got home last night and was blogging I thought, "I need to blog about this woman." So, today, as she was imparting her little gems of wisdom to us, I got out my pen and paper and this is what I captured:

"Oh! A revenge story! I didn't even know I needed a revenge story...it's Friday!"

"This sucks big hairy tea bags."

"Some libraries are so small you can't whip a cat without getting hair in your mouth."

"I come from a long line of revival preachers - I can talk forever."

"I can barely walk and chew gum."

"If you want a good seat on an airplane, come on wearing this." (speaking of a jester's hat she was wearing)

"We don't want to break the law unless we know it and have planned it."

And this is my absolute FAVORITE!

(She's relating the story of standing in Central Park ready to tell some stories and the microphone stand keeps sliding down everytime she pulls it back up and tightens the knob thing on the side)
"Must be a male microphone."

Maybe I'll have a few more tomorrow or the next time we meet in two weeks. Who knew graduate school could be this entertaining?

Are Ya With Me?

So the theme for this blog will be my adventures in house hunting. Just so you know, I have found something and it is super duper cute but I am not going to post a picture or give you all the details just yet. I feel like I would be jinxing myself or something. It has happened extremely fast and has gone pretty much perfectly so I'm standing by because I know I'm going to have to pay my dues in trials and tribulations soon. Not that I'm trying to be pessimistic or miscount my blessings or anything, but I'm just not used to getting blessings for free. So pics and details will come when things are set in stone and I have fully signed my life away.

Okay, so lets use Elmer Fudd hunting as a metaphor for house hunting. You know how he always says, "Be vewy vewy quite. We are hunting wabbits!" or some nonsense like that? Well, this is how it went with house hunting: "Be vewy vewy qui--bang! Got it!" Yep, that fast. I looked at the house for the first time a week ago today. See why I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall?

My realtor is...interesting. First of all, I found my house, it was the first one I looked at, and I fell in love immediately. So all she has done really is the paperwork for which I will gladly pay her because I hate not only paperwork, but paper as well (including copy machines and sometimes printers). God invented computers for a reason and that reason is not so we can print off everything that we see on the computer. I'm just sayin'.
She also has this saying: "Are ya with me?" She'll say it after she explains something but leaves off the end. Like I'm supposed to guess what comes next or what she is meaning (which I rarely do but I always say yes so she won't go into further "Are ya with me?"s that will only confuse me more). After she says "Are ya with me?" she leans forward just a smidge and stares at me with her mouth half open and after a 2 second pause, she starts to nod her head like she sees that I understand. It's very odd behavior. I really wish someone was there to witness this with me, but alas, this is my burden to carry alone and you can all join in the fun when everything is finalized.

I ran into Ben today. He's gone a bit grizzly since our last encounter on Mother's Day. I was walking across the parking lot and I passed him. I didn't recognize him with his facial hair, but he said hello to me and asked me how I was and then turned around and walked with me claiming that he forgot where he parked (we have parking spaces on both sides of our building and he remembered that he parked in the other one so he had to go back through the building to the other side). He asked me how school was to which I replied that it was fine but it was also summer (which many many people forget...I don't know how you could forget that it is summer when it is 100 plus degrees and you literally start baking once you step outside, but people do). He then told me that he was going to go back to school to study law (last time it was oceanography) to which I replied "Great." and kept walking. We exchanged a few more pleasantries and then I said goodbye and went down my hall to my apartment door and he went the other way to the parking lot.
I'm gonna miss my interesting neighbors. I'll do a little spying when I move so I'll have something fun to blog about.

Oh, and my realtor gave me bumps today. You know, like fist bumps. I wasn't quite sure what to do when she put her fist in front of me. I guessed she wanted bumps, and luckily I guessed right. And it wasn't just one bump, it was three. Three bumps. I think she thought we got a good deal with the house.

And, (one more thing about the realtor) I told her I had a cat and for some reason she got in her head a picture of me with a glass of tea on the backporch with Millie whom she affectionately calls "Kitty". "Oh I can just picture you and Kitty out here after work drinking your glass of tea." "I can see that you're tired. You've been at work all day. You get home to Kitty and think about blah blah blah." "And Kitty can have her chair here." It's just too funny when she talks about Kitty that I don't have the heart to tell her that not only do I not drink tea but my cat gets no preferential treatment. "Kitty" has to fight for attention with the computer, my phone, the TV, an entire bookshelf of great literature, and my love of sleeping in.

HOLY FREAKING COW! I'M BUYING A HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!

i (Heart) Tunes

So I'm sitting here getting all caught up on blog reading and listening to my iTunes and I just thought it was funny how it goes from Metro Station (kind of upbeat beebop music...you can mock me...i like it) then it goes to Micheal Buble (who I like to call My-kul Bubble...who sounds a lot like Frank Sinatra) to the soundtrack of the TV show Lost. Just a random thought. Just thought I would share that.

Otherwise, I would like to spend a few minutes on Why Kids Pout. I would like to share with you two experiences I observed this week of kids pouting (only two you say? I know, I'm lucky...I don't have kids yet). First was this little girl that came to the bookstore with her family. She wanted everything but nothing was what she wanted and she would not be consoled. When they came up to pay, her mother informed us that she was pregnant and they had had the ultrasound earlier that day. The little girl was upset because she was getting a little brother and she wanted a little brother AND a little sister.
Second was tonight. I was at Blockbuster looking for a movie or 3 and this kid walks by me with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face saying, "They let someone else have all the Jaws movies."

That's about all the excitement I've had this week.

It's That Time Again!

Oh yes, my friends. It's that time of year again where I decide that I am being too lazy and therefore need to make some sort of fitness goal. I never do it for my New Year's Resolution...most of the time I don't even make New Year's Resolutions because they are pointless since I never keep them. Anyways, so yeah, fitness goal. Last year I decided I was going to run a marathon and in case you have been on another planet for the past year, I am here to tell you that I did it. The girl who's number one reason to take marching band in high school was so she didn't have to take P.E. The girl who took a fitness class in college and was running slower at the end of the semester even though she did everything she was supposed to. The girl who is the most uncoordinated person on the face of the earth. The girl who couldn't climb a flight of stairs without gasping (yes, gasping) for air. That girl ran a marathon. And she's gonna do it again.

So tonight was the first night of new training. I haven't run since the marathon. Not really that is. I'd run maybe once or twice a week but I haven't done that for at least two months so I'm not as in shape as I once was. We just ran for 5 minutes at a time (walk 5 minutes, run 5 minutes for 30 minutes) tonight and it was tough. But that's okay, because I'm tough too. And in case you don't know me very well, when I am determined to do something...I'm determined and I'll do it.

As for my partner, last time I somehow convinced my good friend Jill D. to run with me and that girl is more determined than me. That's another story though. This time I somehow convinced Amy O. to run with me. Or maybe she convinced me to run with her. Not sure which happened first. Anyways, this is going to prove to be a very fun and productive training. Can you believe that I've also convinced her that I know what I'm doing? I love this girl!

So anyways, I hope that my ankles and knees behave better this time. I hope that Jill joins us soon. I hope that Amy doesn't hate me by the time we get to the marathon. And I really hope that old guy in his purple spandex shorts is there again because that was just too classic! (I'm sorry, I just can't post that picture on the blog...you can view it on my facebook or just ask and I'll e-mail it to you :)

Have You Ever?

I know it's been a little while since I posted something new, or even interesting, or even funny, but life for me in the summer can get...well old, uninteresting, and boring. I LOVE IT! However, that might mean that my blogs are fewer and farer in betweener. However again, it's also going to be fun seeing what adventures pop up during the summer...hee-hee-hee.

Okay, so for this blog, I thought we could all play a game. It's called Have You Ever. Everyone knows this game...someone tells an of an experience that has happened to them and the people who are present and participating make it known if they have or have not had the same experience in some form or fashion. Personally I really don't like this game...it usually causes embarrassment for me or awkwardness for other unfortunate souls. Fortunately, I am hiding behind a computer screen and therefore will be a little more bold in my have-you-evers. And fortunately for you, you have a choice of whether or not to participate or observe with no one giving you looks like you are a party pooper or an over-sharer. So here goes...and by the way, all of these things really happened to me this past week...yay!

Have you ever looked at a picture and thought shallow, petty, mean thoughts about the person in the photograph only to realize a second later that it is a picture of you 10 years ago?
I went with my mom on Wednesday to pick up about 15 rolls of film that she found when cleaning and as I was looking through pictures taken at Christmas 10 years ago, I thought "Who is that sitting in the corner? She looks like a man. That is an awful sweater. Very unfortunate for her...oh...that's me." Why didn't anyone tell me I looked so awful? How grateful I am to my girlie-girl friends who have instilled in me at least a small amount of fashion sense in the last 10 years!

Have you ever sat next to someone in church and their breath was so foul that you had to look away to breathe while singing a hymn?
Yeah, it was really that bad today in Relief Society. Four verses never seemed so long...

Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee so bad you thought you might wet yourself but then were so tired that you fell back asleep?
No, I didn't wet the bed. I'm a pro at holding it...any teacher (or former teacher) is.

Have you ever mourned the absence of a vegetable?
I'd really like to have a word with the person or persons that ruined all my tomatoes...seriously! I'm dying here because you decided to relieve yourself in the fields and not even rinse your hands off! No, I'm not sick, I just really really really really really miss tomatoes.

Have you ever made something and instead of eating it fresh, put it in the fridge because you knew it would be better the next day?
Buitoni ravioli and marinara sauce...Target...soooooo good!!!!

Have you ever had to try to explain to someone that you don't want to go to an activity because you don't want to be a part of their social group?
I have had 3 e-mails, 1 phone call, 2 personal invitations, and 1 paper invitation to this stinkin' prom event...

Have you ever had to wash your hair 3 times to get it clean?
I went to a water park yesterday and while I am very proud that I managed to have fun AND avoid a sunburn, my hair was so incredibly disgusting when I got home last night. Even now, it still doesn't feel clean. *shiver*

And that concludes our festivities for tonight... :)

Yeah, It's Pretty Hot

Hot Springs, Arkansas that is. At least it is during the summer anyways. I know Alison promised everyone that Erica or I would give a play by play, but I won't because you would be bored. Okay, I'll give you a sampling play by play: I took a nap, I watched TV, we played cards, I sat outside and put my feet in the water, I watched TV, we ate, etc... See? Not very exciting, but it was perfect.

For most vacations, I like to plan as much as possible and try to cram in as many sights as I can. You never know when or if you'll ever go back to that place and you don't want to miss out on anything. That is usually my philosophy...not this time though. The point of this vacation was to de-stress after a wonderful and crazy school year. So this time, I didn't clean my apartment before I left, I didn't plan any sights I wanted to see, we went to Wal-Mart more than any other place besides the cabin, and I did whatever I wanted with no internet, e-mail, cell phone reception, blow dryer, make-up, or boys. It was very lovely and at first it was hard to relax, but I got the hang of it pretty soon.

We were also on a mullet/redneck/white trash watch and we didn't have to look far. We saw two mullets, 873 mobile homes, one very redneck house with a collection of beer cans underneath the porch (see previous post for that pic) and a tarp for a third of their roof, 93 garage sales with an assortment of old clothes, garden gnomes, and all sorts of trinkets I didn't get a glimpse of as we drove by, and a few friendly faces in a park we affectionately named Meth Park.

There was just one part that didn't particularly appeal to me...the insects and arachnids. More specifically the arachnids. I have an intense fear of spiders. I mean what creature really needs eight legs? Why can't six, four, or just two suffice? Guck! They creep me out to no end. Anyway, a few of them decided to grace our presence Friday night as we sat on the (thank heavens) screened in porch. These things were so freakin' big, they must be descendants of Aragog. But then Saturday night wasn't much better when we had the porch light on and every gnat and moth and flying thing within a 95 mile radius was attracted to it. I literally couldn't tear my eyes away. I watched in horror as they covered the wall and the screen. I finally just had to go inside because it was mentally unhealthy for me to be seeing that. And then there are the silent unseen insects that burrow down inside your skin and make you the most miserable person on the face of the earth...yes, chiggers. And boy do they love me. I hate them.

But aside from the bugs, I had a blast laughing, eating, napping, eating, talking, eating, reading, eating, playing cards, eating, watching TV, and eating. So thank you Alison, Erica, Aibi, and Amy for coming with on the most unproductive weekend ever...I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

Jitters

I have officially started with the house hunting process. I sent in my application a few minutes ago to the loan officer and I don't know why, but I'm all jittery and nervous now. I've talked about buying a house for over a year now and I'm finally getting it done and I'll be honest...I'm scared to death. What if they look at my finances and laugh, "Are you kidding? You want to buy a house with this? Did you want it with or without wheels?" What if the only thing I can afford wreaks like mold and is infested with roaches? What if a bunch of drug dealers or Satan worshipers move in next door to me? How will I keep Millie away from them? What if the ceiling caves in on me one night while I'm sleeping...or worse when I'm in the shower? I'm just a little nervous about these and a million other things I haven't thought of yet.

It's just that I've never spent so much money or bought anything so expensive or grown up. I just wish that I had someone to talk it over with and make the decision with and experience the whole process with. Where is my eternal companion anyways? Why isn't he here for this? What could be more important than your future wife's first home? When I find him, we are having a discussion about all the scary things I have had to do on my own and what he was doing that was so important that he wasn't there for them. He better not be playing video games. I'm just sayin'.

Anyways, I will promise to all of my readers out there that I hereby solemnly swear to never decorate with fishes and to not house my beer can collection under the front porch.

I Think I Have A Naked Neighbor

Concerning isn't it? And kinda oogie. So my neighbor, let's call him Chris (just because I don't know any Chris' and he sort of looks like a Chris), never closes his blinds. And he never puts on a shirt...the rest I don't know about because he is either standing in his kitchen (so the bottom half of his body is covered by the counter) or standing on his back porch smoking (so the bottom half of his body is covered by his porch fence/wall). Now, let me just tell you so all of my secret admirers won't get jealous that I am looking at another man...the top half isn't all that great...it isn't even good. But he is ALWAYS there! Okay, maybe not always, but at least 90% of the time. And I KNOW he ain't got no girlfriend. The kitchen layout in these apartments has two cabinets that hang over the bar with a shelf in between and a little light over the shelf. He's got a purple bath towel that hangs in front of the light so he can keep the kitchen light on and it won't glare on his big screen TV that takes up the entire living room wall. And he's always at least half naked. Does that spell bachelor or what?

Okay, I'm being a little judgemental. I'll stop because I bet I got judged this week...or maybe it was last week. I'm not sure. See, my apartment is a mess...shocker, I know. But I found this slip that the pest control people leave when they visit your apartment...you know, they always leave it somewhere obvious so you know they were there that day...I found it on the stove. I bet the pest control people looked around and thought, "I don't even know where to put this little slip where she'll find it. Well, I bet she'll use the stove sometime soon...maybe." I have laundry everywhere, mail all over the place, stacks of papers and books, shoes by pretty much every sitting place...they saw it all...whenever it was that they came. That little slip could have been there for a week and I didn't even see it. Concerning isn't it?

I Have Discovered...

...that I like dancing. Now, before you get all excited and want to take me to some dance studio or club so I can show off my *cough* skills, let me clarify what I mean. I don't like to GO dancing, but I like to watch OTHER PEOPLE dance. I realized this tonight as I was standing outside at the Music Hall at Fair Park and they had some cloggers/tap dancers performing. I just really like the way people can show their excitement, love, sadness, joy, etc. through movement. I should have known I had this great love when I discovered the movie Strictly Ballroom (thankyouverymuch Emily...you introduced me to the wonderful and talented Baz Luhrman) and it quickly became one of my favs as well as Billy Elliot, Swing Kids, and Dirty Dancing. I should have known of my great love when I watched Footloose for the 8,738,950,995 time and thought I could recreate the dance scene where Ren dances in the mill all by himself (no, I didn't do it justice, and no I won't ever, ever, ever attempt it again). I should have known when I watched Hairspray for the first time and fought really hard to not get up and "Run and Tell That". Why has it taken me so long to realize this?


And just so you all know, yes, I have danced slow dances by myself in my robe in my apartment on Valentine's Day before. Is that sharing too much? I don't care! I love dancing...even though I don't do it well, watching other people makes me happy, so dance on all you Kevin Bacon lovers! Dance on!