Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I Think I Have A Naked Neighbor

Concerning isn't it? And kinda oogie. So my neighbor, let's call him Chris (just because I don't know any Chris' and he sort of looks like a Chris), never closes his blinds. And he never puts on a shirt...the rest I don't know about because he is either standing in his kitchen (so the bottom half of his body is covered by the counter) or standing on his back porch smoking (so the bottom half of his body is covered by his porch fence/wall). Now, let me just tell you so all of my secret admirers won't get jealous that I am looking at another man...the top half isn't all that great...it isn't even good. But he is ALWAYS there! Okay, maybe not always, but at least 90% of the time. And I KNOW he ain't got no girlfriend. The kitchen layout in these apartments has two cabinets that hang over the bar with a shelf in between and a little light over the shelf. He's got a purple bath towel that hangs in front of the light so he can keep the kitchen light on and it won't glare on his big screen TV that takes up the entire living room wall. And he's always at least half naked. Does that spell bachelor or what?

Okay, I'm being a little judgemental. I'll stop because I bet I got judged this week...or maybe it was last week. I'm not sure. See, my apartment is a mess...shocker, I know. But I found this slip that the pest control people leave when they visit your apartment...you know, they always leave it somewhere obvious so you know they were there that day...I found it on the stove. I bet the pest control people looked around and thought, "I don't even know where to put this little slip where she'll find it. Well, I bet she'll use the stove sometime soon...maybe." I have laundry everywhere, mail all over the place, stacks of papers and books, shoes by pretty much every sitting place...they saw it all...whenever it was that they came. That little slip could have been there for a week and I didn't even see it. Concerning isn't it?

7 comments:

Alison said...

Well, look at the bright side, at least the bottom half is always covered. Right? :S

My apartment looks like rabid dogs got loose and tore everything up. It's sad. Especially since school ended for me Friday. It should be clean by now. Spotless. But it's not. Tomorrow . . . I hope. :)

Got Bombshell? said...

Too bad your naked neighbor isn't hot. That would be lovely...

Erica said...

I had Big Fat Ugly Naked guy at my apartment. He was morbidly obese and aparently had moved his bed into the living room. It was way gross. he pulled up the blinds and let everyone see his gross nakedness. I once had a girl trying to drop by my apartment and secretly leave a gift and she freaked out because she was looking for our second story porch with lights on it and saw big fat ugly naked guy. Classic.

I would be ooooged out in your case. A mobile naked guy is far more scary. Our homebound one wasn't as creepy.

Matthew said...

It's naked time! Wasn't that a storyline on Friends?

Isn't it always the ugly people that are okay with their self image. Not that it's okay to be ugly and have a good self image, I don't consider myself to be the most attractive person, and I make sure to keep myself covered when people may be looking.

Tamara said...

Rhia, what is it going to take to get you to move? OK OK I give. You can have my room. I'll take the guest room!

Emily Anne said...

dude, it is way past time to move from the crazy apartment complex.
my verification is icxfhrge. What kind of crazyness is that?

Amber said...

GGGGGGGGGGIRL! You KNOW you watch for Naked Neighbor every day just to make sure he's still there. You are not fooling us.

Maybe he sees you too and thinks, "hmmm, maybe I will impress her with my nakedness today!"