Saturday, December 6, 2008

I Don't Know Why...

...anyone ever thought "Autumn Biscotti" would make a good candle scent. Yet another disgusting candle someone thought was good enough to put in the bathrooms at work....I threw it in the trash tonight.

...I ask the bilingual kids at school questions in spanish...because then they answer me in spanish and I have no idea what they are saying so then I have to have one of the other bilingual kids translate for me.

...I go to Home Depot and buy things...I always get weird looks when I am going out to my car with huge pieces of wood. Yes! I can make it fit and no, I don't need your help!

...I thought it was a good idea to go to Sonic and get those french toast sticks and then try to dip them in the syrup while I am driving...and shifting gears.

...I rush outside with a flashlight everytime I hear a noise in the yard. I mean, what good is that really going to do? Am I planning on beating some robber with my $5 flashlight or something? Will he be scared by my raging fit when we make eye contact? Ronnie the Rat wasn't scared, why would Robber Bob or Peter Possum or anything or anyone else that feels they have a right to my step foot on my property?

...JC Penny's keeps sending me ads and coupons. Did they not understand when I told them "I will never shop here again"?

...I even bother to rake up the leaves in my yard. I mean, I know I have lots and you can really tell a difference when I do rake, but nobody else in my neighborhood rakes their leaves. Some of them don't even mow their lawn except maybe once or twice a year.

...My cat is so dumb. After I yell at her for scratching the rug, she then proceeds to sit there and lick the spot she had been scratching.


Em's end said...

I am rolling on the floor! I love this post ... especially the part about Sonic ... I'll be chuckling over that one all day!

Alison said...

Those French Toast Sticks are not the "on the go" food they claim to be. Syrup everywhere. I'm just sayin'.

Erika said...

I'm just loving the mental picture of you, a large piece of wood,...and your car.

Matthew Ware said...

...I love your initiative. Throw those candles away!

...I want to learn Spanish. Someday I'll be looking for some patient bilingual people to practice with.

...The Mighty Miata strikes again!

...Another benefit of automatic transmission, just sayin'.

...You could get a Maglite (those suckers are tough) or a gun (that solution is a bit more permanent for the offender) or some outside lights so you can look in fear from your curtains (I'm a little ashamed to admit I do this).

...Remember when that person who said they were from Taco Bueno kept posting on my blog after I criticized them?

...I don't rake the leaves. I have nowhere to put them and try to tell myself that they'll be good for the lawn.

...Since the Christmas tree was put up, I'm not sure if the cat likes to sit there and clean himself, or if he's secretly chewing on the electric lights. I'm not sure if I care at this point.

Emily Anne said...

I think you should put one of those big pieces of wood on your flashlight and make it look like a shotgun. That should scare someone away. Plus, you could always hit a bad guy with it and you wouldn't have to be very close.

Lori said...

Thank you Rhia for this fantastic post. I needed a good laugh today. You are the best!