I recently read White Eyebrows' blog, Celebrating Singleness: Two Contrasting Articles, and I just want to say that I did have something to say about it, but 1) it took me a while to realize what it was, 2) I couldn't really put my finger on it because it wasn't so much about his blog, but about the article, Marry Him! (The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough), and 3) what I had to say needed it's own blog.
Basically, in this article, this woman tells the story of how she broke up with all of her boyfriends when she was in her 20s and early 30s, decided she really wanted a baby, chose to be a single mom by going to a sperm bank, and now regrets her choices and just wants another person around to help with the burden of childcare, thus making her case for settling.
Let me just make this very clear to all of you out there who care or don't care...
I'M NOT SETTLING!
No, I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect...Mr. Perfect doesn't want anything to do with me. I mean, he hasn't even introduced himself yet (if I ever met Mr. Perfect, he would introduce himself because well, he's perfect.) Seriously though, if Mr. Perfect did want anything to do with me, he would have perfectly introduced himself to me at my perfect marrying age of 23 and we would be living our perfect lives making everyone else around us sick.
Okay, anyways, I'm not settling. After giving it some thought, here are the things I will not settle on:
1) He has to go with me to the temple. Not just to get married, but my hubby and I will be a temple attending couple.
2) He has to love me and I have to love him. I don't mean that I need flowers all the time or some huge stupid teddy bear at Valentine's or little hearts floating around on my screen saver or anything, but I just want someone that wants to be with me.
3) He has to make me laugh and I have to make him laugh. Anything else would just be depressing.
Everything else is either covered under one of these three things (like abuse...well, that wouldn't make me laugh, nor would he be going to the temple with such behavior so I won't settle for that), or is something that I can learn to live with and fall in love with.
Now, here's why I won't settle: I'm happy with my life right now. If I had to spend eternity with another person and they couldn't give me those three things, it would just be miserable. So, if I'm happy right now, why would I trade that in for misery? That's just it...I wouldn't. And even if I was unhappy, or if I become an unhappy person, I am the only person I need to please to make myself happy again.
So here's my advice to the Settling Lady who wrote that article: It's your own stupid fault for passing up all sorts of great guys because you "never viewed the world through quite the same lense" or you were "a half-note off". Don't counsel me that I should grab the first male that walks past me just because he has a heartbeat and sperm for my unborn children. If all you want is another warm body to help you take care of your kid, get a nanny!