Tuesday, March 18, 2008


There are about a thousand other things I should be doing right now, but blogging is what I want to do so that is what I'm going to do. Okay, there isn't a thousand things. Just one. I should be writing my talk for Sunday...I'm really just procastinating. Writing this blog won't take long. Great! Now I'm rationalizing. Whatever. I've started and it's just easier to finish.

So there is this guy that lives two floors above me. I don't know his name but he's creepy so let's call him Ben. Like the Ben on Lost. I have had a few run-ins with Ben since moving into my apartment last summer and each one has left me thinking, "That guy is weird." Here they are in cronological order:

1) Last August I was hauling all of my teacher junk home that currently lines my bedroom wall. I thought I was being wise in loading all of my boxes onto a dolly and then rolling them to my door. Turns out that wasn't so wise because just as soon as I shoved them up the sidewalk and through the gate, everything went spilling everywhere. Who shows up at that exact moment but Ben. He ever so kindly helps me carry my boxes and spillage to my apartment where he informs me that a couple of guys used to live in my apartment. (Who cares?) He asks me if I am just moving in and I explain to him that I'm moving all of my teacher stuff home b/c I just got a position as a librarian. He then tells me that he is writing a book. (Why is this guy home in the middle of the day? I work at a school, so I have summers off...that's my excuse. What's his?) Our conversation goes on and I think I asked him about his family or something, because I remember him telling me that he doesn't have a family and that he was raised by nuns. It was one of those awkward, uncomfortable moments when you don't really know what to say next, so you don't say anything at all. So after Ben helps me with the last box, I thank him politely and he just nods at me and walks off. We'd had an entire "get to know you" conversation and he can't even say, "It was nice to meet you." or any other polite good-bye phrase. He just walks off. Weird.

2) This next instance happened somewhere around October or November. I hadn't really seen Ben very much, just in passing where we would say hello to each other. So this one morning, it was about 5:00 or 6:00 am, I wake up to voices outside my bedroom window. I only have this one window in my apartment and the only thing outside my bedroom window is a fence that meets with the building, so there's nothing there but grass, and it doesn't go anywhere, so there's no reason for anyone to be out there. Of course I'm curious, so I take a little peeky through the blinds and right there, not 2 inches away from my window is Ben! Holy crap! What is he doing? He's stomping around in the grass and talking to some girl. Hmmm...maybe he's looking for something, but I don't know what b/c there's nothing there. Weird.

3) February-ish time: I have forgiven Ben for stomping around outside my window in the wee hours of the morning. He hadn't done it since. At least not that I know of. I'm driving home one day and I see him walking from a house in the neighborhood down the street from our complex. Everyone knows that apartment people don't mix with house people in the same neighborhood. Weird.

4) Yesterday I was sitting in the living room enjoying the lovely weather with my back door open and Ben walks right by. My back door and bedroom window share the same wall. The only people that ever walk by my back door are the guys that mow the lawn...like I said, there's nothing there but grass. He walks by, and then walks back. Like he's checking on something. Weird.

I'm just sayin' is all...it's weird.


Alison said...

You know, that's all stuff that shouldn't seem like a big deal, but it's the vibe the person gives off that makes you wonder if he's a serial killer. Awkward. It gives me the creeps just thinking about it.

Emily Anne said...

I don't have any great comment to make, but Matt said that wasn't nice so I thought I would comment about nothing. One of these days you will have to tell Matt my favorite story of yours about Shannon and the candy bar machine. It still makes me laugh. You crack me up.

R Matthew Ware said...

Hey, I'm a writer, but I have a job and don't hang out by single women's back doors.

Was his name Damien? I'm reading a book about the apacolypse where these evil nuns try to convince the parents of the antichrist to name their son Damien. It's a comedy, but still.

Got Bombshell? said...

He's got a dead body buried back there. He was stomping to make sure it was packed in real good. Maybe that explains the bad smell that Alison is complaining about on her blog.

Erica said...

Rhia- Introduce him to Millie! There, problem solved. No more hanging around.