Alison...this is why we are friends:
I am OCD about...
Where I park at Wal-Mart or Target - I will lose my car if I do not park between rows 8 and 9 at Wal-Mart and since Target doesn't number their rows, I have to park on the right side of the store. I spent 15 minutes pushing the panic button on my keychain one night because I decided to live on the edge.
Checking my e-mail and blog. Okay, and reading other peoples blogs too - tomorrow and for the next 3-4 days, I will probably check my blog 725,892,104 times just to see who has posted a comment on this blog.
Milk - once it has reached the "sell by" date, it's a gonner. And sometimes it's a gonner before that. Like if there is a ring on the inside of the jug because it has been sitting for a day or two without me using it, it's a gonner. Or if the cap gets crusty...gonner. It's just not right.
Onions - I live by a strict code of conduct that states, "All onions will be thoroughly removed from all food that is to enter Rhia's mouth. Furthermore, if there is any question about onions being put on food ordered at a restaurant, it will be requested to come without onions." Friends and family members alike can attest that I don't break this rule...EVER.
The alphabet - I'm just obsessed with it. I can't help it. I'm a librarian people! C'mon!!! If you need your DVD collection alphabetized, I'm your girl. Even if you don't want your DVDs alphabetized, I might just do it anyways, so WATCH OUT!
My books - Once again...librarian! Seriously though, this one kind of conflicts with the alphabet compulsion. I like my books organized by size. I've had to suppress this compulsion since organizing by the alphabet is the only way to find things when you have a large collection...like in a library.
Picking at things - this one is slightly embarassing but kind of a biggie, so I couldn't leave it out. Okay, so it's not really picking, but peeling. Got a sunburn? Yes, you can call me in a few days to come peel your skin. It's fun! Everybody does it and you know it!
Songs - when I hear a song I like, I buy it and then listen to it constantly. Like all the time. It goes on repeat over and over again. This is a true compulsion. It physically hurts to listen to other songs when I want to listen to my one and only. Then I get sick of it and move on.
My temple chair - one time we had a bunch of people over for dinner and as chairs were short in our apartment, I brought my coveted temple chair out for me to sit on (me...I'm the only one allowed, so if you're thinking of sitting in my chair, think again and find another chair...I'm not lying). Well, I got up to get the door, and when I did, this random guy (I don't even remember him except for this one instance) sat in my chair. MY TEMPLE CHAIR! WITH FOOD IN HIS LAP! I'm not outwardly rude about it, so I won't command you to get out of my chair or lose your life, but I will glare. I was really quiet for the rest of the evening. Is it wrong to be so incredibly non-Christ-like about a chair that came from the temple?
TV shows - I can re-cap any episode from Lost and you'll feel like you were actually there watching it. I remember what everyone says and sees and does. I found I had this special gift when I used to watch Alias. I made Janette sit and listen to me for an obscene amount of time while I re-capped 2 1/2 seasons of Alias one evening. Okay, so it's not a gift. It's an obsession with a fictional world.
Mah Jong Tiles - I finally had to just pay the $19.95 and buy the deluxe version. I actually make Mah Jong goals for myself and work hard to accomplish them. No, I won't tell you my goals. And don't think that you can come over to my place and sit at my computer and play my favorite game and think that I'll leave you alone. I'll stand right next to you and tap at the screen while saying, "That one and that one. That one and that one. That one and that one."
Misspelled words - this is my biggest one. BIGGEST! I almost literally gave birth to a cow when this lady e-mailed me the other day and said, "I hope this made since!" Nope, didn't make since to me! I WILL call you out on this one, but if I do, I'll just make fun of you. Sorry, can't help it. It's funny! Didn't you laugh when you read "I hope this made since"?
And Alison, I really do have SARS mask...and I'm really worried that someday we will ALL have to use them. So stock up people! Stock up! It's coming. I have strong feelings about West Nile too, but that is another blog for another day.
I have more, but uh...it's kinda late and a girl's got to have SOME secrets right?
And by the way, about my temple chair, if you sit in it (which you are not allowed to do so don't even think about it!), I'll stand next to it and stare at it for a full 5 minutes or more after you leave trying to convince myself that what just happened didn't really just happen.
10 comments:
Hee-hee. That was a good blog Rhia! My, my, what a great and clever and witty writer you are! :)
*I snort more because of your self-comment*
I know what you mean about spelling. The people that really bother me are the ones that don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". Even Emily does this sometimes.
I actually had some milk on the expiration date. I was nervous. And my nervousness was justified. When I'd stock milk I'd get upset that people would dig back trying to get to the milk with the best date, but it really does matter. That couple days could save your life.
I try to organize my books by size too. It just doesn't look right having tall and short books together. The shame is that we have almost enough books to start a personal library, but because of the size of our house most are in boxes. Sometimes I feel bad for those poor books. The ones not good enough to be on the shelf.
Oh, Rhia, I'm so glad you took my command to spill all your OCD secrets to heart. hehe. I LOVE the temple chair thing. I will remember not to sit in it, if I ever see the temple chair, because it is sacred. :) I heart Alias. Emily got me hooked a couple seasons before it ended. That show was the reason I had a Blockbuster Online account for a while. Oh, I miss Vaughn. sigh. I get stuck on songs too. Currently, it is "If You Want Me" from the Once soundtrack. I walk around my apartment wailing it at the top of my lungs. It's greatness. Oh, and last but not least--can I get a SARS mask? I'm sick again. This is a record. I have been sick three times in the last month. So, I think the SARS mask would be the natural next step . . . or a hazmat suit. Either one would work, really.
WAHAHAHA.
Milk doesn't live after the expiration date; everyone knows it turns into ricin or something after that.
I miss all in-person Rhia Jean moments! You are so funny and this blog made me laugh so hard that I snorted. When we move back to Dallas you are invited to come over and arrange my DVD's and books just the way you like them!
Sweet mask!
my glands are swollen....ummm, I think I have SARS or West Nile! Can I borrow your mask?
I sniff the milk and if it smells I won't drink it, usually it's still "in" date but it's not for me...maybe Jason.
If something touches the ground - I won't use/eat it - no way Jose. Did you know that you walked on that spot with your shoes on? Now think of all the places your shoes have been. Now think of all the shoes that stepped on all the places your shoes have stepped on. Now think of where all those shoes have been...and on and on and on.
Our DVD collection is organized alphabetically - except when the kids pull them all down, which used to be daily.
O Rhia Jean,
I miss you!!
I'm so glad my friends love me in spite of my dislike of milk and my insane love of the alphabet!
Amber, no...you can't borrow my mask. I don't want your disease. I'll get you your own for your birthday. I know it's coming. It's in April sometime. We'll see if I get lucky again this year and actually call you on your birthday.
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