Thursday, May 8, 2008

Theories


If you have read Alison or Erica's blog recently, you know that I spent a whopping 9 hours on the sidewalk the other night outside the Barnes and Noble. Why? To get a ticket to go to a Q&A session and book signing with...ta da!!! Steeeeeeeee-phenie Meyerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (Okay, when I read that I think all those e's are long e's but they are not...read them with the short e sound.) I will admit to all those who are wondering that this was not my first experience with camping out for tickets to some event or another. It was my 3rd time. And no, it wasn't anything cool. Well, it kinda was...I'll let my readers be the judge. I camped out in college with my old roomie Emily for tickets to the midnight showing of Star Wars Episode 1. I camped out in my early college years for tickets to go to the solemn assembly general conference session when Pres. Hinkley was sustained.

Anyways, as we were camped out, the fanatics in front of us in line wanted to know our theories for their podcast. I made one up on the spot to satisfy Ms. Fanatic so she would leave us alone (it was either make up a theory or get pelted with more stupid questions like, "What was the fourth word in the second paragraph of page 325 in New Moon?" to which we would all reply, "I don't know." and then be given a look like, "You are NOT a true fan!"...okay, it wasn't that bad.) Now that I am awake and coherent though, I do believe it was a good theory after all.

After listening to the entire stupid podcast (wherein my brilliant theory was NOT featured...grrr!), I decided I should blog about my own theories because these girls do not know what a good juicy theory is. They just look at the surface and theorize what they want to happen and not what makes a good story. Do you think anyone theorized that Dumbledore would die? Of course not, but it kept us all on the edge of our seat and thirsting for more after it happened didn't it?

(If you haven't read the books, you might want to stop reading here because none of this will make any sense to you whatsoever...however, it might be kind of amusing so I'll let you choose.)

Here goes:

Someone important will die. It's just got to happen folks...only bad guys have died up until this point. I think it will be either Alice or Carlisle.

Jacob has imprinted on Bella even though he has told her already that he hasn't. Werewolves lie too you know.

If Bella becomes a vampire, her superpower will not be that she can resist other vampire powers...that's too easy. It's got to be something better than that.

If Bella becomes a vampire, when she and Edward finally have sex they will break every peice of furniture in the room...and they may quite possibly take down the enitre building as well.

The End.

Anyone else have any theories they would like to share?

(Please do not, I repeat do not, say that your theory is that Edward and Bella will get married and that Bella will become a vampire...that is the lamest theory on the face of the earth. You can come up with something better than that right?)

6 comments:

R Matthew Ware said...

I could see Carlile dying. He's sort of Edward's moral compass, and the voice of calm in their family. Taking him out would be like taking out Dumbledore. Then everyone has to start thinking on their own.

And losing Alice would be a big deal to Bella. Compared to everyone but Edward, Alice is probably the closest to her, well, not including her own father.

And your vampire sex is funny. I wonder if vampires have temples.

Alison said...

Rhia, you are sooooo good at the theories! I love talking Lost theories with you too.

Furniture-breaking sex, eh? Niiiiiiice. ;)

Oh! And how dare they not include you on the podcast after being so loud at 4 A.M.?! The nerve.

Emily Anne said...

Rhia, you were the first and only person I camped out with all night for tickets to anything. Thanks for camping out with me to see Star Wars. That was much dorkier than your other two experiences. Thanks for being a dork for me.

My prediction is that they will find some crappy, lame reason to still not turn Bella into a vampire and I'm going to be royally pissed. I do think Jacob imprinted on Bella. Maybe she will go back and choose Jacob. No, but her wedding will be crashed and messed up. Either the wedding or the wedding night.

My verification is rgqwoepf. What kind of cracked out wierdo came up with that?

R Matthew Ware said...

Yeah, Jacob peeved me in the last one. But then, so did Bella. If you're in a committed relationship, and your friend that has a crush on you proves he can't be "just friends" then you dump him. Bella should have dumped him when he kissed her the first time. Would have saved a lot of trouble.

But then, what's an angst-ridden novel without a love triangle?

The Patton Family said...

NO NOT ALICE! I don't want her to die, but I could see another Cullen kickin the bucket! Or Bella's dad. I have thought that Jacob imprinted on Bella, so I go with that too. But wait....when you have sex, you AREN'T suppose to knock down walls and break furniture.....dang, I've been doin it wrong from yeeeeears!

Erica said...

Rhia- with Bella's ability to get injured all the freaking time as a human...maybe her vampire ability will be....some sort of super gracefulness. OR she will be able to be injured or whatever but be super immune to pain and with her thought blocking powers- be able to keep secrets better than a swiss bank vault. Tada.

OOOH- or another alternate Bella theory. She gets bitten and due to her wierd human-ness that hints at maybe being one of the ...were they vamp hunters? I can't remember- I need to look it all up again. Maybe if she gets bit she becoems a different type of vampire or something. oooh lala.

In all reality I also doubt they will ever turn her.

And I think Jacob did imprint on her.

And I think that her dad will die. And her mom will come out with some UBER family secrets.

These are my not-well-thought-out theories at 12:56 after a dance. Wheee!