Thursday, April 3, 2008

Shew! That STANKS!

I'm not talking about stink here...I'm talking about STANK! So I work part-time at the LDS Bookstore here in Dallas and I absolutely love it. We sell books, but we also sell other favorite LDS things...such as candles. I heart candles. I have bought many a candle with my employee discount. Candles can smell yummy, flowery, memorable, just plain good, and sadly downright nasty. For instance, there is a candle that smells (to me at least) like rootbeer. I heart rootbeer. I do not heart rootbeer scented candles. It. Be. Stanky! For some reason, someone decided this would be a good candle to put in the bathrooms at the bookstore. It sits back there in those nasty bathrooms, in that little room with those old out of print books all day and burns, burns, burns. (No, the out of print books are not in the bathroom...the bathrooms are in the out of print room. Just clarifying.) I was so glad last week when I saw that it was almost burnt out. The wick was just this little speck in the bottom of the jar. I thought to myself, "Thank goodness! That must have been a candle that never sold so they decided to just go ahead and use it. I hope someone has the sense to put a more appealing scent back here so we don't gag when we have to use the bathroom." I come back this week and I go into the bathroom and the stank hits me...rootbeer/bathroom/moldy carpet. Good night nurse! Is that candle still not finished? How is that possible? It was flickering out last week! I look and lo and behold, someone has put a brand stinkin' new rootbeer throw-up candle in the bathroom...


6 comments:

R Matthew Ware said...

I've noticed that only Root Beer is good at it's smell/taste. Anything else that tries to be Root Beer sucks (do I really have to capitalize Root Beer? I'm going to stop now).

Root (okay, it was at the front of a sentence, it needed a big 'R') beer flavored candy, ick. Root (crap) beer ice cream, double ick. Root (sigh) beer milk, I don't know, haven't tried it, because it seems like it would be a quadruple ick. root (hehehe) beer should be enjoyed as itself and should not be forced into other incarnations.

And I love candles too. I like the smell, I love the way they flicker. Enjoying a root beer while watching a candle flicker? Haven't tried it yet, but maybe...

Alison said...

Mmmmmmm . . . Root Beer (that one's for you Matt) is my favorite non-caffeinated beverage. But a candle? Odd.

Oh, and speaking of STANK. I had to have the talk I have every spring with my classes this week: the wearing deodorant talk. sigh. It's awkward every year, but every year it's necessary. Oh, girl, the STANK of spring! I wish they would allow us to burn candles in our rooms, cause I'd be all over it right now. :P

My word was zijbkdo, which is the word you say when you smell something horrible coming from a bathroom.

drfindley said...

I thought you might enjoy this: http://www.thebigbags.com/humorously-depressing-image-of-the-day-day-4/

Emily Anne said...

Root beer Jelly Bellies are awsome. Root beer candle, I don't know. I wonder if you could put the scent in an envelope and mail it to me so I could make an informed decision. I hate walking by Yankee Candle stores in the mall because all those scents mix together and make you gag.

My verification ends with pu. I think that is appropriate.

Tamara said...

Seriously, I can think of little worse than a candle that smells bad. It permeates everywhere and long after it's burned out, you can still smell it. OY! Perhaps you should start carrying a car freshener in your pocket and hold it up to your nose whenever you have to enter the rootbeer scent infested lair. :)

Molly said...

dude, gross. really!