Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I Hereby Solemnly Swear...

...to never feather my hair.

...to never dress my children in matching plaid jumpers.

...to never wear a jumper of any kind myself.

...to kill all bugs that come into my house/apartment (or those that attack me outside), thereby helping to control the insect:human ratio (which is substantially disproportionate...insects could take over the world if they had a mind to).

...to never give a "miss-imony" rather than a testimony (i.e. "I'd like to bear my testimony that I'm going to miss ya'll so much!")

...to earnestly endeavor to improve my wardrobe...it's in sad shape people!

...to always have insurance, that way if I get in an accident and it's my fault, the other person doesn't have to fork out a $250 deductible in order to get their car fixed when it wasn't their fault (part 1 of the craptastic weekend a few weekends ago :)

...to not talk during an author presentation at a librarian conference when everyone is trying to listen and then keep talking after I have been asked to be quiet twice.

...to not take off my shoes during said conference and prop them up on the chair in front of me as if I were at home.

...that I am up to no good.


Alison said...

Ha! I loved this one! :)

R Matthew Ware said...

That blog was worth the wait :)

My word is uzvzz. It's the sound you make at annoying people at librarian conferences (or at the theater) to get them to stop doing whatever annoying thing they are doing.

Emily Anne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erica said...

whatever ....you are soo gonna feather your hair. And have bangs that do a wave. I hear they're coming back.

Emily Anne said...

Umm, please disregard my last comment. I realized that you were paying attention and others were rude. Forgive me for being retarded. Its been one of those days.