Friday, April 18, 2008

My Blog Has The Bird Flu

Well okay, not my blog but me. I have the bird flu. Every time I type the word flu, I have this irresistible urge to type an "e" on the end. And I had to look up how to spell irresistible. Crap! I really do have the bird flu! Dang it! I typed the "e" again! Forget it...flue flue flue flue flue. There, done.

Okay, but I don't have anything to write about. That's what the bird flue does to you! The bird flue is different from bird flu. See, if you have the bird flue, then that affects your typing, spelling, and creative ideas skills. If you have the bird flu, that is a dangerous disease that you catch from chickens. Good night nurse. I sound like a third grader with my sentence structure. Erica T has the bird flue too. T, your sentence structure and spelling were dead on, but the bird flue has affected your creative ideas skills. That is what is wrong...Samuel gave us his case of writer's block and it has morphed into the bird flue. Wait, is it affected or effected? I'm dying here people! DYING!!!

Fine, I'm not dying. But I do have phlegm in my chest that is causing these really pathetic whiny coughs. Now that, my friends is the bird flu. It is quite possible that I could die. It's inevitable actually. Not any time soon though. I have to fulfill my lifelong dream of living to be 100 yrs. old first and then I can die of the bird flu. Actually, I'd just like to die peacefully in my sleep. Is that too much to ask? 100 year old people should not have to die gruesome or painful deaths. I mean, they've lived for 100 years! Okay, enough of that.

I finally got my watch battery replaced today. Now I will always know what time it is...the world is at peace once again.


R Matthew Ware said...

But does your watch only work on your own planet? (vague Wind in the Door reference)

I think it's time to slap your SARS mask back on and brave the world. And make sure you wear it in public. Be proud. People won't know when you're sticking your tongue out.

And I know that affect is a verb, and effect is a noun. I'm not sure how to actually apply that rule, but there you go.

(I also know the difference between then and than, your and you're, and most recently, its and it's and it secretly bugs me when people get them wrong:)

WhiteEyebrows said...

at least you don't have sars again.

Emily Anne said...

You lost me somewhere in the middle. I'm sorry you have phlegm. I could listen to your lung sounds if you would like. It only takes 9 hours to get here.

Alison said...

Oh, I LOVED this one. :D