Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I really need to move

This is the "grassy" area right outside my bedroom window where Ben has been reported to be seen tromping around. I am a little concerned as you might guess that it is not live grass anymore but dead grass. Notice how it is neatly contained in this area and the deadness does not spread outside the fence, nor does it go past the tree. I think Ben is trying to poison me by putting deadly chemicals in the ground that will seep into my bedroom so that when I walk around barefoot, the skin on the bottom of my feet will absorb these deadly chemicals (probably Anthrax) and in turn poison me. And I bet he has the secret antidote and is fantasizing that I will get sick and he will be the only one to save me with it. Ugh! I so do not want to be saved by creepy Ben. I am NOT walking barefoot in my bedroom anymore.

13 comments:

R Matthew Ware said...

You have the mind of a writer.

My sister's apartment used to look out on what we lovingly called the rapist's woods. She had a peeping tom too. She was not impressed.

Alison said...

Oh, dear. That is an excellent theory. However, I think it's much worse. I submit to you: He's burried one of his ten victims under that patch of dead grass and goes around stomping on it so he can relive the moment in his sick and twisted mind. Who knows where the other bodies are?! Forget about the shoes! Sleep with mace by your bed!

R Matthew Ware said...

Ready for a stereotype? Doesn't everyone in Texas own a gun?

Emily Anne said...

Everyone is crazy. I'm sure he is just a kind guy who is shy and wanted to plant you flowers under your bedroom window but killed them instead, just like you with plants.
My verification word today is fohah. Cool.

WhiteEyebrows said...

who is Ben and why is this the first time i'm hearing about him?

Rhia Jean said...

Okay, now I am officially creeped out Alison and Matthew!

Em- I'm sure he is a nice guy but I have to have some outlet for my vivid imagination.

W.E.- Ben is the creepy guy that lives two floors above me. I wrote about him in a previous blog titled "Creeeepy!"

And just so you all know, I am a crack shot with a shotgun in my hands!

Got Bombshell? said...

Maybe he pees back there. EWWW!

Tamara said...

What I want to know is why you are still inhabiting this apartment with all of these suspicious types out there lurkiing about (most troublingly, JUST OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW.) Listen carefully. I am only going to say this once. RUN, DON'T WALK, AWAY FROM THAT PLACE. I'll be by around 7 to pick up your boxes.

(P.S., In case you are wondering, I'm totally not an over reactor...ever. I'll get the guest room ready for you. Dinner will be at around 8.)

Rhia Jean said...

Tamara to the rescue!!!!!

Lori said...

I have proof that Rhia knows a thing or two about guns. I have personally seen her in action! Ben should be very afraid. Rhia Jean - be brave , like the little toaster and all will be well. Smiles :-)

Amber said...

I agree with Alison - it's a burial plot.

If not, the grass is dead because he walks on it so much - peeper!

You need to mention to him the next time you see him that you went hunting this past weekend and bagged an enormous deer (or whatever is in season).

Additionally - if you are not moving...CALL THE POLICE and the apartment complex management to REPORT the suspicious activity. Let's face it, I don't think your blog will hold up in court as reporting this CREEEEEPY man.

word verification YSGGS - it's like the willies. what you say when you want to say when you are gagged and tied up in ben's closet!

Amber said...

ok, third option - he's been trying to revive the grass and that's why he's always back there.

Rhia Jean said...

He is kind of granola-ish.