Sunday, September 14, 2008

Thoughts On A Sunday Evening

"A real man makes his own luck."
-Billy Zane, Titanic

I heart this quote for two reasons.

1) Dwight quoted it on The Office and it always cracks me up when two of my favorites reference each other.

2) It's some ways. It basically means, if you want something-do something.

See, lately I have been kind of a brat. I've been pouting and bemoaning my marital/relationship status quite a bit...not outwardly for the most part but those closest to me have surely seen signs of it or have even been lucky to hear the tale first hand. Sadly though the brunt of my frustration has been taken out on the members of my new ward. It's hard for me to switch wards and get to know new people all over again. It's just not something I am used to...and with getting to know new people comes all of the questions, "Is your husband with you?" "Do you have anyone sitting with you?" "Do you have any children?" "Are you...single?" After about a month of this (because that's about how long it takes to meet and greet enough people so that word gets out and you don't have to answer those questions any least I hope so), it gets really annoying and I want to give snappy answers like, "Well what does it look like?"...even though I don't.

Last Sunday I found myself highly annoyed when a nice lady was trying to introduce herself to me (without the awkward questions about my non-existent husband) and was sending out all sorts of signals that said, "Leave me the #@%$# alone!" I had my legs and arms crossed, I never made eye contact, I gave clipped one word answers, and I didn't smile. Then after church I made a bee-line for the door and sped out of the parking lot. On my way home I was grumbling to myself about how I didn't like my ward because I didn't have any friends and I didn't know anyone and all I ever did anymore was watch the clock. Then my sane brain stepped in and said, "Why do you think that is?" and gave me a flash of what I must look like to others at church with my blank annoyed stares and speed walking to the door.


So this Sunday I decided to do something about it. I sat in the same spot as last time and when the nice lady sat down next to me again (because we all know we have our "spots" on certain pews) and called me Khia (kee-uh) because they misspelled my name in the ward newsletter, I smiled and laughed a little bit and started off the conversation the same way I do to everyone who reads my name before they hear my name, "It's Rye-Uh..." And then it turned out to be a very nice Sunday (and I only caught myself watching the clock once.)


Matthew Ware said...

Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying "A man is as happy as he chooses to be."

Easier said than done, but a lot of our happiness isn't based on how our life is doing, but how we perceive it. I want you to be happy. I hope God gives you all the good gifts that you deserve. And I hope you can be as happy as you can be until that happens.

And it's okay to get cranky and have bad days. Even Jesus said, "let this cup pass". Getting depressed isn't a sin.

Alison said...

This Sunday was better for me too. I decided to try to enjoy myself. In fact our last talk was given by one of our bishopric memebers and because I wasn't all pissy, I heard things I needed to from him. I think our attitudes might be improving, Rhia . . . what d'ya think? :)

Emily Anne said...

You can have my husband as a gift.

Em's end said...

I think it was very wise of you to let the frumpies pass and move on. It isn't always easy to do. And I think your friends who posted comments had some wise things to say as well. That being the case, please let me offer some wisdom too. I think your problem lies not in having difficulty with the same old embarrassing questions that new people ask. I think the problem is in HOW you percieve the questions. So far, you have perceived them as an affront to your dignity. Perhaps you need to change that thought and think of them as a potential new source. These people know people you don't know, and can introduce you to them. And who knows, maybe one of those people these new people know is that one person you seek and can't find. So I say, open your heart and let these new sources take you where they may. It just may be where you want to go.