Thursday, September 4, 2008

Facebook...let's just be honest with each other

Okay Facebook. We need to have a little chat. What is up with the advertisements you are allowing on your sidebar? I am deeply concerned. Apparently there are a lot of issues and offers out there that I haven't been aware of. Here is a sampling:

"Need Help Wasting Time?"
Ooooh! Ooooh! I can answer that one! No. I do not need help wasting time...that is why I am on facebook.

"Get A Guy"
*ahem* Thank you. Thank you for this advertisement. I was really wondering how I would accomplish the monumental task of how to get a guy and then you went and offered me a guide. I like to see that you have my best interest at heart.

"Fixes Snoring" just looks like an el-cheapo mouth gaurd to me. Although I'm not it a nose plug? No, looks like a mouth guard. Either way, I don't see how either one would fix snoring.

"Help Share Christ's Love"

I'm not sure where exactly this picture was taken or what exactly it is, but I do know has nothing to do with Christ. It appears to be someone's vacation/stupid tourist photo. It looks like two babies that are bowing...????

"Roosters Country Bar"

...Do they look like roosters to you? I mean, I get the double meaning behind Hooters, but Roosters? I guess it's the whole double-o/big boobs thing...

"No Poisoning Prairie Dogs"

Apparently this is a huge problem with facebook users. I know it is tempting but I encourage you to refrain. Just don't do it people. We have to save the prairie dogs. What would we do without them? I shudder to think...


Matthew Ware said...

Yeah, well, be glad you're a woman. I guess Facebook designs its ads for the user. For example, I am a 27 year old male who apparently is interested in going back to school, playing video games, and having random hook-ups with slutty women. And where do I get a lot of these ads, when I'm at work doing something innocent like browsing flair.

And to be quite honest, when I choose to go to school, it won't be to one of these schools that advertise on Facebook (I have a deep distrust of businesses that advertise too much). Also, I haven't been into video games that much since I was 16 and couldn't beat Warcraft without the cheat codes. In fact, I'm not good at most video games and don't feel the need to sit there for days on end, enhancing the muscles in my thumb and index fingers. And lastly, I don't want random hook-ups with random women in Kansas City who are just waiting for me to call. I have a wife and I don't have an STD, two things I don't want to change at the moment.

But I do think we need to stop poisoning our prairie dogs. I mean, come on people.

Alison said...

I volunteer to rescue poisoned prairie dogs every weekend. It is a HUGE problem. Those mean, vicious farmers are constantly driving these sweet, gentle animals out of their natural habitat, claiming that they have to "grow food for [us] to eat without these little vermin ruining [their] crop." I have pledged my life to the ethical treatment of prairie dogs and their kind. And you should too, instead of mocking their deplorable situation.

Matthew Ware said...

Are prairie dogs edible, then?