Tuesday, February 19, 2008

It's The Crazy Cat Lady!

Yeah, that's me. I've tried to deny it for years, but tonight I think it finally came true. I have two cats and to protect their identity, we'll call them Satan and Psycho. Friends who know me and my cats will know exactly which one is which. This evening's blog is about Psycho mainly. She likes to do things that I do. For instance, while I am sitting at the computer, she often gets in my lap and stares at the screen like it is really interesting to her. She even tried to type on the keyboard today.

So tonight, I was cleaning up from last night's "half cleaning the apartment" episode and had the back door open. Psycho constantly likes to try to escape. Any time a door is open, she thinks she's going to go it on her own and live the life she was always meant to live, free and wild, with the wind in her face, chasing little critters and big dogs that are no match for her spry young body and sharp mind...except it is extremely terrifying for her and she literally loses her mind when she attempts this. Okay, so door is open, and Psycho jumps out onto the balcony. Usually I can tell her to get back in and she is afraid of "behavior modification" so she goes back in. This time, she thought otherwise and made a run for it. I tried to call her back, but she wouldn't come. I went out the front door and around and by that time, she had jumped onto the neighbor's porch thinking it was her own and was frantically trying to get back in. Luckily the neighbors weren't home, and as I'm standing there calling Psycho to come, a nice young couple walk up and offer their help (while the girl is giving a play by play to whoever she is talking to on the phone). The guy tries to get her off the porch, but Psycho is a crazy good jumper and literally flies over the balcony wall, over the bushes, and lands on the grass at a run and takes off toward two ladies walking their dogs. After I locate Psycho under a bush, just out of my reach, I try to get her to come to me but alas, she has already lost her mind and thinks I am there to do her great harm. So I get my arms all scratched up grabbing at her tail, legs, whatever I can grab onto so she won't take off again.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I had just had to go outside and grab the cat, but that's not how it played out. Psycho was loud. And I mean LOUD. She was (in her mind) in grave danger and needed help so she was meowing profusely and wouldn't answer my calls because I was the one (again in her mind) that put her in such danger. So not only did we have the nice helpful couple and the two ladies walking their dogs as witnesses to my crazy cat, but people came out on their porch to see what was going on. Let's just imagine their conversation for a moment: "What was that?" "Oh, just the cat lady that lives next door looking for her cat." "That was a cat? Geez, it sounded like something was dying." "Well, you know how cat people are." "Yeah, crazy."

When I do get her back inside, she at first ignores me and goes off to pout somewhere because she still thinks that I am a stranger that has kidnapped her and won't let her live her life of freedom. After a few minutes, she has regained her wits and is so happy to be at home again that she won't leave my side...until I open the door again.


Amber said...

ok, u r the crazy cat lady but only because you know what is going on in her mind and made up all those conversations!! GIRL U CRAZY!

Alison said...

That picture is hilarious! (She looks like she's contemplating what to write next.)

You are NOT a crazy cat lady. A cat person, yes, but not a crazy one. (Although I could maybe see you reading the book I saw one of my students with yesterday "What Your Cat is Thinking.")

Oh, and by the way, really like the new names for the animals. There are very . . . what's the word? . . . descriptive? :) I love you Rhia!

WhiteEyebrows said...

the #1 evidence of you becoming the crazy cat lady is actually the fact that you protect the identity of your cats by using pseudonyms.