So tonight I had to make a quick trip to Target. I went in, got the few things I needed, spent less than $20, and left. I was very proud of myself. As I was walking out, someone calls out, "Hey! Come here!" Naturally my curiosity got the better of me and I looked for who was yelling out and who they were yelling at. It was a guy standing about ten feet away from me calling to...you guessed it...me.
Okay, before I continue, I know you are saying to yourself, "Oh, Rhia...please tell me you did not go over to this guy...when are you ever gonna learn?" But I instantly thought that maybe he needed some help or something. I mean, he was just standing there (in a lit area full of people walking in and out of the store) like he needed...something. And it's just not in my nature to be a total b**** to a stranger for no reason...well, most of the time.
So I walk over to...we'll call him Jason (my apologies to any Jason's out there who are reading, it's not that he reminded me of you, it's just that he looked like a Jason), and he seems very eager to talk to me. He's literally jumping up and down. He introduces himself and says he's from California and that he's part of a contest (I instantly think of reality TV stardom...don't laugh...you would too), and then asks me where I'm from. I still have this confused look on my face because I'm trying to figure out what Jason needs, and I say, "Uh...I'm from here." He looks geniunely surprised at this and then proceeds to go into his schpeel about how he's in this program that helps him build confidence and in a contest to earn points and how it saves kids from cancer and how he's trying to win a trip to Jamaica and how he had come outside to smoke a cigarette but then saw me and decided to wait as he tucks his ciggy behind his ear. And then he asks me, "Do you like benches?" and invites me to come sit on the bench with him to talk and then says, "You're not married are you?"
Jason stops to take a breath and I'm able to get one word out:
I thought he needed help! I thought I was going to be a part of a new reality TV show! I thought at the very least he was doing some sort of scavenger hunt with a church group!
As he is jump/skipping and waving me over to the bench I tell him I can't stay to talk to him on the bench and that I've got to go. Immediately he's back in front of me and says, "It's okay, we can stand and talk." and then pulls out these laminated cards from his man purse/zipper bag thingy and asks me to look at the point totals and if I was going to purchase a magazine what magazine would I buy...
I interrupted him at this point and tell him, "I'm not going to buy anything." and hand his card back. But he won't take it. Instead he sticks another in my hand along with the first one and says, "Oh, I'm not asking you to buy anything, but if you buy one of these magazines then you can help the kids..."
Interruption: "I just told you I'm not buying anything and I really have to go." I'm trying to hand him his cards back but he won't take them! And then he says, "Just two minutes! Two seconds!" I stare at him and count...one one thousand, two one thousand.
And then Happy ADHD Jason changes instantly into Jaded Distant Mad Jason and he says, "Fine, never mind." and snatches his cards back as he turns away from me.
I wanted to laugh out loud but instead I just walked away and said, "Okay thanks!" and he mumbled after me, "I don't know why you're thanking me! You wouldn't even listen."
And now I will get on my soap box:
I said thank you because I didn't choose to annoy people with my multiple personality disorder in order to build confidence. I built my confidence by being polite to people and earning their respect in return.
It shocks me everytime that A) there are companies that train their employees to acost people in shopping center parking lots, be extremely annoying and weird, and lie in order to sell magazine subscriptions, and B) that people do it.
Are you really from California? No. You said that because the weather is nice. If it was rainy, you'd say you were from Washington. If it was windy, you'd say you were from Chicago.
Is there really a trip to Jamaica for you? No. You said that because you want me to feel like I'm doing something for you personally.
Am I really helping to save kids with cancer? No. Organizations that donate all (or even some) of their money to starving kids in Africa or whatever don't get all pissy when you won't give them money. They are CHARITABLE which means they are giving and kind and not in it for the money.
Are you trying to get me to buy something? Yes. Even though you told me you weren't, you flat out asked me. Even after I told you I'm not going to buy anything, you asked me to buy something.
Will this really build your confidence? No. I can't think of anyone that would buy a magazine subscription from someone as they are leaving a store. I mean, they're leaving...they're done buying things.
And the whole win a trip/save the kids routine? Ugh! Do people really fall for that anymore?
So really, do I look the type? Do I look like I would fall for someone's stupid song and dance and give them money? Cause I've heard all this junk before (obviously). What is it about me that makes people think I'll fall for it? Be honest because seriously, this guy needed his ciggy and he wouldn't have postponed it if he didn't think it would be beneficial.