Monday, June 1, 2009

10 Minutes of My Life I Will Never Get Back...

The other day I had to run a few errands and stopped by the bookstore where I used to work and ran into The Most Awkward Person I Know. For short, we'll call this person AG (Awkward Girl). Fortunately for you, you have a choice whether or not to lose 10 minutes (or less) of your life reading this blog post. For me, there was no escape. Let me set the stage for you by sharing the last conversation I had with AG before I quit the bookstore before sharing this special awkward moment.

AG had been away at school in Arizona and had come back for Christmas, so I hadn't seen her in at least 4 (blessed) months. Here is our convo...

Me: Hi AG, how are you?
AG: Good. How are you?
Me: I'm good.
AG: Are you dating any hot guys?
AG: Are there any hot guys in your ward?
Me: I go to a family, no.
AG: Oh, I thought you went to a single's ward.
Me: I've been in a family ward for the past year.
AG: Well when was the last time you went on a date?
Me: Uhhh...a while.
AG: Like how long?
Me: (as I give her my best teacher voice/look that says "shut-up now if you know what's good for you") It's been a while.
The end.

Here is the convo we had on Saturday...please remember it has been 6 months since I have seen or talked to AG. I'm standing there looking at something and she is lurking nearby. I know I have to say something to her, and honestly I have blocked out our last convo so it doesn't occur to me that this is going to go south the minute she opens her mouth.

Me: Hi AG, how are you?
AG: Good. I was dating this guy and he asked me to marry him but I said no...obviously.
Me: Oh...okay.
AG: Well, I've been in Arizona for the past year. I don't know if you knew that or not. Yeah, I'm so over him.
Me: Well...good.
AG: I'm going to BYU Idaho in the fall, cause there was nothing for me in Arizona...I mean like NO guys.
Me: Huh...(thinking: How in the heck did she get into BYU? I couldn't even get into BYU with a 3.5 GPA 12 years ago!)
AG: He asked me to marry him like four times. Are you dating anybody?
Me: Well-
AG: -Oh my gosh, you should totally get a hair weave.
Me: I'm not getting a hair weave.
AG: Oh, if I had only known about hair weaves before, I would have cut my hair short a LONG time ago. All my friends tell me I look so hot and I tell them they should get a hair weave and then they say, "Oh my gosh, no!"
Me: Oh...uh-huh...well, I found what I came for...gotta go! Bye!

So, I'm sure most of you can figure out who this person is. I don't care if you do. I don't care if you judge me for writing this blog post. I just had to get it off my chest...and it feels good. :)


Kristen said...

someone that awkward from she Bella Swan perhaps???

side note. a girl at my work got a hair weave. Bad idea.

Alison said...

So THAT'S why I haven't been proposed to--I didn't get a hair weave. Problem solved! I'll go get one right now. :P Ugh. Sorry, you even had to see her. She makes me nuts and I barely spoke to her when she was here. I know . . . I'm going to hell.

Marisa said...

As one of my colleagues says, it sounds like your typical gum smacking valley girl. Everyone knows that a hair weave is what gets you the guy. Duh.

Erica said...


Emily Anne said...

Why do you attract all the crazies? There are lots of special people in the world and you seem to attract them all. I love how single people give advice on how to get married (not that married people are any better about giving advice on getting married. Actually, and unsolicited marriage advice is bad). Obviously a hair weave didn't work for her. I wouldn't waste my time and money.

Tamara said...

Oh rhia. Where on earth do you find these people?

Matt and Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt and Amy said...

I want to say I can guess, but Kristen's guess was so good that I am going to go with you ran into Bella Swan at the Bookstore. :) Did she mention whether the guy who proposed to her was a spider monkey?