An Awkward Sunday

Yes folks, that was what today was...an awkward Sunday. It all started when I had my interview in order to get a new temple recommend. We'll call this man Bro. P. (who is a very nice man and I am in now way trying make him look bad nor do I think badly of him...I laughed a lot at the things he said and I hope you do too). Anyways, so Bro. P. sat down with me and was asking me the typical get-to-know-you questions and our conversation went something like this:

Bro. P.: What ward are you in?

Me: Garland 4th

Bro. P.: Are you single?

Me: Yes.

Bro. P.: Why don't you go to the singles ward?

Me: I did until I turned 31.

Bro. P.: Oh, I didn't think you were a day over 25.

Me: :)

Bro. P.: You don't do anything with the older singles I presume?

Me: No...

Bro. P.: Well, I'm not going to tell you that you should because most of those people are in their 50s and it would be nothing but older men hitting on you and that wouldn't be good.

Me: Thank you.

Bro. P.: I know there is a group between 30 and 40 that get together and do things, do you ever do anything with them?

Me: No.

Bro. P.: There's a single guy that I know from another ward who is around your age...

Me: Are you talking about D.B.? (I am only going to refer to this guy as D, but I'm sure if you think hard enough, you might be able to figure out who it is...if not, ask me in person and I'll tell you)

Bro. P. (as his face lights up): You know him?

Me: Yes, D and I have been friends for a really long time. I've known him since he got home from his mission.

Bro. P.: Marry him.

AWKWARD!!!!!

Me: Uh....I don't want to marry D. We're just friends. I am not interested in him that way and besides, he's not the right guy for me.

Bro. P.: Well, okay. But don't wait around for Mr. Perfect. Find someone who is right for you but they won't be perfect.

Me in my head: Like I haven't heard that before! I'm 31 for crying out loud. You think this is the first time anyone has ever given me that advice?

Me in real life: Yes, I know :)

Okay, enough of awkward Sunday part 1. Let's now move on to part 2...

I get to church and am sitting on my favorite pew...the back pew. A man and his wife sit down next to me and introduce themselves. They are very nice and then the brother asks me if I am here alone or if there are other people with me. I tell him no, I'm alone and then he says "Awwwww!!! (like I just told him that my puppy died) That's terrible! We'll find someone for you!"

AWKWARD!!!

Then there were just a myriad of hymns today at church that were all at least two octaves higher than anyone could sing so we (well, them cause I didn't sing) sounded extremely pathetic whilst singing...

It was just one of those days.

My Little Booger

Okay, I don't even know how to start this blog except with this picture:

If it isn't bad enough that we have cloned sheep, cows, and horses, we are now cloning dogs. As if there aren't enough dogs in this world already. Anyone who has ever watched The Price Is Right knows that you need to have your pet spayed or neutered to help control the pet population, so why are we cloning animals that we have an overabundance of, that we build homeless shelters for, and that run around starving? Take a look at that picture again. It's because of crazy people like Bernann McKinney who loved her dog so much that she sold her house and traveled to Seoul, South Korea to clone it not once, not twice, but 5 times. Not to mention that her dog's name was Booger. I had a cat named Booger, and I'm not ashamed of it, but lady, you are nuts! My brother named that cat as a joke. She wants to build a place to train dogs or something like that and call it "Booger's Place" in honor of her dead dog.

Then, she tells us that it is a miracle from God that she has these puppies. God gave them to her.

And here is what she said, "I dream of the day when everyone can afford to clone their pet because losing a pet is a terrible, terrible loss."

I am just at a loss for words about what I think about this. Can you help me out? What is it I need to say? I am still in shock from this story. You can watch the 5 minute video from the MSN homepage or following this link.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26087293/?GT1=43001

I just don't have the words...

I Hereby Solemnly Swear...

To never post my wedding picture as my facebook profile picture.

To never have so many applications of my facebook page that nobody can find my wall to write me a message.

Apparently...

...I am a sinner...for the following reasons:

1. I went to the temple tonight only to realize that my recommend expired last month...and all I could do was laugh at the situation...especially when the brother at the recommend desk told me "You're off the hook!" when all I could do was turn around and go home. It's really hard to remember something two years in advance!

2. I got a speeding ticket yesterday ending my clean streak of almost 2 years of ticket free driving. I was going 52 in a 35 and after the cop handed me my ticket, he told me "Slow down and make it to your destination safely." Oh, right. Because going 17 miles over the speed limit is just dangerous. I mean how could I be so careless and put everyone's life in danger by going 17 miles over the speed limit!

3. I was supposed to get my haircut yesterday but instead I got a ticket and then pulled off the road to cry...so I didn't make it to my hair appointment. I didn't call to cancel. I didn't call to apologize for not showing up. I didn't call to reschedule. I want to but I'm too embarassed because I can never make it to my hair appointments on time or really even on the right day. I really like my hairdresser but I'm afraid my forgiveness tokens are all used up by now...maybe I'll call tomorrow.

4. There was a baby blessing at church on Sunday and all I could think about was Breaking Dawn. I was 100 pages away from being done at that point and the microphone wasn't working very well so I couldn't hear the guy giving the blessing...and my mind wandered...a lot.

5. I haven't been running in about 3 weeks. I know everyone else out there is rolling their eyes but I signed up for the Nike Race in Austin over Labor Day weekend (on a Sunday...yet another sin to add to the list) and I really haven't done squat. I can't run 6 miles cold turkey!

6. I scratched my mosquito bites.

7. I had a popsicle for dinner...now I'm going to have cookie for dessert at 11pm.

A Little Sumpin For Ya

Okay, that's Something...Sumpin...Something. Yeah. So it's really late but I feel bad because I promised a blog on Tuesday but I didn't deliver and Alison is going through withdrawals, so this one's for you All-ison. :)

Yesterday I had to call the Verizon people. I had the number hastily written down on some receipt shoved in my purse. I wasn't paying too much attention when I wrote it down and even less attention when I dialed. It rings a few times and then a voice recording comes on:

"Welcome! If you know your code, enter it now. If you don't have a code then stay on the line."

I don't have a code with Verizon...

"Okay, just remember you must be 18 years or older to use our service."

Well of course...no kid needs to be hooking internet service up...that's crazy.

"Let's get started. If your a man, press 1. If your a woman, press 2."

Why do they care if I'm a man or a woman? It must be some kind of voice recognition thing so they can better understand you when you have to stand there and look like an idiot while you say things like "That one. 2. Other." etc. beep (I pressed 2 since I'm a woman.)

"All right! Are you ready to get wild and crazy..."

What???!!!!! Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!! click.

Moral of the story: Never write a 1-800 or a 1-888 number down in sloppy handwriting.

Tuesday

On Tuesday I will have internet again and be connected to the wide world again.

On Tuesday the plumber will come fix the drain to my washer and I can have clean clothes.

On Tuesday I will post a new blog with all of my fun thoughts and things I have experienced in the past week or so.

On Tuesday I will read and laugh and comment on all of your blogs I haven't read yet.

On Tuesday I will finish unpacking.

But today I am borrowing my brother's internet.

Today I am going to finish my book (yeah, Breaking Dawn).

Today I am going to eat pizza.

And tomorrow I am going to mow my lawn...please pray for me.

A Letter To Corporate America

Dear Corporate America,

I hate you.

Sincerely,
Rhia