Shew! That STANKS!

I'm not talking about stink here...I'm talking about STANK! So I work part-time at the LDS Bookstore here in Dallas and I absolutely love it. We sell books, but we also sell other favorite LDS things...such as candles. I heart candles. I have bought many a candle with my employee discount. Candles can smell yummy, flowery, memorable, just plain good, and sadly downright nasty. For instance, there is a candle that smells (to me at least) like rootbeer. I heart rootbeer. I do not heart rootbeer scented candles. It. Be. Stanky! For some reason, someone decided this would be a good candle to put in the bathrooms at the bookstore. It sits back there in those nasty bathrooms, in that little room with those old out of print books all day and burns, burns, burns. (No, the out of print books are not in the bathroom...the bathrooms are in the out of print room. Just clarifying.) I was so glad last week when I saw that it was almost burnt out. The wick was just this little speck in the bottom of the jar. I thought to myself, "Thank goodness! That must have been a candle that never sold so they decided to just go ahead and use it. I hope someone has the sense to put a more appealing scent back here so we don't gag when we have to use the bathroom." I come back this week and I go into the bathroom and the stank hits me...rootbeer/bathroom/moldy carpet. Good night nurse! Is that candle still not finished? How is that possible? It was flickering out last week! I look and lo and behold, someone has put a brand stinkin' new rootbeer throw-up candle in the bathroom...

I really need to move

This is the "grassy" area right outside my bedroom window where Ben has been reported to be seen tromping around. I am a little concerned as you might guess that it is not live grass anymore but dead grass. Notice how it is neatly contained in this area and the deadness does not spread outside the fence, nor does it go past the tree. I think Ben is trying to poison me by putting deadly chemicals in the ground that will seep into my bedroom so that when I walk around barefoot, the skin on the bottom of my feet will absorb these deadly chemicals (probably Anthrax) and in turn poison me. And I bet he has the secret antidote and is fantasizing that I will get sick and he will be the only one to save me with it. Ugh! I so do not want to be saved by creepy Ben. I am NOT walking barefoot in my bedroom anymore.

Apparently...

...I have forgotten how to drive.

This weekend:

I think I scared a friend riding in the car with me...twice...maybe more.

I almost ran over some kids rollerblading across the street.

Someone called me a dumb "person" (okay, person wasn't really the word he used but I'm not typing that word...use your imagination) as they were driving by because I almost didn't stop at a stop sign and would have hit them if I hadn't.

I drove right by my mother's house today and didn't realize it until I was about halfway down her street.

It's just that when I get in the car (especially with other people), I start thinking of other things. I have become the kind of driver that gets on my nerves. So this week, my goal is to focus and try to be a better driver.

And my apologies to anyone that I might have frightened with my lack of concentration recently...or in the past...or in the future...hopefully not in the future, but I'm not perfect so it's possible. :)

I'm just sayin' is all...

Okay, why do the cafeteria ladies have to serve mashed yams on the same day they serve tacos? Every time I see that I think, "Oh, good, refried beans" but then when I get closer, I realize no, it's not beans, it's yams. Gross! If I were between the ages of 5 and 11, it would be really easy for me to make a drastic mistake and potentially ruin my lunch. It's really just cruel if you ask me.

Do I Have Anything In My Teeth?

Look closely and answer honestly please.


Okay, really this picture was taken when Janette and I were in Italy (look at the date on the picture...it's been 3 years *sigh*) and she was teasing me that I would always smile with my mouth closed so I showed her some teeth. There is a better picture of me in front of the Vatican. Don't worry.
Seriously though, if I ask you if there is something in my teeth, would you please answer me honestly? I ate this huge piece of chocolate cake tonight (yummy!) and after I was done, I asked a trusted friend if I had any food in my teeth. She glanced at me and quickly said, "Nope, you're good." Really? Did you really look? Cause when I got home tonight and flossed, guess what I found in my FRONT teeth? Chocolate cake! And nobody said anything all night long. I smiled all night long at people and nobody said anything!
If you ask me if there is anything in your teeth, I will actually look at your teeth and I will answer you honestly. In fact, this evening, I spotted a small piece of broccoli in my friend's teeth after she asked me, and I pointed it out. I only saw it because I REALLY looked. A glance won't do it.
So please, if I trust you enough to ask you if there is anything in my teeth, please look and answer honestly. It would really mean a lot to me. Thank you and good night.

I'll Never Let Go Jack!

There's only one guy that can make me calm when life is crazy, can remove a brain tumor in under 30 minutes, can make a mean hamburger, can save the world in under 24 hours, can get off a deserted island by strapping two giant turtles together and riding them out to sea (or so they say), can strike fear into the heart of all giants, can make me laugh uncontrollably when playing a guitar, and that will wade the icy waters of the Atlantic so the woman he loves has a chance at living.

I'ts Jack...

Jack Johnson
Jack Sheppard
Jack in the Box
Jack Bauer
Jack Sparrow
Jack and the Beanstalk
Jack Black
Jack Dawson

What would this world be like without him? *sigh*

It's A Miracle!

The plants in the library weren't dead after who knows how many days of no water...the blinds were all closed too so I guess they didn't get any sunshine either.

I finally threw the meat away in my fridge that I didn't want to touch. In fact, I cleaned out my whole fridge. It's pretty empty right now.

I was early to work today.

I got all of my laundry washed, folded, AND put away last night.

My talk went fine yesterday and I didn't pass out or throw up or, heaven forbid, die.

My BFF is reading my favorite book (FINALLY!)...and she likes it!

I am going to go running tonight.

It must be an Easter miracle! Belated, yes, but miraculous nonetheless.